toaster, Jesus, I hope I don't come off that indecisive. I would not BC that many times in such a short period. But it was helpful to read. Put things in perspective.
Personally, I really don't care about being natural or relaxed. I've been both enough times and I know how to deal with both. I guess my problem has always been that in the past, unlike many girls, I NEVER cared about having long hair. So I could rock a fade or CBL length relaxed hair and not care either way because it was just hair and it could grow back. Whatever. Now I have a boyfriend that really likes long hair and hates most natural hair styles and is my first serious relationship, I'm trying to appease him (he didn't force me to grow long hair though).
Now I have to consider all these techniques and regimens to grow out my hair and being careful with my roots and my ends, and moisture/protein balance and avoiding heat, protective styling, relaxer stretching, etc etc. That's what been frustrating, having all of these options! I have anxiety and have a hard time sticking to one thing and potentially missing out on something else. Plus because I'm very low-maintenance so all these regimens that have been recommended seem very tedious for someone like me. Hair is not big a deal to me. Making it a big deal and trying to grow my hair out is like shoving a cube into a circle. it's not fitting with me well.
But I'm gonna try to grow my hair out a bit more (CBL or APL) and i'm right now neck length and that's cool. But I think either way, I'd like something that doesn't take up 3 hours of day just to wash it, or stress me out styling it. I like my hair either shaved (not an option), a pixie (too difficult to grow out) or straight bob.
I hope that explains my inconsistency. And I guess i'm sorry if i annoyed anyone with my many questions.