My usual vent...and let me know what you think, please.

[Kimberly]

Okay, family. I just got my relaxer Saturday. Saturday night, I was dropping my daughter off with my aunt and she was talking about how pretty my hair was "Turn around and let me see it". I turned around and she was picking at it lightly when, the next thing I knew, she had a handful of it yanking it!!! I love my auntie but I almost cussed her out! Even if it had've been a sewn-in or glued-in weave, pulling on it like that still would have hurt me and it wouldn't have neccessarily came out in her hand! What was she thinking? Then she told me "You know people are going to think you have a piece in" I told her "It's a good thing I don't care about what people think". She asked me what I was trying to do..I didn't understand the question. I have to be trying to do something if I take care of my hair and manage to retain a little length? So I told her. "I'm trying to reach armpit length by the end of the year". Personally, I think I may have already achieved it but, with several weeks left to go, anything could happen. I'm trying to allow room for any possible set backs. You know, like not trying not to get my hopes up too high. Anyway, she's like, "There's no way you'll make it by the end of the year. That's just a month away". All I could say was "Hmm? You think so?" You're family is supposed to provide love and support not try to knock down your little hopes and aspirations. An "I'm sure you'll make it" would've been great!!

Then, yesterday, the same co-worker I've been on here complaining about before because she ran her hand up the back of my head, did it again. Honestly, I was half-expecting, half-waiting for her to do it. She waited until my back was turned and I was talking to someone else to sneak up on me, though and I jumped away and was like "What? What? What?" She said she just wanted to feel it. I said I just wanted her to ask first. Now, she's been running her fingers on my scalp every time I get a relaxer so why did she come up to me today and ask if I had a weave? And I asked her "Why are you asking me that when you make a point to check my scalp every time I wear my hair down?" She didn't have anything to say.

So, my hair is down and it's straight right now. How about someone asked me if I was trying to have "white girl's hair"??!!! WTF??!! I didn't say anything. I just looked at her crazy and kept walking. She came by my desk later and asked me what I did to get my hair to grow so long and I went into the thing about proper diet, plenty water, plenty of rest, proper care of the hair, scalp, ends....but somehow, she caught a whiff of the MTG. She wants me to get her some MTG...I guess she wants "white girl's hair" too...

Anyway, after the conversation with my aunt, I went home and took this pic. Am I really out of my mind to think I may make it to APL by the end of the year? Ya'll be honest with me.

 

[Elizabeth26]

I think you can make it to apl by december. You don't look that far away from that picture. You know there are alot of jealous people out there and they try to say things to bring you down.

 

[Blossssom]

What is with people putting their hands on others without permission?

I think heads need to start flying!

 

[Kimberly]

I think you can make it to apl by december. You don't look that far away from that picture. You know there are alot of jealous people out there and they try to say things to bring you down.

Thank you, Liz...but that's my auntie...I mean, dang??!! Even if she didn't think I'd make it she didn't have to stomp on my little hopes...She shouldn't be jealous of me. She was always one of those with the "good hair" (even though I, personally, do not believe in such a thing). Her hair is shorter than mine but there were times I wished my natural texture was like hers...I probably would be a natural if it were...

 

[Blossssom]

And the next time somebody says something about "white girl hair", please ask them what type of hair do Latinos and Asians have. Or are only black women the ones who want and/or have "white girl hair" besides whites themselves.

 

[Kimberly]

What is with people putting their hands on others without permission?

I think heads need to start flying!

I don't know what the deal is. And let me be clear, a few people have asked, and they were granted permission. I just don't care for the kamikaze sneak attacks. I like to know it's coming. And pulling is never necessary. I wore wigs for almost 6 weeks! Shamelessly switching in mid-week. I mean, just not trying to fool anybody. Surely, I would tell you if I had a weave.

 

[blazingthru]

I think that was nice of you to inform her of ways she can take care of her hair I wouldn't tell her about the MtG though I think that is too personal, i am not sure of the relationship that you have with the girl but - you are just to much up in my business I learned all this stuff on my own so now its your turn. Not that I wouldn't help my close friends I would but people that don't respect me or respect my space I just have a problem with them and I am not willing to give up all my secrets. I think you are a very nice person and I hate for her to be flunting (sp) her hair up in your face a year or so from now. Please that would just be to much for me.

 

[Kimberly]

And the next time somebody says something about "white girl hair", please ask them what type of hair do Latinos and Asians have. Or are only black women the ones who want and/or have "white girl hair" besides whites themselves.

Really, Blossssom, you know I had a lot of nerves coming in here with straight hair, in the first place....lol....just kidding.

Seriously, though, I think "white girl's hair" is supposed to be the epitome. We are ALL trying to have white girl's hair...Asians and Latinas are, too. Didn't you know? Why else would we all be trying to go blonde? The shocker to me was, after you talked about my hair, you come back wanting to know how I got it like that....

 

[Kimberly]

I think that was nice of you to inform her of ways she can take care of her hair I wouldn't tell her about the MtG though I think that is too personal, i am not sure of the relationship that you have with the girl but - you are just to much up in my business I learned all this stuff on my own so now its your turn. Not that I wouldn't help my close friends I would but people that don't respect me or respect my space I just have a problem with them and I am not willing to give up all my secrets. I think you are a very nice person and I hate for her to be flunting (sp) her hair up in your face a year or so from now. Please that would just be to much for me.

Well, when I was going over things that could help and she caught a whiff of the MTG, said she smelled something "medicated" I told her it was probably the oil I used on my scalp. She said I hadn't told her about that and practically accused me of trying to keep it a secret. "It's not a secret, sweetie, I was just telling you about what could help your hair be healthier from the inside out. We hadn't started on products, yet"

And I wasn't going to tell her about it because, people look at me like I've lost my freaking mind when I do...I'd rather show you than tell you anyway. I did tell her that what works for my hair, may not work for hers.

 

[OneInAMillion]

I think you'll make it to APL by the end of the year, you're so close. I wouldn't pay the haters any mind, but I'm glad you told your co-worker about herself--putting her hands in your hair is a no-no

 

[tenderheaded]

I'm so sorry!!! Sometimes relatives can be the worst. A cousin who is bsl pulled my hair a few years ago just because I'd been wearing a wig for a year. Does she think she's the only one who can have hair? I even had to part my hair for several catty white co workers so they could see my scalp NO TRACKS - and one hag still kept saying it was a weave

We are on this hair journey for ourselves. Your hair looks lovely and I know that come 12/31/05 you will reach your goal.

 

[Kimberly]

Thank you, OneInAMillion...I just don't understand, why hate? I haven't done anything that anyone else couldn't do....but best believe I am taking extra good care of my hair right now...so close...

I think you'll make it to APL by the end of the year, you're so close. I wouldn't pay the haters any mind, but I'm glad you told your co-worker about herself--putting her hands in your hair is a no-no

 

[Kimberly]

Thank you, tenderheaded... we shouldn't have to prove anything to anyone. If I was wearing a weave, so what. Whose business is it?

One of my co-workers sounds like your cousin. She has blunt-cut BSL hair and she is all the time telling me about how I need to cut mine and use plenty of "grease". I have told her that my hair does not like grease. Still it's "OOh, girl, you need to cut that stuff...and use some GREASE!"

I'm so sorry!!! Sometimes relatives can be the worst. A cousin who is bsl pulled my hair a few years ago just because I'd been wearing a wig for a year. Does she think she's the only one who can have hair? I even had to part my hair for several catty white co workers so they could see my scalp NO TRACKS - and one hag still kept saying it was a weave

We are on this hair journey for ourselves. Your hair looks lovely and I know that come 12/31/05 you will reach your goal.

 

[aileendq]

Kimberly:

To your Aunt, I would say, "Just because you are family does NOT give you the right to be rude."

To your coworker: "It really is inappropriate to invade my space. Please don't do it again."

I wouldn't mention hair at all, lest they think you have chip on your shoulder about it. Just make it a personal space issue...It's clear they both are very jealous (not that they shouldn't be...beautiful hair!!) but don't address it.

Pay it minimal attention, and be proud of the effort you put in in achieving your goal.

 

[NoNapNique]

This is exactly what I'm not looking forward to once I reach my goal... I want long hair for ME... and it will be hard having to put up with all the "hating". Black women have this impresssion that a woman with long hair is only doing it to make her feel inferior... But I have had to endure haters since high school, and I was quiet with a shoulder length bob!...

So I guess I'll soon be back in high school at 32 years old!

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

That is so sad. But I'll give some advice my brother gave me long years ago (lol saying that like i'm all ancient )

You have a-holes and then you have a-holes. The best way to deal with them? *dramatic pause* Don't.

lol how was that tender lil nugget of joy? There'll always be someone telling you that you can't. It's not always hateration, it's just people with small minds (and limitations) that can't see beyond their barrier. Don't let them project that mess onto you. Keep reaching. Technically, my parents were told I wouldn't be a viable productive member of society..... as you can see I'm still here. I'm doing quite well too! Keep on reaching. And yes girl you are almost there! Grow dat grass!

 

[Healthb4Length]

Okay, family. I just got my relaxer Saturday. Saturday night, I was dropping my daughter off with my aunt and she was talking about how pretty my hair was "Turn around and let me see it". I turned around and she was picking at it lightly when, the next thing I knew, she had a handful of it yanking it!!! I love my auntie but I almost cussed her out! Even if it had've been a sewn-in or glued-in weave, pulling on it like that still would have hurt me and it wouldn't have neccessarily came out in her hand! What was she thinking? Then she told me "You know people are going to think you have a piece in" I told her "It's a good thing I don't care about what people think". She asked me what I was trying to do..I didn't understand the question. I have to be trying to do something if I take care of my hair and manage to retain a little length? So I told her. "I'm trying to reach armpit length by the end of the year". Personally, I think I may have already achieved it but, with several weeks left to go, anything could happen. I'm trying to allow room for any possible set backs. You know, like not trying not to get my hopes up too high. Anyway, she's like, "There's no way you'll make it by the end of the year. That's just a month away". All I could say was "Hmm? You think so?" You're family is supposed to provide love and support not try to knock down your little hopes and aspirations. An "I'm sure you'll make it" would've been great!!

Then, yesterday, the same co-worker I've been on here complaining about before because she ran her hand up the back of my head, did it again. Honestly, I was half-expecting, half-waiting for her to do it. She waited until my back was turned and I was talking to someone else to sneak up on me, though and I jumped away and was like "What? What? What?" She said she just wanted to feel it. I said I just wanted her to ask first. Now, she's been running her fingers on my scalp every time I get a relaxer so why did she come up to me today and ask if I had a weave? And I asked her "Why are you asking me that when you make a point to check my scalp every time I wear my hair down?" She didn't have anything to say.

So, my hair is down and it's straight right now. How about someone asked me if I was trying to have "white girl's hair"??!!! WTF??!! I didn't say anything. I just looked at her crazy and kept walking. She came by my desk later and asked me what I did to get my hair to grow so long and I went into the thing about proper diet, plenty water, plenty of rest, proper care of the hair, scalp, ends....but somehow, she caught a whiff of the MTG. She wants me to get her some MTG...I guess she wants "white girl's hair" too...

Anyway, after the conversation with my aunt, I went home and took this pic. Am I really out of my mind to think I may make it to APL by the end of the year? Ya'll be honest with me.

Girl, you are entirely too NICE! I would let the co-worker and your aunt too, know that you don't appreciate that sh!t! God only knows where they're hands have been, if it was a white or non black person would they have done the same thing! Ugh! WHy do we do this to each other?

 

[Healthb4Length]

Kimberly:

To your Aunt, I would say, "Just because you are family does NOT give you the right to be rude."

To your coworker: "It really is inappropriate to invade my space. Please don't do it again."

Exactly! and if she does it again report to your supervisor or go to HR!

 

[Sosoothing]

Yes you can make it to APL by end of the year . Your hair looks so healthy too .

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

And as for your coworker lmao a pimp slap usually does the trick. j/k

 

[Chinagem]

Do me a favor. The next time somebody places his/her fingers in your head without first asking and getting approval, reach up and grab their fingers and give it a good twist and snap those bad boys right off or at least try to. I bet they won't even think of doing it again.

 

[uncutandgettinglonger]

There was a girl in middle school who would always mess with my hair. My hair tends to want rto stand up on its own when there is a lot of NG, and a person running their hand through it does not help the cause.

What's with all the hate? Why does it matter if you have long hair or whatever. Its your hair and your choice. I want to have long hair because it is my glory, not to please anyone else. People make me sooo mad.

 

[Kimberly]

I love you guys. I really do. I swear to goodness sometimes this seems like the only place I can come to with my hair issues, my hair hopes, my hair whatever and feel like I'm not being mocked or whatever. You guys are always so positive. If I can't get the love anywhere else, I know I can get it here....

One of my co-workers has almost waist length hair and she told me yesterday that she had heard some of our other co-workers talking about my hair and she was like "Girl, don't listen to that BS...they are just some haters and some sh!t starters...whatever you're doing, I wouldn't tell them a d@mn thing!"...maybe she's right. Maybe ya'll are right and I've been too nice to these people who are really quite rude and lacking basic "home training"...

My plan now is to put my hair back in hiding for a while. I may not wear it down to work again for a while....I actually enjoy wearing the wigs. All the ones I have now are shorter than my hair so I get to wear short styles without cutting it.

Anyway, as ya'll know by now, I tend to ramble a little bit...HHG!!

 

[1Specialk]

Anyway, after the conversation with my aunt, I went home and took this pic. Am I really out of my mind to think I may make it to APL by the end of the year? Ya'll be honest with me.

I think you will be very close, if not at APL. Looks, good