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My hair was raped today. So violated. Rant!

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Wow, I feel so sorry for you. I have never experienced a scissor happy stylist, but I cannot imagine. They just pull the scissors out real quick and start cutting. I would have left with the loopsided cut on principal and let someone else finish. I also think you should have left from the beginning. How are you gonna make me feel like I'm doing you a favor by paying you for a service? Now that is some nerve. You don't have to show your tail by getting loud and ghetto, but I would have calmly and firmly told him, "Sorry I inconvenienced you by providing you with business in this recession. Goodbye!" Again, I am so sorry. From your title, I can tell you are hurt. Different scenario, but I felt that same way after buying my first car.
 
An assessment of your hair should have been done prior to any service given. A stylist is only suppose to do what is asked of them nothing more. A recommendation could have been given by him for a trim if need be but only after consulting with you.

But your cut is very nice. Next time speak up and make sure you and stylist are on the page as far as your hair is concerned.
 
Sorry, hon. Your hair looks healthy though, and it looks like you've got a lot of natural shine. You grow girl. You'll be back on track in no time.
 
Big hug!!! I'm sorry this happened. That's why I can't stand these stylists, 90% of them never listen to what you have to say- no cutting means no cutting, period!
 
Covergirl5906 said:
From the moment he started complaining about taking down the weave I would have got up out of his chair and left...Exactly why i don't fool with stylists...I don't want to end up in jail :look:
Click to expand...


You wait all that time to get your hair done and you have your mind wrapped around a supposed outcome, I can see how someone would stay in the chair. However, this incident teaches me that if he was that disrespectful to be complaining about a service that was previously discussed, he's not really interested in MY wants for my hair. He's just gonna do what he wants to do.:nono:

Sorry OP! I hate when stylists get loud or talk down to you because they know what they're doing. :rolleyes: But we can't buckle on their pressure. It's our hair on our head and our money paying for their crap. No more.
 
I am so sorry this happen to you. I know its disappointing not to reach your goals when you expected.
Everytime I see these post, it reminds me why I havent been to the salon in over 2 years and why I am not going back.
 
CAPlush said:
You aren't going to be able to grow your hair if you keep going to stylists, especially stylists like this.
Click to expand...

Yeah....you may have to become a DIYer for all or most of your hair care until you feel strong enough to be as aggressive in speaking up for yourself as they are about trying to cut your hair.


Kacie said:
Girl, you let this 'new' stylist take down the weave. I'm still stuck on that part.
Click to expand...

I have to say that this is the part that surprised me the most. I learned many years ago that VERY few people have the patience to take down a weave or braids correctly. I only take extensions down myself. I don't even trust my mom.
 
jamaicalovely said:
Okay,

So I had my sew in from Feb until today ~ 2.5 months. I decide to take down, get a steam treatment and flat iron press.

I was not feeling the stylist during my first hour since he made it clear every 5 mins that he did not like the fact he had to take down my weave. Though I told him that when I set up the appt, I guess he was still upset since the NBA West finals were coming on. But, I let that go.

After taking down my weave, I noticed he was taking me to the wash bowl without detangling my hair. NO!!!!!!!! Dude, are you serious? So I asked that he comb out my hair. His reply...."I did."

I reminded him of my steam treatment and he basically told me that he does the treatments, but they really don't do anything different than a normal d/c under the dryer. Well I told him I WANTED the steam treatment and my hair gives off extra shine and looks healthier after steam treatments.

Okay, here is where my hair was raped....

After scalding me with the blowdryer to straighten me out, he pulls out the scissors and begins cutting my hair. :stop:

Me: Yanking my head away...."Whoa whatchu doing?"
Stylist: "I'm cutting your hair."

Me: "I don't want my hair cut"
Stylist: "You wanted a press."

Me: "Yes, and no cutting, please."
back and forth
back and forth
:arguing:
Stlylist: "Well I can't curl split endz." This was said loud in front of other stylist and client. I'm done at this point.
:catfight:
Me: embarrased. "Just do whatever." Knowing he already snatched a layer and cut it.:wallbash:

Outcome:

Hair cut shorter than length in Dec 08.

More pics in fotki.

Me pissed!

My goals for APL in summer is ruined. I'm pulling out a gun on the next stylist that does this without asking. :ohwell:

Thanks for letting me rant.
Click to expand...

Hello Jamacialovely. First, I would like to say that I am sorry that you had such a horrible experience with the stylist. I know it can seem like a lot your hard work was cut off and for that I am truly sorry. On a brighter note, your hair looks gorgeous; healthy and shiny.

I know how incredibly important our hair is to the members of this forum. (I have spent more money and time on my hair then I would ever care to disclose.) That being said, I would encourage you and other members not to use the word "rape" when relaying hair expeirences. Now, before anyone gets upset with me, please let me clairfy by saying that I am by no means the PC police. However, this is an open forum in which women (and men) come together to share their expeirences and I think that use of the word "rape" to describe what happened to our hair somewhat trivializes the expeirences of women who have actually been "raped"...some of whom are active members on this very fourm.

I hope this post is received with the sincerity and humility that was meant.

Again, I hope your future salon expeirences are better. I think a number of the posters have come up with great tips and ideas. *Hugs*

CMW
 
This is so outrageous! I'm sorry JL this happened to you. I don't know why stylist think they can do anything they want to do with our hair.

On a positive note, your hair looks very nice and healthy!
 
*fabulosity* said:
I don't understand where people are saying you didn't speak up? You turned around immediately and told him after he started cutting.. but it's like what can you do??? Leave the salon with a lop sided haircut.. I had this happen to me in college... when I was waist length..and got trimmed to like BSL.. my dad goes.. well I wouldn't a person cut my hair like that without asking or telling me first...like it goes down like that.. :lachen: Anyway, it's not for lack of speaking up... but what can you do when they've already started cutting... Now I survey the area and there better not be any scissors around. Because they would more likely get stabbed with them.. then me leave with a hair cut I wasn't expecting... :lachen:

My stylist knows now.. that it will be on the NATIONAL news if something like that happens again... don't try me. I spent too much money and time on this stuff. Plus she wants to see my hair grow too. I don't try new folks no more.. PERIOD. I have 3 that I have used in the last 25 years and I'll keep those three in the mix forever.. because they know better. You gotta get someone on your SAME AGENDA.. this is KEY with stylists.

One of my old stylists told me that before too.. can't curl split/damaged ends... I'm like well just flat iron it straight fool! It may be true; but anyone who approaches me like that gets the side eye..and if I let them cut.. I most defintely need a mirror.


I'm so sorry darlin! It's stll shiny healthy and beautiful! Your hair wll grow out.. and now you've got fresh ends to take care of so it doesn't happen again..

HUGS!
Click to expand...
I agree with this. Either way, your hair does look good and you'll get your length back. Just don't go to that stylist ever again.
 
JL...I know you are upset, but you know what....your hair looks fabulous! He did a good job. :yep:

jamaicalovely said:
Okay,

So I had my sew in from Feb until today ~ 2.5 months. I decide to take down, get a steam treatment and flat iron press.

I was not feeling the stylist during my first hour since he made it clear every 5 mins that he did not like the fact he had to take down my weave. Though I told him that when I set up the appt, I guess he was still upset since the NBA West finals were coming on. But, I let that go.

After taking down my weave, I noticed he was taking me to the wash bowl without detangling my hair. NO!!!!!!!! Dude, are you serious? So I asked that he comb out my hair. His reply...."I did."

I reminded him of my steam treatment and he basically told me that he does the treatments, but they really don't do anything different than a normal d/c under the dryer. Well I told him I WANTED the steam treatment and my hair gives off extra shine and looks healthier after steam treatments.

Okay, here is where my hair was raped....

After scalding me with the blowdryer to straighten me out, he pulls out the scissors and begins cutting my hair. :stop:

Me: Yanking my head away...."Whoa whatchu doing?"
Stylist: "I'm cutting your hair."

Me: "I don't want my hair cut"
Stylist: "You wanted a press."

Me: "Yes, and no cutting, please."
back and forth
back and forth
:arguing:
Stlylist: "Well I can't curl split endz." This was said loud in front of other stylist and client. I'm done at this point.
:catfight:
Me: embarrased. "Just do whatever." Knowing he already snatched a layer and cut it.:wallbash:

Outcome:

Hair cut shorter than length in Dec 08.

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
IMG_0353.jpg
[/FONT]

IMG_0347.jpg


More pics in fotki.

Me pissed!

My goals for APL in summer is ruined. I'm pulling out a gun on the next stylist that does this without asking. :ohwell:

Thanks for letting me rant.
Click to expand...
 
:wallbash::wallbash::wallbash: Why Do We Continue to Allow Them to Treat Us this way, when we are Spending Our Hard Earned Cash ???

I cannot Understand it. I was guilty too. That's why I am sitting up here right now looking Like A Cue-Ball with Patches Missing outta my hair, because I sat there with Chemical on MY HAIR and didn't say anything.:wallbash:
And Refused to speak up because I didn't want to start a "Scene" or Afterall, She is "The Professional" Now Look at me. Looking Like Michael Jordan's Twin:wallbash:

I am sooooooooo afraid to let anyone else in My Hair. And Had to Repent to God & My Hair for all the Stylist I let "rape my hair" As you put it. I just sat there for "Years" Watching My Hair Be Abused???? DUH

NO MORE. I am sooo Angry. Maybe I Got PTSD or something:lachen:

I am determined to be a DIY and this Post Makes me even more determined.

I am suppose to try to "Self Relax" for the 2nd time this weekend. And I've been fighting with myself all week: "Maybe I could go to a Shop and have them do the Relaxer and then I will have my nerves together and start doing them next time"

But Hey, After Reading this: I'm Good ! :rolleyes: Thanks Jamaica Lovely -- This is Just What I needed.
 
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Oh no! I'm sorry to hear this JL!:bighug: Your hair still looks great thick and healthy. That guy needs his @$$ kicked.:boxing:
 
First of all, I know just how you feel. I had to argue with the stylist back and forth with people listening and its so humiliating.

Second, I know you are disappointed, but it doesn't look that much shorter. I see where the V formation is now flat.
Just be glad he didn't cut your hair badly when he cut out the weave.

I was so discouraged that my left side had grow about 2 inches longer than my right after a 14 week stretch that when i got home after the touch up I started thinking he was right to want to trim it and I megadusted the left side myself using the ponytail technique. Now I feel like my hair was longer 18 months ago. I've had little breakage so I'm not sure why except that I am now texlaxed which means shrinkage.

anyway....please don't stay away too long like that. I need you for inspiration...we all need each other. DARN these hair stylists
 
I'm sorry this happened. I'm mad ole dude put you on blast with the split end comment and forced you into a hair cut you didn't ask for or want to pay for.

I think your hair is lovely.
 
I'm supposed to go to a salon on Friday but I think I'm going to cancel LOL
I'm a DIY'er. Do you normally do your own hair?
 
I know how you feel lady, after working so hard to get where i am now, i would do serious things to a stylist like that! I dont want anybody but me putting scissors near my hair, and sometimes i know i need to back away from them scissors too.

Really sorry about your experience but you did it before and you'll get back there in no time.
 
jamaicalovely said:
I know. But he was a referral and I didn't want to show my %#$.
Click to expand...


I agree that you should have showed out... referral or not. He was 100% out of place to do you like that. Obviously you're never going back to him, but if you plan to go to a different stylist in the future I agree with everyone else that you set the ground rules first and go in for a consultation with your hair so that they can see it and assess it before you ever come back for a service.

That way you are both clear on the starting condition of your hair and what you will or will not allow him/her to do to your hair.

Personally, I'm not a complete DIYer because sometimes I like the fresh from the salon look and I haven't achieved that completely at home (is that ok to say around here :look:). So, I'd say do what works for you... whether it's becoming a complete DIYer or finding a stylist who is on the same page as you when you do decide you want to go to a salon.

Bottom line is the health of your hair is very important... Length will definately come back. I feel really bad for you, but in my own experiences with set backs I can tell you it will grow back healthy in no time. You can certainly APL.
 
Cream Tee said:
I think when you go and see a stylist, before they even put their hands in your hair you tell them what you don't want, and confirm that they can work with what you're asking. If it's a problem or they have issues it's best to just walk away.

I know it's difficult as they can be so intimidating, but in the back of you mind you've got to remember that it's your hair and your money.
Click to expand...

ITA...this works best for me too. Tell them BEFORE they start, that way you can detect attitude early and leave. However, more than likely, they will know you're serious and follow your wishes.
 
that wretched terd! see, this is why i don't go to stylists. i am so sorry that he did that to you. i remember those days when i would sit and do nothing, and my hair burnt and split and suffered for it.

hopefully you also learned a lesson here. get up and walk away from ignant.
 
I am so sorry this happened to you, I can see why you are upset, your progress has been stalled. Yet I must say your hair is beautiful. (((((HUGS)))))
 
Sorry to hear about this JL.Your hair is beautiful thought and you're one of my inspirations, so I know your hair will be back in no time.
 
This is why I'm so scared to go to another stylist. I had a similar story back in September 2008. I left crying & pissed off, all at the same time. :cry3::angry2:

I am DETERMINED to learn how to do my hair on my own...with the help of this site!

I'm sorry for your loss!!!!!
 
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