My hair was raped today. So violated. Rant!

[jamaicalovely]

Okay,

So I had my sew in from Feb until today ~ 2.5 months. I decide to take down, get a steam treatment and flat iron press.

I was not feeling the stylist during my first hour since he made it clear every 5 mins that he did not like the fact he had to take down my weave. Though I told him that when I set up the appt, I guess he was still upset since the NBA West finals were coming on. But, I let that go.

After taking down my weave, I noticed he was taking me to the wash bowl without detangling my hair. NO!!!!!!!! Dude, are you serious? So I asked that he comb out my hair. His reply...."I did."

I reminded him of my steam treatment and he basically told me that he does the treatments, but they really don't do anything different than a normal d/c under the dryer. Well I told him I WANTED the steam treatment and my hair gives off extra shine and looks healthier after steam treatments.

Okay, here is where my hair was raped....

After scalding me with the blowdryer to straighten me out, he pulls out the scissors and begins cutting my hair.

Me: Yanking my head away...."Whoa whatchu doing?"
Stylist: "I'm cutting your hair."

Me: "I don't want my hair cut"
Stylist: "You wanted a press."

Me: "Yes, and no cutting, please."
back and forth
back and forth

Stlylist: "Well I can't curl split endz." This was said loud in front of other stylist and client. I'm done at this point.

Me: embarrased. "Just do whatever." Knowing he already snatched a layer and cut it.

Outcome:

Hair cut shorter than length in Dec 08.

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More pics in fotki.

Me pissed!

My goals for APL in summer is ruined. I'm pulling out a gun on the next stylist that does this without asking.

Thanks for letting me rant.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Sorry, Jamaica Lovely but I expected better from you. You know you should have walked away after this dude was not respecting your wishes at the first go. P.S..your hair still looks good but...he got away with something.

 

[jamaicalovely]

I know. But he was a referral and I didn't want to show my %#$.

 

[delray712000]

I am so sorry to hear this but your hair is still lovely

 

[wannabelong]

I'm so sorry this happened.

 

[locabouthair]

Sorry you went through that. It's a little shorter but your hair looks lovely!! Do you color your hair?

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

hell to the nawl. i would've asked if i could cut him first.

 

[jamaicalovely]

Thanks, girls.

Loca: No I don't color my hair.

 

[Mystic]

Wow, that sucks. I am also pissed off for you. Some of these hairdressers are so damn controlling!

 

[Urban]

awwww sorry this happened to you! I think LHCF should come up with some ground rules that we tell stylists before they start anything. And one of them should be "if you so much as put scissors near my head when I didn't ask for a cut, I'll mess you up!!" :210:

 

[CAPlush]

You aren't going to be able to grow your hair if you keep going to stylists, especially stylists like this.

 

[Nice Lady]

That is such a horrible experience. I am so sorry and I know how it feels for your progress to be snatched away from you. Don't worry it will grow back. You will be APL. There is always a setback before a major victory.

 

[Denise11]

You can't hold your tongue when stylists are doing something you don't like. Speak up, because if you don't, you'll never make it to your goal. You can't let them intimidate you.

But your hair does look pretty.

 

[doll-baby]

Your hair looks healthy and shiny. This is why I'm hesitant to go to a stylist. In 2002 I was just coming out of my micro braids and my hair grew from nape length to shoulder length. I knew I needed my ends clipped so I went to a salon to get that done "professionally".
By the time she was done my hair was ear length , she had cut all my progress off and my feelings were so hurt. So I vowed never to go to another stylist again, and I haven't so far.

 

[jada1111]

Sorry, Jamaica Lovely but I expected better from you. You know you should have walked away after this dude was not respecting your wishes at the first go. P.S..your hair still looks good but...he got away with something.

I agree.

Your hair looks great though, but still. Excellent shine!

 

[Urban]

You can't hold your tongue when stylists are doing something you don't like. Speak up, because if you don't, you'll never make it to your goal. You can't let them intimidate you.

But your hair does look pretty.

It's easier said than done though ... It would be interesting to find out what the underlying psychological processes that occur in this type of situation. I've had a simiar situation happen to me, but I really want to know what makes you let another person pull at YOUR edges or cutt off YOUR hair... and you let them do it even though you know it's going to set you back... Because, I think most of us try to speak up ... but still let the person/ stylist keep doing whatever...

Any psychologists in the house?

 

[lonelysky]

It's easier said than done though ... It would be interesting to find out what the underlying psychological processes that occur in this type of situation. I've had a simiar situation happen to me, but I really want to know what makes you let another person pull at YOUR edges or cutt off YOUR hair... and you let them do it even though you know it's going to set you back... Because, I think most of us try to speak up ... but still let the person/ stylist keep doing whatever...

Any psychologists in the house?

It is because of the percieved authority of the stylist.

 

[guyanesesista]

^^^True JCsavestheday. We need to learn to stop paying stylists to damage our hair and do what they feel like. We are the ones paying them to do what we need done. It just doesn't make sense. Maybe one day people will evolve to that point where they won't let stylists BS them.

Jamaica it sucks that that happened to you but your hair looks lovely and think of it as gaining less split ends as he looks like he cut every possible one off anyway. So yay no split ends for a fresh restart. Oh yeah and forget his address and phone number. You don't need to go back there.

 

[LushLox]

How much did he actually cut off, were you very close to APL?

Your hair looks in excellent condition though.

 

[msa]

I don't understand why you had to use such strong language in your title, especially because you allowed yourself to be a vctim of a typical SHS.

The cut is pretty though and your hair has great shine. It'll grow back before you know it.

 

[Miamori]

Your hair looks lovely and very healthy. At least you do have a fresh start.

You could maybe try emphasizing that you only want a LITTLE trimmed off, because you are growing out your hair. This works for me, and I do not feel intimidated or uncomfortable. The past two times I've had my hair trimmed (since I became a paying member), I have spent around 5 minutes saying just this before I let them in my head. The result was that they seemed to think I was a little crazy, but made SURE to cut just a smidgen. The first stylist gave me an even yet small trim, and the second stylist understood that I just wanted a dusting if anything, and did a great job, and even took the liberty of not trimming my layers (which I enjoyed; never thought of requesting this).

Maybe if you try talking it out before you get in the chair (and remind them when the time comes), it will make it more comfortable and easy for you to negotiate the trim.

 

[PinkSkates]

... I don't understand why women are afraid to speak up and fight for their hair once you sit in the stylist chair. It's YOUR hair take control of it!

 

[mariofmagdal]

Sorry that happened to you. Your hair is very pretty, shiney, and healthy looking!

 

[jamaicalovely]

How much did he actually cut off, were you very close to APL?

Your hair looks in excellent condition though.

I don't know how much he cut off. I'm sure it was a lot. No, I was not very close to APL. Picture how long hair should have been after 2.5 months post my avi pic.

Thanks for all your comments ladies. It was comforting to know that many of you had similar experiences.

Don't get me wrong, I was not afraid to speak up. Hence, that's why I noted that I firmly said "I don't want my hair cut" and went back and forth with the stylist. Remember he grabbed a chunk of hair and cut before I had the opportunity to say something. (most likely my longest layer) I told him to just finish what he was doing because I knew the damage was already done with the first swipe at my hair. There were smaller snips afterwards, but just to make the rest of the hair look right.

This was the first time a stylist cut without asking me. erplexed

I will do as many suggested, say it upfront and maybe go as far as request they put the scissors away in a drawer or something.

Thanks girls, I learned a valuable lesson!

 

[Covergirl5906]

From the moment he started complaining about taking down the weave I would have got up out of his chair and left...Exactly why i don't fool with stylists...I don't want to end up in jail

 

[LushLox]

I think when you go and see a stylist, before they even put their hands in your hair you tell them what you don't want, and confirm that they can work with what you're asking. If it's a problem or they have issues it's best to just walk away.

I know it's difficult as they can be so intimidating, but in the back of you mind you've got to remember that it's your hair and your money.

 

[nikki2229]

I checked your fotki and your last update in February looked great.
I hate to say that he did take off a few months worth of progress.
I had the same thing happen to me with too much heat at a salon in April.
Even other stylists at the salon told her to turn the heat down.

I flat iron my own hair from now on.

 

[Angelicus]

My word of advice:

Never go back. I had some fool cut six inches of healthy hair off before, only to go back to another stylist that cut off maybe 4 inches. If I didn't go back to those stylists, I probably would have been butt length (I was already scraping waist length when I went to one of them).

I recently learned how to trim my own hair and I feel so empowered! I will never go to another stylist again. They sure do love to cut hair. I don't know what his problem was.

And I don't know why you just didn't jump out of the chair when he started arguing with you. Don't let people who argue with you do your hair. I am so sorry he cut. Don't worry, hair grows fastest in the summer. It'll grow back.

 

[MummysGirl]

He can't curl flat iron split ends???? What a clown!

This has happened to you once, we learn from experience and I'm sure you won't let such a thing happen again.

Sorry about the setback but your hair will growwwww This incident will soon be an insignificant blip in the past.

HHG!!!

 

[*fabulosity*]

I don't understand where people are saying you didn't speak up? You turned around immediately and told him after he started cutting.. but it's like what can you do??? Leave the salon with a lop sided haircut.. I had this happen to me in college... when I was waist length..and got trimmed to like BSL.. my dad goes.. well I wouldn't a person cut my hair like that without asking or telling me first...like it goes down like that.. Anyway, it's not for lack of speaking up... but what can you do when they've already started cutting... Now I survey the area and there better not be any scissors around. Because they would more likely get stabbed with them.. then me leave with a hair cut I wasn't expecting...

My stylist knows now.. that it will be on the NATIONAL news if something like that happens again... don't try me. I spent too much money and time on this stuff. Plus she wants to see my hair grow too. I don't try new folks no more.. PERIOD. I have 3 that I have used in the last 25 years and I'll keep those three in the mix forever.. because they know better. You gotta get someone on your SAME AGENDA.. this is KEY with stylists.

One of my old stylists told me that before too.. can't curl split/damaged ends... I'm like well just flat iron it straight fool! It may be true; but anyone who approaches me like that gets the side eye..and if I let them cut.. I most defintely need a mirror.


I'm so sorry darlin! It's stll shiny healthy and beautiful! Your hair wll grow out.. and now you've got fresh ends to take care of so it doesn't happen again..

HUGS!