My friend's ex-boyfriend keeps emailing me...

[inthepink]

Yes. So, I've met her boyfriend definitely a few times. We no longer live in the same state so I don't even see her very often. They broke up probably 6 months ago. Before they broke up, he found me on facebook and would send me emails every now and again. My girlfriend was not on facebook at the time. The emails were mostly just "hey, what's going on? how are you doing?" I'd reply back simply "I'm doing fine. Hope you are as well."

So now they are broken up and it seems like he started emailing me more. I'm like ? And I'm finding it a bit inappropriate and I don't trust his motivations...especially since my girlfriend had issues with him in the beginning of their relationship with him saying that he didn't know if he could be with her b/c he saw himself marrying a black girl (my friend is Hispanic and he is Caucasian).

He sent me an email about 3 weeks ago and I did not respond b/c it was an unnecessary email. About a month ago, I did get email from him and how he was shocked to see my picture with my hair straight...complimenting me, etc.

Now, today, I get another email from him asking me how I'm doing.

What's up with that? I'm not replying. Some men are just wrong.

And no - whether he dated my friend or not, I would not be interested in him. He's just not what I'm looking for in any way, shape, or form.

Anyone else have their girlfriend former boyfriend suddenly take an interest in them? What did you do?

 

[simone103]

I've never been in this particular situation, but this guy has had his eyes on you for awhile - even before he and your friend broke up. Since it makes you uncomfortable I would block his emails from coming to you.

 

[Almaz]

Block him. YOU dont' need that mess in your life. When I was single I would have never dated a friends ex. Just something about it rubs me the wrong way.

THAT BABY IS TOOOOO CUTE

I've never been in this particular situation, but this guy has had his eyes on you for awhile - even before he and your friend broke up. Since it makes you uncomfortable I would block his emails from coming to you.

 

[Ericka]

I agree with the other ladies. This guy is obviously up to no good. I would let him know that your on to him and would appreciate it if he would leave you alone because for 1, you don't date your friend's ex boyfriends and 2, he is so no your type.

I think it would take longer for him to get the hint if you ignore him.

 

[kayte]

Anyone else have their girlfriend former boyfriend suddenly take an interest in them? What did you do?

it was worse actually ..it was a dear friend's deceased husband..asked me to lunch
what did I do ..tho I didn't beleive it...I gave him the benefit of the doubt...
and left word saying no thank you..and that I missed her his deceased wife too

when a few months later he asked me to come to his house for dinner I called him and left two messages saying I was sorry about his wife's death but never was he to call me again...ever
and the second call was to invite their grown daughter to call and then I said to make saure there is NO misunderstanding... I initially gave you my phone number...for the daughter ONLY..
not for you to call and you are not to call me... ask to me to dinner or email or anything...ever AGAIN....
I made it crystal clear even while being polite...so there no was no room for ambivalence....or confusion...not to encourage a recurrence of unwanted invites ...
It was clear... that I was disgusted and never wanted to hear from him..again

he hasn't bothered me
since
if you do the same..you could say

blocking you but just in case...so it's understod...
not interested....AT ALL..your emails are not welcome
and neither are you
don't email me..stop bothering me..


Then block so there's no discussion
but you have left it in his mind..no interest
he'll stop :0

 

[DarlingNikki]

Tell him you find the communication inappropriate considering the circumstances and then delete him as your friend on facebook.

 

[Valerie]

Totally agree with the ladies, delete him and block his emails. There is someone worthy, but not him.

 

[ChocalateDiva]

I would tell him that is its inappropriate for us to continue any type of communication. Dont assume that ppl will just "take the hint"......

 

[inthepink]

I'm leaning towards the passive-aggressive approaching of deleting him as a friend and blocking him. Why? Because I feel like if I email him and tell him that communicating is inappropriate, he'll just reply that and there, right there, he's got me communicating with him which is what I don't want to do.

Hmmm...haven't done anything yet though.

 

[RadiantBeauty]

Hi Hairlove! I think you should also inform your friend on whats going on as well. You wouldn't want to be in the same situation as her and be in the dark about it.

 

[ebonylocs]

I don't think you should tell him anything if you can avoid it. The objective is to just get him to stop communication. If you can do so by just blocking his mails, just do that. Nothing passive aggressive about that AT ALL. I would only advise you to say something to him if you have to see him around and he keeps pushing up on you. If his only contact with you is through the web, blocking him is enough.

 

[jada1111]

Yes. So, I've met her boyfriend definitely a few times. We no longer live in the same state so I don't even see her very often. They broke up probably 6 months ago. Before they broke up, he found me on facebook and would send me emails every now and again. My girlfriend was not on facebook at the time. The emails were mostly just "hey, what's going on? how are you doing?" I'd reply back simply "I'm doing fine. Hope you are as well."

So now they are broken up and it seems like he started emailing me more. I'm like ? And I'm finding it a bit inappropriate and I don't trust his motivations...especially since my girlfriend had issues with him in the beginning of their relationship with him saying that he didn't know if he could be with her b/c he saw himself marrying a black girl (my friend is Hispanic and he is Caucasian).

He sent me an email about 3 weeks ago and I did not respond b/c it was an unnecessary email. About a month ago, I did get email from him and how he was shocked to see my picture with my hair straight...complimenting me, etc.

Now, today, I get another email from him asking me how I'm doing.

What's up with that? I'm not replying. Some men are just wrong.

And no - whether he dated my friend or not, I would not be interested in him. He's just not what I'm looking for in any way, shape, or form.

Anyone else have their girlfriend former boyfriend suddenly take an interest in them? What did you do?

I think it's tacky and you should email him telling him that you "hope" he isn't interested in you in anything other than as a "friend", because you don't go out with friends' exes.

I remember being on a predominantly caucasian messageboard last year and this woman posted about how her friend wanted to go out with her ex-man, because they had so much in common. The guy was also interested and the "friend" wanted the woman's permission to go out with him. All three shared the same music class or something and of course, it would be a very awkward situation.

Well my response was the "there are just some lines you don't cross" one, along with her being a lowdown *itch for even thinking about it. Others were like "Well what if it's TRUE LOVE?" All I could say was "WHITE FOLKS". That's what I always say when I hear, see or read something that borders on the stupid that only THEY would consider.

Again, it also depends on how much you value this girl's friendship too.

 

[inthepink]

I don't think you should tell him anything if you can avoid it. The objective is to just get him to stop communication. If you can do so by just blocking his mails, just do that. Nothing passive aggressive about that AT ALL. I would only advise you to say something to him if you have to see him around and he keeps pushing up on you. If his only contact with you is through the web, blocking him is enough.

Yes, since I no longer live in the same state as my friend, I do not have any contact with him other than the web. At one time, he was trying to get a job in the state where I now live. Doesn't sound like he got it - he was all "if I get that job, you'll have to show me around." Ah...no I won't.

Thanks everyone for your advice. I am going to block him. I don't want to play his game.

 

[inthepink]

I deleted him as a friend!