My friend wants to kill herself - I need your help

[Nefertiti0906]

Ladies besides telling her to get help professionally I don't know what to tell her, and she can't afford to go to counseling right now.

She is in a miserable marriage. She has told her husband that she wants to go to couples' counseling but he does not want to; she says that he does not realize how much she dislikes him. She says she absolutely loathes him. They have a one year old son together.

She does not want to have to divorce (I think becaus of family backlash) although she states it's the cost.

She has almost stabbed herself but she stopped because she looked over at her son.

I don't know what else to tell her, other than to leave for her mental health...

Please help, I am VERY worried

 

[eyunka]

What always works for me is the fact no one will be able to take care of my kids better than me...that is a tough one.

Counseling is must right now

 

[dlewis]

Her family needs to know. Or someone she feels cares about her. She needs help.

 

[babydollhair]

She needs to go to counseling. Churches have it for free, and maybe she should think about seperating for awhile. I know i was in a frustrating marriage, it took time for me to see the bigger picture. When he didnt want to go to counseling as the last straw, i made him sign me off the lease and i moved out. Been there.

 

[TayMac]

Tell a family member.

Call the police and have her involuntary committed and placed on suicide watch.

 

[Mortons]

She should call a suicide hotline. They are toll free. Do you know her area so that I can get some numbers for her?

 

[caltron]

Yeah she should definitely get some help right away. Why does she hate her husband so much??

 

[FluffyRed]

and please act quickly, sometimes these folks take babies with them

 

[Nefertiti0906]

She should call a suicide hotline. They are toll free. Do you know her area so that I can get some numbers for her?

I'll PM you where she lives. Thanks

 

[Nefertiti0906]

Yeah she should definitely get some help right away. Why does she hate her husband so much??

I do not know. But I do know she was contemplating breaking off things with him before she got pregnant with their son. Because of the pregnancy she got married.

They come two different backgrounds. From listening to her, it seems like he does a lot of things without considering her feelings. Plus she is not attracted to him.

 

[missjanelleb]

She wants to kill HERSELF because she hates HIM? That doesn't make sense. It sounds like your friend has issues with herself and is blaming him. I would venture to say it is some sort of depression. If he doesn't want counseling, fine. She can go by herself. He may join later, but as someone stated earlier, she can go to a church. She needs to be connected with the body of Christ anyways. Those thoughts are always from satan. I will be in prayer for her.

 

[Nefertiti0906]

She wants to kill HERSELF because she hates HIM? That doesn't make sense. It sounds like your friend has issues with herself and is blaming him. I would venture to say it is some sort of depression. If he doesn't want counseling, fine. She can go by herself. He may join later, but as someone stated earlier, she can go to a church. She needs to be connected with the body of Christ anyways. Those thoughts are always from satan. I will be in prayer for her.

That's what I think also. She has been depressed in the past and has gone to counseling, prior to meeting him. She comes from a verbally/emotionally abusive background with her parents.

 

[Nefertiti0906]

I have to leave work so I"ll be away from this thread until I get home, but please keep contributing.

Thank you.

 

[music-bnatural-smile]

I don't think its just her husband, it might be several things, post-partum depression could be one of them...
Maybe have her come stay with you or tell her to stay with a family member for awhile and get her mind off things...
also she can get counseling on her own... suicidal thoughts are a BIG DEAL its not really a joke...

 

[starfish]

I"m praying for your friend.

Her background, coming from an abusive background, depression and the potential for postpartum depression (her son is a year old), means she is in serious mental trouble. I agree with the ladies who say do NOT downplay what she says.

She needs to be on suicide watch, either professionally or not.

OP call the suicide hotline and get advice as to how you can help.

 

[discobiscuits]

I'm sorry to read about your friend. I hope that all ends well for her and her child.

If her other 1/2 does not want to attend counseling & she utterly loathes him she should divorce him. If the cost is prohibitive she can file herself w/o an attorney. I have a friend who did that, it cost less than $150. If family is an issue, they do not eat, sleep and sex her husband; she does.

Divorce or not she needs to leave him for her life, her sanity and her child.

 

[Highly Favored8]

My heart goes out to both of you. Please get her some help.

 

[song_of_serenity]

and please act quickly, sometimes these folks take babies with them

Exactly. She stopped short of stabbing herself because she looked over at her son...if she's intent on killing herself and has the mother's "No one can do for my baby like I can" intuition, in order to not leave him with the man she dislikes so much, she may take her AND her baby out.

I'm so glad she confided in a friend like you who cares. Keep up updated!! And consider the suggestions! Suicide hot lines help a lot...she may be feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated and with her not getting a divorce because of backlash...feeling like she has no way out!

Since she has underlying issues with depression, she definitely should consider going back in counseling...if he will or NOT.

 

[Nefertiti0906]

Thanks ladies! I'm driving over to see her right now. I will let her know about the suicide hotline.

 

[jgreen0579]

Everyone please pray for her. Right now thats the best thing.

 

[kweenameena]

Wow....I understand what it's like to be at the end of your rope in a marriage but suicide is very different. It definitely seems that her self-worth has been damaged some sort of way and it doesn't seem like it begins with the husband.
If her family is abusive, will telling them that she is suicidal help the situation? Some families take suicide threats seriously but other families will call the person's bluff. This is a tough one because at the end of the day she needs as much support as possible. But support from the right people.

I'd definitely have her call a hotline. What made her tell you what was going on? Was she just venting? Most of the cases of suicide that I hear about....people don't warn others they just do it. Sounds like she wants help and wants someone to stop her (or maybe show her that they care). Not saying that you shouldn't take her suicide threat seriously...don't get me wrong.

What was she like before the husband came along? Was she depressed? I'm not sure if you know much about her husband but do you think it'd be a good idea if he knew?
I'll definitely keep all of you in my prayers....in fact, I will be praying once I finish typing this. Is she a believer? Is her faith something that she can turn to right now?

 

[deltadreamland]

Ladies besides telling her to get help professionally I don't know what to tell her, and she can't afford to go to counseling right now.

She is in a miserable marriage. She has told her husband that she wants to go to couples' counseling but he does not want to; she says that he does not realize how much she dislikes him. She says she absolutely loathes him. They have a one year old son together.

She does not want to have to divorce (I think becaus of family backlash) although she states it's the cost.

She has almost stabbed herself but she stopped because she looked over at her son.

I don't know what else to tell her, other than to leave for her mental health...

Please help, I am VERY worried

Sounds like we both have a friend in the same predicament. My friend and her husband had big arguments and stopped speaking a few days before their wedding; they still married. That was 6 years ago and she's miserable with a one year old son. I actually think he hates her more than she hates him, but...it's just sad.

I hope your friend can find help through a close family member.

 

[Latomian]

I vote for having her involuntarily committed. It may seem a little harsh, but I was about a year ago for overdosing on sedatives and other crap. I didn't want to go, I was miserable the entire time I was there, but I haven't even attempted suicide since. They help you and set you up with the right resources. It may seem hard...but it helps.

 

[suburbanbushbabe]

She stopped short of stabbing herself because she looked over at her son...i

She did this in front of her child?? If she's that unstable, I would call 911. A 72-hour commitment may give her some distance and a different perspective, as well as give her a bridge to some helping resources.

 

[discobiscuits]

unless you are direct family, you have no power or authority to get her involuntarily committed.

if she is an IMMEDIATE THREAT TO HERSELF OR OTHERS, then you can call the police (make sure you are there on the scene with her) and tell them what YOU saw or heard IN YOUR PRESENCE that proves she is an immediate threat. it will be better if you get her to tell them herself and then the police will have the authority to take her for a 72-hour evaluation even if the family objects.

that is the only way i know that YOU can get her involuntarily committed and it not be stopped by her husband or family. but it must be an immediate threat to herself or others and the police have to do it.

if she get committed, this may leave an opening for her husband to take her son away from her.

please try to encourage her to leave asap and seek free, professional secular counseling at a women's shelter in addition to spiritual guidance from a/her church. the two are not the same. church counseling is not the same as psychological counseling and vice versa.


when did she almost stab herself? how long ago? how did you learn of this?

 

[phynestone]

I think everyone has given good ideas and I will keep your friend in prayer. Please keep us posted.

 

[Latomian]

Well, she can be Baker Act'ed in Florida by a health professional, the police or 2 or 3 close friends who believes that she is in danger of harming herself or others (and abuse is an option).

 

[jada1111]

Ladies besides telling her to get help professionally I don't know what to tell her, and she can't afford to go to counseling right now.

She is in a miserable marriage. She has told her husband that she wants to go to couples' counseling but he does not want to; she says that he does not realize how much she dislikes him. She says she absolutely loathes him. They have a one year old son together.

She does not want to have to divorce (I think becaus of family backlash) although she states it's the cost.

She has almost stabbed herself but she stopped because she looked over at her son.

I don't know what else to tell her, other than to leave for her mental health...

Please help, I am VERY worried

Why is she acting like she MUST stay with this man for the rest of her life?

Is she from one of those cultures where she'll bring shame on the family if she divorces her husband? If not, then I don't see what the problem is.

 

[LookingandListening]

Sending some prayers up for her and her family--especially the baby.

 

[Nefertiti0906]

What made her tell you what was going on? Was she just venting?

Based on what she said, she confided in me because she feels like I'm her only friend who wouldn't judge her. I don't think she was just venting, from our conversation yesterday she told me she had two vivid "daydreams" that she actually went through with the suicide. She said it felt so real

What was she like before the husband came along? Was she depressed? I'm not sure if you know much about her husband but do you think it'd be a good idea if he knew?

She has had an episode of depression before, that I know of... I don't know her husband that well...