My children say end the marriage

[envybeauty]

also ask yourself *seriously* how you felt during those 20+ years with him.


a lot of women stay with a man because they have put so much time into the relationship -- then they feel as if every year is another anchor that they have to bear forever even if they were not happy during those years.

28 years is a long time but would you be happy if you had to spend another 28 years with him? if not, cut your losses.

 

[msdeevee]

Your children have no right to dictate the direction of you marriage. I understand they are hurt and very disappointed in their father. But it is up to you and your husband to make the decision of how you will proceed in your relationship.

You may just need a little family therapy. Your daughters will be ok. You need to make them see your relationship is important to you. They need to work on theirs with their Dad.

I undestand your children's position all too well. I have been there. My sister and I found out and everyone and their mother was telling us my mom should leave... I admit at times anger compelled to want to tell her leave. But then I thought about it. They have been married for 34 years. They have a lifetime together. Sometimes people will give you advice when they themselve have no clue the dedication and work it takes to maintain a marriage. Yes there are things that are unforgiveable (abuse). But there are some that if the parties admited their wrongs and both are willing to put the work in that can be forgiven. People tend to forget the worst part in marriage these days. They only see the better part.

I now know its not my place nor is it my sibbling's. Im working on my relationship with my Dad. It has taught me to see my parents as humans. I have started to build a relationship with each parent individually. Its a hard road, but you and your family will be ok. You are in my prayers.

^^ITA with this post. Your children have no right to tell you how to go on or whether or not to go on with your marriage.

I couldn't read every post so I don't know if you came back to explain but from your initial post your husband confessed to all 3 of you together I gather. That was the mistake if it happened that way.

He should have taken you aside and confessed this to you alone in private. Then you 2 together should have made the decision whether to tell your children. Your DH was obviously burdened by what he did and he released it and put the burden on everyone else. He prolly feels much better now

Bottom line this is your man and if you choose to forgive him and you have every right to, that is btwn you and him. Your daughters unfortunately will have their own man drama as the years go on and believe me unless your relationship is different than most you won't be able to tell them a thing as to how to handle their future men .

I grew up in a chaotic household with an abusive father and I wished my Mother would have left but I could not tell her that. It was her choice.

If you love your husband and have forgiven him your children will have to get over it. They will soon be on their own and if you choose to you'll be alone or going through drama with a new man.

Base your decision on your feelings not theirs unless he's physically abusive and I agree with maybe a few sessions of family counseling would help.