My boyfriend is driving me nuts

[Whimsicalgodess]

Whenever I’m in a bad mood he always gets into one. So instead of being comforted and soothed, we get into in an unnecessary argument.

I freaking hate it. My mother did this to me growing up as well. It’s one of my pet peeves. My father kept his cool and treated me normally (the way it should be). I try telling him what I need from him when I’m like this and he claims he doesn’t know why my energy rubs off on him.
My God, why can’t people have their OWN emotions?! Is it immaturity? Is he an empath? Either way I’m annoyed…

 

[silverbuttons]

Is he an empath? Either way I’m annoyed…

Does he always mirror your emotions?

this does sound annoying. And also like he’s not comfortable soothing people… either way he has the capacity to change his behavior.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Whenever I’m in a bad mood he always gets into one. So instead of being comforted and soothed, we get into in an unnecessary argument.

I freaking hate it. My mother did this to me growing up as well. It’s one of my pet peeves. My father kept his cool and treated me normally (the way it should be). I try telling him what I need from him when I’m like this and he claims he doesn’t know why my energy rubs off on him.
My God, why can’t people have their OWN emotions?! Is it immaturity? Is he an empath? Either way I’m annoyed…

How are you interacting with him once you are in a bad mood? Are you in a bad mood so often that it’s becoming that frequent of a problem? It is hard being around someone who’s fequently in a bad mood.

 

[hopeful]

My ex was the same. If I got sick, suddenly he was sick too. Could never muster up the energy to be comforting. It’s not normal to have to teach someone to provide comfort, to be kind when their girlfriend is down. Because your mom was like this you are more comfortable and patient with his behavior than you probably should be. Some people don’t have the capacity to be empathetic. It’s usually not personal. It’s just how they are.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

Whenever I’m in a bad mood he always gets into one. So instead of being comforted and soothed, we get into in an unnecessary argument.

I freaking hate it. My mother did this to me growing up as well. It’s one of my pet peeves. My father kept his cool and treated me normally (the way it should be). I try telling him what I need from him when I’m like this and he claims he doesn’t know why my energy rubs off on him.
My God, why can’t people have their OWN emotions?! Is it immaturity? Is he an empath? Either way I’m annoyed…

I realize now that I was also seeking healing from my relationship with my mother. The guys that I was dating mimic aspects from my childhood I hated, despised, and what hurt me. Therapy helped me, maybe it will help you too.

 

[Fine 4s]

He needs to take responsibility of his own happiness and emotions nor is it his responsibility to make you feel better. Leeda's question is interesting, are you unpleasant to be around a little too frequently? How to you behave? Maybe you can take some time to be alone, go for a walk, meditate etc. It's easier when you don't live together though. Is this what extreme co-dependence looks like?