What an inspiring and true article! Thanks OP! My baby is only 21 months, and I vowed before her birth that I would never put a relaxer or texturizer in her hair, which is type 4a. I know the thinning the chemicals caused me, my siblings, and women in my family, and I am raising her to have completely natural hair with no or very infrequent use of heat, which is how I care for my own hair. I totally agree that the key is low-to-no manipulation. Braids for little girls work so well! I braid my daughter's hair for weeks at a time also, and always comb gently and handle it with love & care, so that she knows her hair is a blessing--her crowning glory and not a nappy, disdainful curse. Children learn these things by the way they are treated.
I surely remember my mother yanking through my hair like she had an attitude, and soon after, I had a pressing comb to it, then a relaxer, complete with broken off hair and burns on the edges of my ears in some instances. Even while my hair was relaxed, and it was time for a touch-up, she'd yank through my hair wit her face frowned up at the NG like it was an ugly seed rearing it's head. This went on with each TU well into my 20's until I started doing my own TU's and not allowing her to get in my head. Since going natural a few years back, my hair is NOT hard to comb thru or manage.
I guess it was just hatred and disdain on her part for any hair that ain't straight, slick, and laid to the side. {shakes head} I WILL NOT PERPETUATE THAT MYTH THAT BLACK HAIR IN ITS NATURAL STATE IS UGLY, HARD TO MANAGE, NAPPY, OR MAKES PEOPLE LOOK "UNKEMPT" WITH MY DAUGHTER. IN FACT, I DEPLORE THE WORD, "NAPPY," though it doesn't bother me if other people use it (so long as it isn't in a negative way), but don't use it to describe my hair, or my daughter's hair, or in a negative connotation to any person of color's hair. It's like the word "Ni^^ER." It does nothing for the self-esteem of the individual, and everything about the word is usually negative. Fine to use to describe the kinkiest of hair in a triumphant, positive sense, if people choose to do so, but I say kinky or highly-textured hair. Not "nappy." It all goes back to the context/manner in which the word is being used.
That hair drama about "bad hair" stops in this family with me. No such thing as "bad hair," unless it is unhealthy, damaged hair. Then, even that can be turned around miraculously with the right techniques and products. Kudos to Ayoka and her beautiful daughter! This sister and Black hair love and adoration is what I so love to see!
ETA: I also disagree that relaxed hair is guaranteed to break off and NEVER grow long. I grew mine long, but it takes work and the right techniques and products. The majority is not the rule in that case.
She grew it to waist length KINKY.....I can only imagine how long it would be stretched.....wow.
