Minister ask church leaders to give up FB accounts
- Thread starter ThickHair
- Start date
I agree with you that the pastor was over-simplifying the issue, but the article said he required this ministry employees delete their FB accounts but only suggested (strongly) the same to other church members. If one feels called to work for church related ministries their lifestyle choices often become integrated with their jobs. IMO it would have been better for him to strongly suggest people examine their motives for their FB interactions and that would have been enough for most to take whatever action was necessary to act with integrity.
Not addressing you specifically MarcustheWu, I do feel that a lot of people hide issues in their lives because they are given the pat answer "just have self-control." Again, I don't believe that most people set out to be cheaters, most terrible issues like infidelity stem from a series of smaller bad choices and thoughts over time.
GodsPromises
The Credit Countess
Thank you thank you thank you
When I was married, we didn't have passwords to each other's anything: phone, email, facebook, etc. didn't need it didn't want it.
Either the trust is there or it's not.
When I was married, we didn't have passwords to each other's anything: phone, email, facebook, etc. didn't need it didn't want it.
Either the trust is there or it's not.
newslady
New Member
I kinda understand the minister's point.
If FB has been a problem for your marriage, then you can suggest deleting the account.
Although, if you really want to cheat FB isn't the only way to get the deed done.
I'm on FB. My husband isn't because he's just not a social person, in real life OR online. If he really wanted to see my account, I would let him. I don't discuss anything negative on FB and rarely mention my husband unless it's something positive. See...that's another way folks get messy. You complain about your spouse then an ex knows they have an "open door."
An old flame of mine sent me a friend request. He's married and so am I. So I just ignored it. We have absolutely NOTHING to discuss. He's messy and is just looking for an open door. Our relationship ended years AGO. We have NOTHING to discuss.
If FB has been a problem for your marriage, then you can suggest deleting the account.
Although, if you really want to cheat FB isn't the only way to get the deed done.
I'm on FB. My husband isn't because he's just not a social person, in real life OR online. If he really wanted to see my account, I would let him. I don't discuss anything negative on FB and rarely mention my husband unless it's something positive. See...that's another way folks get messy. You complain about your spouse then an ex knows they have an "open door."
An old flame of mine sent me a friend request. He's married and so am I. So I just ignored it. We have absolutely NOTHING to discuss. He's messy and is just looking for an open door. Our relationship ended years AGO. We have NOTHING to discuss.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Basically!
I'm not saying he can't see my page or whatever, but what does he need my password for? So he can go in and check my private messages and stuff all willy-nilly? That is not okay with me. I'm not your child, I'm your wife. You don't need to be checking up on what I'm doing.
IDK, maybe this is why I'm not married.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Like I stated earlier, very simple.
I'll admit, I'm notorious for remaining friends with ex-lovers, bfs, whatever. But I'm also single. I know that when you get married, certain things are no longer acceptable and I definitely wouldn't feel the need to keep in touch with an ex.
*Frisky*
Well-Known Member
I am on the fence about this. Yea we all know that cheating will go on regardless of FB but I see it as a pastor trying to protect his members which he is suppose to do. All this scandal that goes on in the churches with adultry, homosexuality,etc, he is just trying not to ad fuel to the fire. I think he should of went about it in more of a concerned way by just speaking on it and giving his opinion instead of demanding and giving ultimatums. Let folks decide for themselves if they feel if it is having a negative affect on their marriage.
alexstin
Well-Known Member
that's just it....if he had done that, then great..... but to demand ppl give up their acct because it's too much of a temptation for some means that he thinks what's best for him and his house is what's best for all...perfect set up for abuse
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hair_rehab
New Member
Although I understand his concern, I don't think it is his business to give married leaders an ultimatum to give up FB or resign from their positions. And is it just limited to FB or any social networking site?
ladysaraii
Well-Known Member
At the red, I can understand shutting them down if FB or similar sites has been a problem in the marriage. I do get the point about removing temptation (whoever made the cookie example was right) but if its not a temptation for me, I should be dictated to. If anything it should be a decision we make as a couple.
I'm agreeing here
GodsPromises
The Credit Countess
If I read this right, if you are on his ministry staff or work for the church then he demands you give it up. That means you (Alexstin) and I would have to give it up no matter what. That is crazy.
that's just it....if he had done that, then great..... but to demand ppl give up their acct because it's too much of a temptation for some means that he thinks what's best for him and his house is what's best for all...perfect set up for abuse
alexstin
Well-Known Member
GodsPromises
The Credit Countess
I really need the thanks button right now!
Exactly, too many people trying to do the job of Holy Spirit in others lives.
LovinLocks
Well-Known Member
Ahhh yaaa knowwwww, ummmm, errr aaaahh . . . FB, yeah . . .
I agree with what God's Promises said, it's not FB that's the problem, it's people's heart condition. For truly an inatimate entity such as FB can't "make" a body do anything . . . here's the thing . . .
to wrongdoing on some people's part. I have never been able to quite put my finger on it . . . but I have always looked to FB (MySpace, BlackPlants of the Internet) with suspect. I can not explain why especially since I believe myself to be relatively technologically "with it". Something just grabs my spirit about FB and such. I have had several accounts, deleted them (at least I hope they were, recently found one that wasn't) and have been using it, duh because of the piece about keeping in touch with family. It is NOT in my real name, and I endeavor to not include overly personal information. It is built around my budding hobby to paid hobby of making handcrafted soap. Oh, and steppin'. Many of the "friends" there are steppers. When I get married next year (wink, wink); after this discussion here, I will tell him about FB, ask his opinion, and willingly offer my P/W; oh and state there, "In a relationship/married" or whatever the stipulation is there.
I agree with what God's Promises said, it's not FB that's the problem, it's people's heart condition. For truly an inatimate entity such as FB can't "make" a body do anything . . . here's the thing . . .
It is OBVIOUSLY a serious catalyst 
to wrongdoing on some people's part. I have never been able to quite put my finger on it . . . but I have always looked to FB (MySpace, BlackPlants of the Internet) with suspect. I can not explain why especially since I believe myself to be relatively technologically "with it". Something just grabs my spirit about FB and such. I have had several accounts, deleted them (at least I hope they were, recently found one that wasn't) and have been using it, duh because of the piece about keeping in touch with family. It is NOT in my real name, and I endeavor to not include overly personal information. It is built around my budding hobby to paid hobby of making handcrafted soap. Oh, and steppin'. Many of the "friends" there are steppers. When I get married next year (wink, wink); after this discussion here, I will tell him about FB, ask his opinion, and willingly offer my P/W; oh and state there, "In a relationship/married" or whatever the stipulation is there.
nysister
Well-Known Member
I can definitely understand removing oneself from temptation, but I'm wondering if this should extend to email as well. Perhaps a cell phone? General postal correspondence? It can be said of many things and while it does really come down to personal accountablility and trust...
...I do truly feel that the one thing that Facebook has that can cause more temptation and trouble, isn't so much you looking up an ex or someone else that you might potentially cheat with, but rather them looking you up.
Some people in wanting to be diplomatic, will add a former friend as a friend even if they don't particularly want to know what's going on in their lives. It's a lot easier to interact with people that you normally wouldn't interact with on Facebook.
As for me, I've gotten rid of two personal FB pages (I'm just not that interested in what anyone else is doing) and 1 for business (It isn't the most effective way for me to gain visitors to my site.)
If giving up FB would lead to a better relationship, it seems like it's worth giving up.
...I do truly feel that the one thing that Facebook has that can cause more temptation and trouble, isn't so much you looking up an ex or someone else that you might potentially cheat with, but rather them looking you up.
Some people in wanting to be diplomatic, will add a former friend as a friend even if they don't particularly want to know what's going on in their lives. It's a lot easier to interact with people that you normally wouldn't interact with on Facebook.
As for me, I've gotten rid of two personal FB pages (I'm just not that interested in what anyone else is doing) and 1 for business (It isn't the most effective way for me to gain visitors to my site.)
If giving up FB would lead to a better relationship, it seems like it's worth giving up.
~Sparklingflame~
New Member
FB aint the devil. Dumb a**es who use FB cause devilishment on themselves.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Umm, did y'all here that this pastor was having 3 ways and 4 ways with his wife and other another couple?
Cedric Miller, New Jersey pastor who railed against Facebook, exposed as having had affair
Cedric Miller, New Jersey pastor who railed against Facebook, exposed as having had affair
I don't know why Rev Slip n Slide didn't think that mess would come out. Are people that stupid? Apparently so, what a donkey.Umm, did y'all here that this pastor was having 3 ways and 4 ways with his wife and other another couple?
Cedric Miller, New Jersey pastor who railed against Facebook, exposed as having had affair
ArrrBeee
Well-Known Member
Umm, did y'all here that this pastor was having 3 ways and 4 ways with his wife and other another couple?
Cedric Miller, New Jersey pastor who railed against Facebook, exposed as having had affair
Alright I'm done.
erplexed I got nothin for these folks.ETA: From the link the affair came out some years ago. Him and his wife were having group sex with another couple at the church:
If this scandal was resolved with his church already I can't say that he has no right to talk about Facebook, either his church has forgiven him and his wife for all that freakdeaky or they haven't lol..
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LifeafterLHCF
New Member
I hate people who are in these man made positions who think what they think is gold..if this so called pastor was real he would get to the root of thing which is the folks who cheated or had problems were whores from the jump and just used bc as a means to get where they wanted to go...facebook is fine its the people with malicious motives
qchelle
Well-Known Member
Solutions to dealing with ex-flames or people you don't want to deal with while on FB:
First things first:
Please review your privacy settings. Set them as you please. The recommended privacy setting is that only your friends can view your profile. However, lots of people set it so that friends AND people in your networks can view your profile. Also, you can block specific people from seeing specific things, like pictures, videos, wall posts, etc. For example: My mother and father are blocked from seeing my wall posts, status updates and things that I, and any of my friends, comment on. (My friends sometimes say some c/rude things...as do I...sometimes). Set your privacy settings however you want them
1. Someone has sent you a friend request. You realize you either a) don't know this person or b) don't want to associate with this person
Solution: Click 'Not Now' and they will not be able to view your profile if your privacy settings do not allow people who are not your friends to view it.
2. This person is consistent and keeps sending you friend requests that you keep 'Not Now'-ing. He realizes that he can message you. *You can still receive messages from non-friends* He keeps messaging you but you don't respond, but you still would like for him to leave you the phuck alone.
Solution: Go into your privacy settings and block this user by typing their name into the box and clicking 'block'. This user will no longer be able to contact you at all via FB, including message you nor be able to send friend requests. They will no longer be able to search for you.
*Yes, you can block people who aren't even your friends. So for those of you who are saying ex-flames can easily find you, not really (if their name on FB is their name IRL). What you can do is, seek them out first to make sure they are on FB, get the correct spelling of their name on FB, and block that person from even being able to search for you*
3. Say that you and your husband are browsing your FB page together just looking at all the cute pictures of you two that you have up. People keep saying 'hey!' via the chat feature. You two are very annoyed by these people. You're just trying to spend some quality FB time with hubby.
Solution: Click on the 'Chat' icon, and under 'Options' click 'Go Offline'. You will still be able to use all of FBs wonderful features sans chat. You and hubby are no longer being disturbed.
4. Also, lots of people don't use their real name on FB so people can't search for them in the first place. You could do this. But if you don't want to, utilizing the above features will make your FB life much more enjoyable
However, you can continue to blame FB for possible marital woes.
First things first:
Please review your privacy settings. Set them as you please. The recommended privacy setting is that only your friends can view your profile. However, lots of people set it so that friends AND people in your networks can view your profile. Also, you can block specific people from seeing specific things, like pictures, videos, wall posts, etc. For example: My mother and father are blocked from seeing my wall posts, status updates and things that I, and any of my friends, comment on. (My friends sometimes say some c/rude things...as do I...sometimes). Set your privacy settings however you want them
1. Someone has sent you a friend request. You realize you either a) don't know this person or b) don't want to associate with this person
Solution: Click 'Not Now' and they will not be able to view your profile if your privacy settings do not allow people who are not your friends to view it.
2. This person is consistent and keeps sending you friend requests that you keep 'Not Now'-ing. He realizes that he can message you. *You can still receive messages from non-friends* He keeps messaging you but you don't respond, but you still would like for him to leave you the phuck alone.
Solution: Go into your privacy settings and block this user by typing their name into the box and clicking 'block'. This user will no longer be able to contact you at all via FB, including message you nor be able to send friend requests. They will no longer be able to search for you.
*Yes, you can block people who aren't even your friends. So for those of you who are saying ex-flames can easily find you, not really (if their name on FB is their name IRL). What you can do is, seek them out first to make sure they are on FB, get the correct spelling of their name on FB, and block that person from even being able to search for you*
3. Say that you and your husband are browsing your FB page together just looking at all the cute pictures of you two that you have up. People keep saying 'hey!' via the chat feature. You two are very annoyed by these people. You're just trying to spend some quality FB time with hubby.
Solution: Click on the 'Chat' icon, and under 'Options' click 'Go Offline'. You will still be able to use all of FBs wonderful features sans chat. You and hubby are no longer being disturbed.
4. Also, lots of people don't use their real name on FB so people can't search for them in the first place. You could do this. But if you don't want to, utilizing the above features will make your FB life much more enjoyable
However, you can continue to blame FB for possible marital woes.
spelmanlocks
Well-Known Member
Umm, did y'all here that this pastor was having 3 ways and 4 ways with his wife and other another couple?
Cedric Miller, New Jersey pastor who railed against Facebook, exposed as having had affair
Ugh, he's the last person that needs to be talking about facebook with his nasty self. It's getting harder and harder to take a lot of these pastors seriously.
msbettyboop
Well-Known Member
when I was a kid, my mum used the say the devil is in serious trouble because people blamed everything on the devil instead of accepting responsibility for their actions and idiocy. If a guy gets drunk, gets in a car and drives himself into a tree, is it the devil that bought him the drink and helped him kick and drive his car? if a girl has sex without protection and gets knocked up, is it the devil that assisted her flaming loins to forget about condoms? If someone forgets to lock his apartment and then gets robbed, is it the devil that opened the door for the thieves? Pleaseee, that devil mess is BS. We are adults and should have self-control, honour and integrity. If you don't want trouble, don't play with trouble. If your relationship falls apart because of facebook, you probably shouldn't be together in the first place.
nappystorm
Well-Known Member
How do you get to freakin' at a Bible study?
How do you get to freakin' at a Bible study?
LOL gif of the month right here
I'm sayin, what kinda bible study was that??
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