So my my hubby's brother had the nerve to tell me, my expectations and standards for marriage are not realistic and that I need to lower them. So because my hubby got a wife who he knows is not going for him sliding in the home at 6 the next morning is not realistic expectations...huh? Oh...because he go out with friends and I expect him to not slide in the home the next day with the sun up is controlling...huh? Him chucking you the deuces because it's getting late is all my fault....huh? You can keep the he is a grown man yadda...yadda! How about you mind your damn business!
Mind Your Business!
- Thread starter syze6
- Start date
Bunnyhaslonghair
Ebonics Queen
Your husband needs to check him right away. He shouldn't even be saying anything to you of that nature IMO.
He has a gf but will date anyone else deemed a female.
Yep...let's just say their relationship is strained right now! LOL! I don't tell grown people what to do, but I have to have An understanding in what works for me. My hubby and I have to respect our household. We both know we can go out and hang with others but we are mindful of what is reasonable to end it. He feels that hubby being his brother it shouldn't matter, because he is his brother. So if he wants him to hang with him the time should not matter. I'm his wife not his mother. I told him he need not worry about what the hell I am to him! I don't need to hear about your other friend's wives who are cool with them hanging with you until 4, 5 and 6 in the morning. Mind your business!
Bunnyhaslonghair
Ebonics Queen
I'm glad he checked him!
What's crazy is no matter where he is or who he hanging with his girl is right there with him. Yet, you think my hubby supposed to be out chilling with you all hours with a wife at home. You better believe if his girl went out with her friends and came home at 5 or 6 he would be pisssed.
PureSilver
Well-Known Member
Reminds me of the time my SO mom told me i'm cooking too late, like how do you speak of our life like you know the semantics and intricacies of our relationship. MYOB
He was all in his feelings talking about he can't hang with his brother because he always have to go. Now...he don't got to go nowhere. He can hang until his heart is content....but he decides what is worth what. I see why they say married friends need married friends in their circle. There are some unmarried who will just not understand.
ItsMeLilLucky
NotLucky no mo' just blessed.
If he don't sit his narrow *** down somewhere 
The man is 48 and still hopping from woman to woman. Every time you look up he's talking about some new girl he met...so immature. You wouldn't even know he had a girlfriend.
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Evolving78
Well-Known Member
Exactly!
That man is coming home at a decent time is due to him doing he what he wants to do. He weighed the pros & cons. He needs to own that, and not have anybody thinking his wife is controlling him.
Now either he can't stand up for himself, and Is making his wife the scapegoat, or he really does have a problem with the time and won't speak up to his wife.
He is a grown man and he needs to own it. BIL would have known better.
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Evolving78
Well-Known Member
His brother needs to set him straight.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
How does she know what time ya'll eat? Where did she get the idea that it was a problem, and that she needed address it?
MissNina
Libra Girl
Or the brother just assumes her hubby doesn't like it Bc he states he needs to get home to his wife? Lol idk. The issue here is really the bro, but it is the husband's job to check his brother on how he approaches his wife.
I think it's kind of unrealistic to expect the ppl closest to you to not know SOME basic details about your life with your SO, esp if you communicate with them on a regular basis. An offhand comment saying you're prob tired Bc you've been eating at 9, being out w/ your bro and saying it's getting late and you need to get home to your wife, etc. Fam members run with the smallest of things if they have nothing better to do lol and some input can't be avoided, only confronted if it's out of line.
Mai Tai
Miss Nigeria-America
OP...I'm glad your husband checked his brother. Have you examined what sub-conscience things or types of body language your husband may be unknowingly putting out there that leads people to think that he is being controlled?
What I mean is...when he leaves from hanging out, does he do so begrudgingly like "(sigh) Hey man, it's 10:00 pm and you know what that means. Gotta go home." or happily like "Hey it's been real but I have a beautiful wife to go home to so I'll see you later."
I like to look at both sides of the coin because yes, your BIL is 100000% wrong for being bold and disrespectful enough to insert his standards into your marriage and I'm 99% sure he did so without being motivated by anything but his own selfishness, however, as a married couple, we have to be SUPER careful about not only what we say but how we say it as to not give the appearance of division.
What I mean is...when he leaves from hanging out, does he do so begrudgingly like "(sigh) Hey man, it's 10:00 pm and you know what that means. Gotta go home." or happily like "Hey it's been real but I have a beautiful wife to go home to so I'll see you later."
I like to look at both sides of the coin because yes, your BIL is 100000% wrong for being bold and disrespectful enough to insert his standards into your marriage and I'm 99% sure he did so without being motivated by anything but his own selfishness, however, as a married couple, we have to be SUPER careful about not only what we say but how we say it as to not give the appearance of division.
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