Does mom really know best?

[~Sparklingflame~]

Humph.

Sometimes you gotta concider the source of your advice. The mom said she lets her DH not call her for DAYS t a time b/c hes truck driver? How bout hayl no. My man drives around all day for his job and he calls me all day long and he isnt going across state lines. Please.

It a matter of courtesy for him to just drop a line and say, "Babe Im going to get a drink with the boys for a couple hours I'll be back." Problem solved. I dont understand what the big deal is. Its not like shes trying to control him ( from what I gather). If her wanting to know where her husband is is going to drive him away then hes very immature IMO and Mom is not a great person to be taking advise from.

 

[MD_Lady]

Sorry, but any time I see this phrase

...She was telling her mom that in this day anything can happen and she doesn't like thinking he's one place when he is not.The mom basically told her to stop treating him as a child and men are like that. She told her she has to let him be a man and have an outlet. She went on about how my friends dad is a truck driver and will be gone for days without a peep from him. SHe went on about drivign a man way yadda yadda. I'm thinking what's wrong with him calling her just to say he's stopping off. Sometimes I think mothers contribute to therir daughters overlooking things. If it were me, I would like a courtesy call out of respect...

I automatically . Why does EVERYTHING have to be about "manhood". When I leave my house, I let my husband know where I'm going and if my plan changes and he does the same for me (my father also does this with my mother and vice versa). For us, it's about courteousy and saftey and no one feels as though their man/womanhood is being compromised as a result. It sounds like the two of them had a break down in communication and need to discuss what they expect from one another.

BTW, I do realize that the issue is whether her husband should have made her aware of a change in plans after leaving work, not letting her know where he's going when he's leaving the house. My point is that one person's "keeping tabs" is another's gesture of courteousy and respect. Couples need to decide what works best for them.

 

[Storyteller]

I think people are missing what the friend was upset about. It wasn't the fact that he was out with friends; but that he wasn't considering his wife when he left work early and went to hang with the boys. To me he was the one who overreacted with that whole "restrictions" thing. She wasn't stopping him from doing something, if anything she was encouraging him to do something which was give her simple heads up.

Now the fact that he did all of this with the knowledge of the days schedule was just triflin'. I bet if they had a scheduled booty call he would've brought his behind straight home.

I could see why the mom thought a call was unnecessary; she barely sees her man as it is. (Doesn't make it right though )

As for me and mine, we are always texting throughout the day and if we're with friends we always let each other know if something changes. Not because of "rules or restrictions" but out of common courtesy.

 

[FAMUDva]

I trust my dh.There are times he will call me and there are times when he gets home he will tell me about it after the fact.I learned not to trip about the small stuff and that is small to me.
Now not coming home for days = divorce.

@ the bolded! There are bigger things to be pissed about. I mean, he probably was coming home at his normal time. I've learned not to expect that my husband will have the same sensibilities as me with everything... example: woman decides to come straight home and get started on movigng stuff... man may decide, I'll make sure it's moved even if I'm up til midnight doing so. The end result is everything is moved before the delivery gets there, so why does it matter when he helped to move it.

I've certainly learned 1 golden rule in our marriage and it's definitely don't sweat the small stuff.

ETA: I read both the original & the second post and I still think she's sweating the wrong thing. If I thought he was being lazy, I would've stopped moving stuff as soon as I found out he was chilling with the boys and left the rest for him to finish when he got there. Problem solved... He ends up meeting her end goal; furinture moved by HIM for the next day's delivery. Nothing to get the pressure up for... Unless his behind stayed out for an unreasonable disrespectful amount of time.