Men & Texting

FtrDrO

FtrDrO

New Member
So I've been noticing something interesting recently. It seems that more men are choosing to use text messaging as the avenue of communication and don't think to pick up the phone. WTH is that about?? I've had a couple of men that have asked for my number and I have given it to, only text me. Granted, some of them may do this every day. But if I've never spoken to you on the phone, how do you really expect for me to have a serious discussion about meeting up with you on a date??....I'm sorry but that just doesn't make sense to me. I personally don't think I should suggest talking on the phone or initiate the first phone call either especially if you're doing this for a week or more without the thought. IMO men are simply getting lazier.

Has anyone else noticed this ridiculousness? Thoughts? How do you handle this seemingly new trend?
 
I have definitely noticed that men of all ages -- including men who came of age when texting was not an option and who should thus know better -- have turned to texting. I dislike it very much and I downgrade men who text more than they call.
 
This is one of my top dating pet peeves......texting is cool once we're in a relationship, but don't try to get to know me by texting.:nono:
 
I hate when guys use texting as a primary way of communicating. I met a guy a few years ago & we texted for a few days. I didn't really take him serious since he never called. Well, one day we are texting & his "style" was a little off. Then I get a text that it was really his girlfriend & he had left his phone at home. I didn't know he had a girlfriend & I text her letting her know.
Moral of the story: sometimes you don't know who you are really texting. Now I prefer to talk on the phone & only text a guy when absolutely necessary.

BTW: Dude text me the day after trying to pick up where he left off :-/
I never ever answered him again.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
I hate it! It irks me to NO end. Some ppl I dont mind texting all the time but if we are (him and I) are getting to know each other, dating, etc. I want to hear words.
 
It's convenient and a lot of men just don't like talking on the phone. It also allows for a little more boldness that they might not express in a conversation.

They can't have a text convo without having someone to text back so I just don't respond if I want a phone call and let them know that up front.
 
Relying on a method of communication that makes it difficult to establish your tone is BAD idea when you're getting to know someone. :nono: I agree 100% with you FtrDrO, but I would tell them that I don't communicate via text.
 
Yep I realized it too which is why I started a thread a few months ago asking the same thing. Fortunatley the guy I am seeing now dislikes texting and refuses to text anyone. He prefers to pick up the phone and have two hour phone conversations with me.
 
I could write a book on this subject.

It gets on my ****** nerves. I've had grown men text me to death and never once pick up the phone to call during the "getting to know you" stage and I'm like "are you serious"?

If I ever meet someone new again (it's been awhile :look:) I'm gonna be more vigilant about this than I have in the past, because it really is out of control.
 
Y'all are making me feel bad....

I can't necessarily be mad at him because, I started it. I have never really been into talking on the phone, its just annoying. I actually prefer to face to face conversation. But we can kind of text over the course of the day and the conversation never ends. When we do get together, we talk for hours on end. maybe its just me...
 
daydreem2876 said:
Y'all are making me feel bad....

I can't necessarily be mad at him because, I started it. I have never really been into talking on the phone, its just annoying. I actually prefer to face to face conversation. But we can kind of text over the course of the day and the conversation never ends. When we do get together, we talk for hours on end. maybe its just me...
Click to expand...

If you're cool with it and that's what you prefer, no need to feel bad.

I think most of us who replied that it bothers us prefer to have an actual conversation. IMO, the whole texting throughout the day thing is cool once you've established some kind of relationship with that person, but in the beginning stages, it's lazy and not an effective way for 2 adults to get to know each other.

It also makes me wonder what you have going on that you can't pick up the phone and talk to me.
 
It is a problem but I dont think there is anything wrong with requesting them to call you first before you go on a date. Its easy to assume men "know better" but I've noticed with ALL men that they tend to take the most convenient and least resistent road. Texting offers that convenience.

But if you say (without an attitude), "Hey, I'd like to hear your voice instead of all this texting" if he really likes you, he'll call.

I think women tend to forget that men just dont think like we think. It doesnt mean they are intentionally being disrespectful, they just figure its ok or tolerant until you kindly point of that you prefer something else.

I mean we are in an age where FB, Twitter, texting, iPads, and every other Web 2.0 technology allows us to connect to people without picking up a phone. So its a sign of the times, not the character of the man. :look:
 
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prettyfaceANB said:
It is a problem but I dont think there is anything wrong with requesting them to call you first before you go on a date. Its easy to assume men "know better" but I've noticed with ALL men that they tend to take the most convenient and least resistent road. Texting offers that convenience.

But if you say (without an attitude), "Hey, I'd like to hear your voice instead of all this texting" if he really likes you, he'll call.

I think women tend to forget that men just dont think like we think. It doesnt mean they are intentionally being disrespectful, they just figure its ok until you kindly point of that you prefer something else.
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You're right.

I did this with the last guy I met. He called the next day. Then went right back to texting. :rolleyes:

I took that to mean he wasn't THAT interested and stopped wasting my time.
 
Seriously, this is probably one of my biggest pet peeves..I absolutely hate it with a passion..Ive tried to be patient, but I cant do it..Its just being lazy in my opinion..You sitting on the couch texting, when you could be talking to me on the phone. It blurs the line of communication..You cant determine my tone of voice, if Im being sarcastic or playful or anything..Im notorious for asking them if they are busy, and if they say no...I'll dial that number..Imma make you talk, fool!
I cant coach men into taking the iniative and calling me...If we start off texting and we dont make that transition into phone calls, then Im done.."What you doing" and "LOL" can only go so far..You can never get to know me that way and in my mind, you not really trying to..
 
Personally, I think men who text only especially in the beginning are not that interested in getting to know you. This is just my experience, but they usually just want sex or to have a good time.
 
ThickHair said:
Yuck and double yuck.
Click to expand...

Yeah and you wanna know the funny thing? We were talking to each other regularly while we were sitting at the bar. I mean, he was funny, attractive, had very good convo. He came up to me sat down, etc. After we went our separate ways he's texts me to make sure I'm home safely and then he texts me to go out on a date. Why the heck would you do that if you know the convo went great :ohwell::perplexed:nono:?

I don't know if maybe it was the liquor that helped him eased himself or what, but I was sooooooo turned off.
 
Smh @ some of these stories. It really is sad. Even Enitan Bereola, the author of Berolaesque, (If you haven't heard about him, look him up. Great man!) has noticed this trend and talks about it often in some of his tweets and articles. If only more men would read his book and follow some of his advice....but I digress. A couple of quotes from him that I thought I'd share.

From the article "Communication killed assumption"

THIS JUST IN: Text messaging has been arrested in the attempted murder of effective communication. Text tried to kill real conversation. If all he does is send you words over a mobile device, it isn’t a real relationship. Oral communication is an intimate act so if a man goes as far as reaching out to pick up a phone and call or wants to talk a lady in person, he’s definitely interested.
Click to expand...


From Soul'd a Dream
It’s far too obvious to state that texting while driving is dangerous, but what about texting while dating? Society seems to be obsessed with quick and convenient conversation. Real relationships are hard to come by nowadays. You have to send a BBM (BlackBerry Messenger) request before you can say hi.
Click to expand...


"To build relationships on text messages is to build a bridge on ice ... the foundation isn’t strong enough 2 sustain when the heat is on."

"Text messaging isn't a relationship ... ya'll are just pen-pals."

"Someone who ONLY text messages you is often a sign of someone who isn't 100% interested in you."

"Texting isn't courting"

"Relationships require effort ... texting is effortless."

"You should make phone calls as oppose to texting, have open communication with a woman, pay on a date and actually go on a date," he says
 
Men have been pulling this trap for several years now and it gets worse with each passing year.

If I were on the dating scene right now i'd choose not to entertain it. I am not a fan of texting so if you want to get to know me, miss me with that mess:nono:
 
I don't respond to texts from guys when we're still getting to know each other or just dating. Got tired of it. If they're really into me, they'll call. I prefer phone or in person conversations.
 
Texting 'me' anything away from a casual "hope you're having a great day" type of text is completely unacceptable! I'm not having it, period. :nono:
 
I used to feel strongly about this until recently. Basically I'm not interested in having long phone conversations. Those can be a big waste in their own right. I would rather talk in person to get to know someone and have them get to know me. So unless this person is long distance, for me real conversations should be face to face, meaning texting is fine so long as it's just trivial stuff.
 
OP... I just want to say...Bless you. Judging from the time that you posted, We must be kindreds...I was definitely near tears feeling like men just don't get it, and I ain't teachin' a boy how to be a man.

Anywho...I think that technology has led to the decline of social skills. And that's making a long answer short.
 
Oh... and I also wanted to say this. Next time this happens...try asking him about it. Maybe he'll start calling...or maybe he'll stop texting...and you'll never hear from him again. Can't lose.
 
they way how women run their mouths, if i was a man, i would text too. sorry if i stepped on anyone's toes.

but seriously, if a guy is really interested he will pick up the phone. (not dating)my marriage was built on emails and text messages. it was how my husband communicated. he was younger than me.
 
i don't have a problem with it.... phone calls annoy me and i generally avoid the phone as much as possible... even at work - i'd rather send an email than pick up the phone...

now if i get to really like communicating with someone via text, then i'm cool with the phone... but i'm still not looking to have marathon sessions - i've got stuff to do and i can't do that if i'm tied to a phone....
 
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