Men Eager to Meet The Parents

[SvelteVelvet]

What say you of this?

I think I'm noticing a pattern with this, but I just want to see if it's just me.

Meeting my family isn't something I take lightly. It could be just me but in a perfect world the only man my family would meet would be my husband. They did know and become close with one serious boyfriend I had. The others weren't worthy. Of course I'd be suspicious of a guy that didn't want to meet my parents, he'd get the boot. But what if a guy after only a week or so of you dating is eager to meet your family?

Do you just bring any man you are dating around your family right away? Or do you have a certain time frame? For me, I believe at least 3 months of getting to know each other to have a better idea of where it's going is needed.

How bout you?

 

[yvette]

I try to avoid bringing anyone to meet my mother, she's so critical.

Also, if I wanted the man to meet my family it would have to be someone that I have dated at least 6 months.

 

[Dee-Licious]

Depends on the relationship and the event.

Say that the two are in a recent exclusive relationship and one of the family's is having an annual gathering.... I think they should go. I don't see a reason not to. Arranging a dinner for him to meet the parents after 2 weeks I don't see-so-much as being reasonable.

A man that wants to meet your folks wants to see where you came from and how you interact with your own parents b/c that says a lot about you.



so what's your theory on the men?

 

[SvelteVelvet]

Depends on the relationship and the event.

Say that the two are in a recent exclusive relationship and one of the family's is having an annual gathering.... I think they should go. I don't see a reason not to. Arranging a dinner for him to meet the parents after 2 weeks I don't see-so-much as being reasonable.

A man that wants to meet your folks wants to see where you came from and how you interact with your own parents b/c that says a lot about you.



so what's your theory on the men?

At the bolded, I can totally understand that.

As far as my theory, welp, it seems kinda 'out there' to me but there were two men who were just so hell bent on meeting my family right right away. One, he actually had a mutual friend show him where I lived and he just popped out at my house and rang the doorbell asking my mother where I was. OH. MY. GOD..I wanted to woop his tail for that. We were only dating for a month. He gave me no choice but to introduce him to them. This guy came from a broken home, foster care, zero family structure.

Second guy, after a week kept asking me when I was gonna bring him to meet my parents, calling us "secret lovers' because they haven't met him. He had brought me around his family and friends. His background wasn't as bad as the first guy, but he had/has very little family structure growing up, dad in prison, close to his mom but seemingly having more of a friendship than mother/son relationship which is ok.

Well..the second guy didn't get to meet my parents and I'm glad. They were both possessive/controlling/manipulative men and the similarities with the eagerness to meet my parents made me wonder if they were not just looking for a woman but for the family they didn't have as well.

I tell them about my family when they ask and it's nice to know theirs too it gives you a glimpse into who they are, but the pressure and the eagerness is what makes me feel like.."What's this really about?"

 

[antisocial]

I don't have a specific time frame but if I feel that I don't know you like that to be bringing you around my family then you are not invited. Most men with a little bit of commen sense don't really press the issue.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

I don't have a specific time frame but if I feel that I don't know you like that to be bringing you around my family then you are not invited. Most men with a little bit of commen sense don't really press the issue.

Exactly. Common sense. The first guy did not understand my frustration that he did not allow me the proper time for me to decide when he will meet MY parents. He totally didn't get it, and looked at me crazy for being upset. Just no 'home training'.

 

[NaturallyBlonde]

I have the opposite problem. My mom is always like well when do we get to meet so-and-so? I'm like DANG can I get to know him a little more myself before I subject him to yall?

I bring them around my family when I have a good feeling they will be around for awhile. At least 3-4 months in.

 

[ThickHair]

Wow, my mother knew my exhusband since he was a kid so that was no biggie. My mother has only met 1 man I have dated since my divorce. It was Christmas though. My current SO, I met his parents after 3 weeks, he has yet to meet my mother. He will meet my sister on Easter at church.

 

[dlewis]

I think a couple of months. For me once I got to the point of a sexual relationship it's time to meet the parents.

 

[Ramya]

Do you just bring any man you are dating around your family right away?

Well since I court it's a bit different. I am usually friends first with a man so he is introduced to my parents as a friend and I to his parents as a friend early on. My parents have met all of my friends and I have met and/or spoken with all my friends' parents. As a friendship naturally progresses, we will see more and more of each other's parents. They get to know him while I am getting to know him so that if and when he asks for permission to court me, they can assess his character from previous encounters, not just the opinion of their love struck daughter/granddaughter.