Married women and masturbation

[calmsensual1]

I like to masturbate because theres things a toy can do for me that no one will ever be able to do. Unfortunately, I can't orgasm through regular conventional sex/oral.

But, I'm married, and with that comes less privacy. So how do you women deal with this? Do you masturbate in front of him? When he's not around? Do you keep it a secret?

As of now, I'm keeping it secret. He knows I do it and I tell him about it, but doing it in front of him is weird. It just sucks though because the one time I come home from work and want to masturbate right away, HE gotta be off work too. *sigh*

 

[Evolving78]

can you go in the bathroom? turn the shower or tub on to drown out the noise?

 

[RocStar]

Umm, ok....wow. That may be TMI.

 

[Evolving78]

RocStar

QUOTE=RocStar;15647157]Umm, ok....wow. That may be TMI.[/QUOTE]

we are family here, nothing wrong with sharing! it keeps it from getting bored around here. now help a sista out!

 

[God_Favor]

Yeah, I think the shower is your best bet.

 

[RocStar]

we are family here, nothing wrong with sharing! it keeps it from getting bored around here. now help a sista out!

shortdub78

Ha ha. Ok, maybe you are right. I am not married, so I have nothing of value to add to this thread.

 

[My Friend]

When he's at work Send him to the store Send him to so and so's house to pick up something Tell him to get a second job

 

[vevster]

Umm, ok....wow. That may be TMI.

Uh no it's not. RocStar

 

[runwaydream]

When he's at work Send him to the store Send him to so and so's house to pick up something Tell him to get a second job

Lmao at "get a second job"

 

[Raspberry]

So there's nothing your husband can do to satisfy you sexually? That seems like a problem.. hopefully other married ladies have some solid advice for you..

 

[LongTimeComing]

Some men enjoy watching their women with toys. And then they enjoy the effects afterwards...

 

[meesch]

I like to masturbate because theres things a toy can do for me that no one will ever be able to do. Unfortunately, I can't orgasm through regular conventional sex/oral.

But, I'm married, and with that comes less privacy. So how do you women deal with this? Do you masturbate in front of him? When he's not around? Do you keep it a secret?

As of now, I'm keeping it secret. He knows I do it and I tell him about it, but doing it in front of him is weird. It just sucks though because the one time I come home from work and want to masturbate right away, HE gotta be off work too. *sigh*

if for some reason i could only get off from masturbating with sex toys, the masturbation would become part of sex with my husband.

 

[meesch]

oh wait, im not married, i guess never mind my post

 

[OhTall1]

Tell him to get a second job

I laughed so hard that I couldn't breathe!

But seriously, don't they say that using sex toys too often can make it impossible for you to make it to O-town without them? Would laying off of them help?

 

[PinkPeony]

So you never climax during intercourse or foreplay?
Masturbation definitely can help you to understand what you like so keep exploring.

To solve your problem send him on errands but eventually he should give you a hand

 

[kweenameena]

I say do it in front of him or have him use the toy on you.

But here's another thought....lay off the toy for awhile. Your body has come to expect the intensity of the toy in order to climax. Maybe you can retrain your body to climax with your husbands touch. But he can't compete with a toy.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

I masturbate when my husband is home or away doesn't matter. He likes to do it for me (which is good if I'm kinda tired) or we'll take turns, he'll start, I'll take over or vice versa, or while he's "in" me. If he wants a quickie and I didn't get off (Sometimes men just want that quickie when we want a session...it happens), I'll finish up after he falls asleep--I feel so naughty---or if he is out of town & I'm missing him I will....But he tends to want to join if he catches me....We make it fun.

 

[deltagyrl]

Dang, oral doesn't seal the deal?
Do you even get close?

You should teach him how to please you.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

I say do it in front of him or have him use the toy on you.

But here's another thought....lay off the toy for awhile. Your body has come to expect the intensity of the toy in order to climax. Maybe you can retrain your body to climax with your husbands touch. But he can't compete with a toy.

This is true. I got a toy at the advice of a friend and in a week, poor hubby had to work harder to get me off. He found the toy and had a fit (jealous...haha)....but eventually I got rid of the toy and things went well again. Then a few months later I got something less intense but ran the batteries out (it was a 6.00 cheapie...Dont't judge me)....I bought it b/c me and my homegirls were there getting some stuff with our friend for her wedding night....
ANYHOO, no a good toy is INTENSE girl...Men can't compete so you SHOULD back off for a while, and may be bring it out very occasionally. Don't use it more than 1-2 days in a row and put it away for a month or so so you are not "insensitive or non-responsive" to hubby.

 

[classoohfive]

These comments either have me or


Anyway, when you say "conventional sex" do you mean just penetration alone? Even for women who don't use sex toys, a lot of women need more stimulation to get off. It's suggested to add more foreplay and try certain positions that help stimulate the areas that you personally enjoy. You'd have to Google that on your own because I know where this thread is heading, lol.

People with happy sex lives still masturbate for a variety of reasons so I don't think you have to keep it a secret. Sometimes you want alone time, sometimes you want help. Sometimes alone time is enough, sometimes you need that extra that having another person around brings. Sometimes you're in the mood but too tired to go all out. *shrug* You don't have to make a big announcement before you do it, lol, but I don't see why you can't just ask for privacy. I hate going in the bathroom because I like to relax but I will say that there are underwater/waterproof ones if you want to save time on cleanup and shower/bathe too.

In addition to adding some foreplay and trying different positions, you could ask him if he wanted to help you out with the toys.


Oh, and I don't do it in front of him unless it's foreplay because then he'll want to help and unless I'm really tired, 99% of the time that helping turns into

 

[MD_Lady]

But how can it be a secret if he knows you do it? If you're saying that you prefer to do it alone instead of in front of him, I don't think that (in and of itself) is a bad thing (as being married doesn't mean everybody is going to be game for doing anything and everything with their spouse). For me, the question is whether you feel comfortable having an open and honest discussion with your DH about your likes and dislikes. For instance, have you told him that he hasn't (up until this point) brought you to orgasm?

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

OMG I thought about making a thread about this but not about privacy, just in general lol.
Cant type in here now, no privacy .

 

[gabulldawg]

I like to masturbate because theres things a toy can do for me that no one will ever be able to do. Unfortunately, I can't orgasm through regular conventional sex/oral.

But, I'm married, and with that comes less privacy. So how do you women deal with this? Do you masturbate in front of him? When he's not around? Do you keep it a secret?

As of now, I'm keeping it secret. He knows I do it and I tell him about it, but doing it in front of him is weird. It just sucks though because the one time I come home from work and want to masturbate right away, HE gotta be off work too. *sigh*

I appreciate your honesty. This was actually a concern I had before I got married, but once we moved in together I just stopped. Don't know if that's normal or not, but I'm good with just the sex. Haven't had a desire to do it. I guess it's because he's usually around when I want it.

In terms of suggestions, do you guys have time apart while int he house together? I know there are times when DH is watching TV downstairs and I'm upstairs. If you guys do things like that then that would be the perfect time for you to get down. Or does your husband have a hobby? My DH plays video games and that can keep him occupied for a couple hours. That would be a good time to get in your me time.

 

[gabulldawg]

OMG I thought about making a thread about this but not about privacy, just in general lol.
Cant type in here now, no privacy .

Well let's just make this the masturbation thread, then. What were you going to talk about?

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

I was just going to ask generally about the topic of masturbation while married lol. Like is that kosher or normal?
I don't use toys so privacy isn't an issue for me lol. I would be hella paranoid though if I did. I'm afraid toys will make me loose .
I've never been able to finish from sex itself, ever... I have a friend who's a few years older than me and she thinks it's nuts. She always orgasms from sex with her husband. That's like another universe to me...

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

I have to have pretty direct and consistent stimulation of my ahem sensitive spot to orgasm. This just does not occur during sex. I would have to do it myself during the act and I just idk haven't been uninhibited enough for that as yet...

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

Some men enjoy watching their women with toys. And then they enjoy the effects afterwards...

I have the distinct feeling my husband would be jealous of a large phallic looking toy .

 

[mzcris]

Well how about you let him join you...meaning you guys mutual do this together. It could just be exciting and add something new to your love making as a married couple.

I know you mentioned doing it in front of him is weird but if you do it as a partnership it just may be fun and more enjoyable.

Hope I helped some

 

[Anakinsmomma]

Well, I don't use toys, I do it manually So that helps with the competition part of it. Sometimes I just do it while DH is out, while he's sleep (we have a temperpedic so the shaking usually doesn't wake him) or we do it together as foreplay (or when I'm just lazy and don't feel like the full Monty). We also work opposite shifts, so I do have more me time than the average.