Married Ladies! Mistakes made while dating your current Husband

Giselle685

Giselle685

New Member
This thread is primarily for married ladies to tell about little dating slip ups made that made them nervous that their relationship wouldn't last.

However, I am really interested in ladies with long term SO's as well! I am wondering what kind of slip ups you made while going out on exclusive dates with your man that may have had him running for the hills if he didn't really like you.

Example: Did you call one to many times? Did you send a freakout text message? Did you talk about another man? Were you terrible about balancing your time?


Everyone knows you didn't do everything right! So lets laugh and reminisce since there was a "happy ending"!
 
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Hmmm it sure wasn't the sex:lol: But I was quite (and still am to some degree)

I think it would be that I'm really not all that affectionate. I hate holding hands and I do not like PDA. With him I allow it, though I don't allow the booty grabs:nono:


The other thing is I do not like sharing food. Its nothing to do with him, its because I'm the youngest of 5 and growing up, my siblings would lick their hand and put their hand in my food:ohwell:

Out to dinner once I kinda well.... I went there. It wasn't very pretty. He to this day does not really get that but, he respects my feelings on it.



-A
 
when out on dates with dh, I didn't nip guys in the bud who flirted with me while with dh...instead...I encouraged it without realizing it.
 
Some folks made colossal mistakes when dating their now husband or current so's . I've always wondered how they ended up together .
 
OT
Dammit Arcadian How am I supposed to pay attention to what you type when you have that big arse delicious cake in your siggy :lachen:
 
Being too invested in him. He admitted that it seemed like I was smothering him at times. I never was one to have a lot of friends, so it wasn't as if I was giving up my time with them to hang out with him.

But whenever I did go to my own apartment just to have time to myself, this fool would follow. I guess his issue was that I made it too easy for him. He wanted to be able to pursue me every now and then.
 
Now that I think about it, I wasn't very affectionate or talkative while dating. Most revolved around him asking questions and me answering and often just eating in silence. I do wonder what was interesting about me then. I know as of now I would never date someone like the before me.
 
I was very aloof while initially dating. I was getting out of a terrible break up and wasn't ready to get my heart broken again. :nono: It took me a long time to even kiss him! :lol: Well, according to him. Now that we talk about it he said that he almost walked away because he thought I was trying to put him into the friend category. :ohwell: Glad he didn't walk away.
 
I was really immature and dumb when hubby and I first got together.

Like someone previously admitted, I also unintentionally led guys on.

I wasn't very good at sharing my feelings, so if I got mad, I would just ignore him until he broke the silence. Then, after 1000 "what's wrongs?" I would reluctantly talk about how I was feeling.

I sometimes also made the mistake of bringing up my... ahem... past. :look:

Saying things like "Don't worry, I've done this before." while in the act.

How is that supposed to make him feel better?! :lachen:

I'm glad he stuck with my stupid self. :lol:
 
With my SO he says:

- My time keeping or lack there of (I had a problem y'all)

- I was quite independent and demanding i.e. I wanted things done my way or no way and I played the strong black woman like I didn't need him when he was trying to be a man and romance me.

- He thought I was a player cos I was quiet flirtatious with other guys (I was just being friendly)
 
My biggest mistake in our early relationship was mistaking kindness for weakness. My DH is and always has been a gentleman, extremely sincere, and NICE. Since I was only used to dating immature, foolish, wanna-be "playas", I had the tendency to believe that all men were running game. It was almost like I was trying to punish him for every stupid thing that was done to me by an ex. Once my NICE DH put me in check, I could sit down somewhere and act like I had some sense!
 
We dated for a short period of time before getting married, but I can say that one of my mistakes was being selfish and high maintenance. He would fly to come see me on the weekends and sometimes I would be down and ready to see him. Other weekends I would want him to go after day 1 (knowing he planned to stay the entire weekend).

I wouldn't tell him that I was tired of him, but I would leave him at my house and be gone all afternoon not thinking about him or what he wanted to do that day. He wouldn't say or do anything to address it, he would just be there chilling and have something set up for when I returned. Then I would feel bad. Growing up as an only child, sometimes I tend to be very self-centered and selfish, especially with my space/home. It takes a special guy to see past this, so he obviously could.

Looking back, I wasn't ever tired of him, but just felt like him being there was too close for comfort at times.

I also wouldn't tell my other guy friends to stop calling while he was around. They would just call and call and when he would ask me if/when will they stop, I would tell him when he decides they will. So one day, he just grew tired and starting answering the phone and telling them to stop calling his "girl's" house. A couple of them stopped and a few others would call during the week and be like "WTF is that?", of which I had to explain that wasn't interested in talking with them anymore.

Dang, looking back on things, I gave him a really hard time and I know many dudes I messed with would have been or were like "deuces".
 
^^^ This is so me. especially the part about being selfish and an only child. I never saw anything wrong until he listed how selfish I have been during our relationship. Now i'm on a mission to make amends.
 
Not making him buy more flowers... this rice cracker rarely buys them and when he does they aren't roses. Ugh.

Naw but probably talking too much. He says I still do that.
 
I made a lot of mistakes being that i went from high school with hardly no relationship experience to being in a serious relationship my first year of college. Three of the biggest ones were...

1.Not knowing how to handle other guys when they came around.

2. Doing things in the begining of the relationship that he liked and then stopped completely.

3. Not communicating when I didn't understand him or I felt he didn't understand me

Now we have been together for 11 years, married for 9 so you live and learn. As long as you learn.
 
-PYT said:
^^^ This is so me. especially the part about being selfish and an only child. I never saw anything wrong until he listed how selfish I have been during our relationship. Now i'm on a mission to make amends.
Click to expand...

PYT

Yeah, I've done the same and still work hard at making sure I'm self-less instead of selfish. It's hard at times, but the more I put it at the forefront the more it becomes easier for me to do without thinking about it.
 
Thanks ladies, for keeping this thread going! I think this leaves people at ease while they are dating, to know if a person is for you, they are FOR you.. no mistake can push them away permanently.
 
Having unprotected sex. A lot of coupled do this after dating for a while ( of course nobody would admit that here). Bottom line is, it's a really bad idea and I would never do it again.
 
I've had a few slip ups and my DH still stuck by my side. I remeber he complained because I called too much. I didn't think it was all that much but he later said that I called too much, too soon? Eventually he was the one calling me a lot, and chasing me so I guess me doing less chasing made him chase me more.

I've lied to him on a few occasions to cover my tracks. I learned quick with that one. We are doing really well, married since July, but together for a year and 3 months.
 
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