WYSIWYG
Well-Known Member
I'll chime in. (clocking in at 26 years married)
Anything worthwhile is "work" but work isn't always a negative thing or drudgery. There's "digging ditches in the Texas summer" level work but there's also "decorating a gourmet cake for your best friend's birthday party" level work. My marriage is the latter 95 percent of the time. Some parts take more effort than others, but it's enjoyable as a whole. The 5 percent that's "ditch digging" level work is usually inflicted on us by outside forces, which gives us an "us against the world" attitude. When times are tough, it's good to be on a strong team.
My definition of "work" when it comes to marriage is mindfulness + intention + forward motion. If you're not mindful, you risk not knowing yourself or your partner. If you lack intention, your decisions will lack purpose, which makes you both vulnerable to the influence of outside forces (other people). If there's no forward motion, you're living in stagnation, which is a slow death for any relationship. I enjoy this kind of work. We learn from each other and have some bomb-arse sex as a bonus.
Marriage isn't much fun for the selfish, the insecure or the lazy. They tend to quit early or live in misery until they die, without having learned a damned thing in the process.
Anything worthwhile is "work" but work isn't always a negative thing or drudgery. There's "digging ditches in the Texas summer" level work but there's also "decorating a gourmet cake for your best friend's birthday party" level work. My marriage is the latter 95 percent of the time. Some parts take more effort than others, but it's enjoyable as a whole. The 5 percent that's "ditch digging" level work is usually inflicted on us by outside forces, which gives us an "us against the world" attitude. When times are tough, it's good to be on a strong team.
My definition of "work" when it comes to marriage is mindfulness + intention + forward motion. If you're not mindful, you risk not knowing yourself or your partner. If you lack intention, your decisions will lack purpose, which makes you both vulnerable to the influence of outside forces (other people). If there's no forward motion, you're living in stagnation, which is a slow death for any relationship. I enjoy this kind of work. We learn from each other and have some bomb-arse sex as a bonus.
Marriage isn't much fun for the selfish, the insecure or the lazy. They tend to quit early or live in misery until they die, without having learned a damned thing in the process.
