Making your HUSBAND take annual STD tests?

[Glib Gurl]

I was talking with my hair dresser and she was saying how she and her husband (at her behest) get HIV/AIDS tests annually. He isn't a fan but he does it.

What do you think of this idea....

On the one hand, it's kind of smart.

On the other, it's a great way to end up divorced (trust issues, etc.)

 

[AyannaDivine]

Say whaaa? In other words, " I know you're cheating, its cool as long as you dont burn me." This relationship is destined for failure.

 

[Prinncipality]

Better safe than sorry...

 

[MD_Lady]

The day I feel like I need to make DH get tested for an STD is the day I file for divorce. What other people do in their marriage is their business.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Say whaaa? In other words, " I know you're cheating, its cool as long as you dont burn me." This relationship is destined for failure.

I wondered about that but on the flip side, I'd rather a failed relationship than a death sentence.

 

[TayMac]

I wouldn't do that. That sounds like someone has cheated and there are lingering trust issues.

 

[Cattypus1]

I was talking with my hair dresser and she was saying how she and her husband (at her behest) get HIV/AIDS tests annually. He isn't a fan but he does it. What do you think of this idea.... On the one hand, it's kind of smart. On the other, it's a great way to end up divorced (trust issues, etc.)

Not gonna be married to someone if I feel either one of us need an annual test for STDs of any variety...but that's just me.

 

[Southernbella.]

Hmmmm...I had a pap recently (it had been a few years) and I went ahead and got tested for everything. I didn't think dh was cheating or anything. I just feel like I owe it to myself to know what's going on with my body. I know that probably sounds weird but it makes sense in my head.

I can't see asking dh to take one unless I had some reason to believe he was putting me at risk.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF

 

[TayMac]

Dbl post....

 

[SlimPickinz]

I wondered about that but on the flip side, I'd rather a failed relationship than a death sentence.

This makes sense. But I don't know how I'd feel about asking my husband for a screening.

 

[LdyKamz]

Kind of OT but kind of still my doctor told me it is smart to get tested regularly even if you are married. Not for cheating, but for your health. She told me of a story of a woman who had been trying to conceive with her husband for years and she was having trouble. Turns out she had chlamydia for years and it caused infertility. She didn't know because she had been with her husband only and assumed everything was fine. Husband was tested and he didn't have it.

I could see getting tested just because. For me. Not because I think my husband is cheating. But I'm not married and I say that now.

 

[LaBelleLL]

Kind of OT but kind of still my doctor told me it is smart to get tested regularly even if you are married. Not for cheating, but for your health. She told me of a story of a woman who had been trying to conceive with her husband for years and she was having trouble. Turns out she had chlamydia for years and it caused infertility. She didn't know because she had been with her husband only and assumed everything was fine. Husband was tested and he didn't have it. I could see getting tested just because. For me. Not because I think my husband is cheating. But I'm not married and I say that now.

Wait what??? How did she get chlamidiya then if she's only been with her husband who did not have it?

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

It was dormant for years, meaning she showed no sign of symptoms.

 

[LdyKamz]

Right. Not that she had only been with her husband ever. Sorry about that.

It was dormant for a long time. And never treated which is how it caused infertility which the doc said is rare but happens. It has to go untreated for quite some time.

 

[curlicarib]

STD panel is standard with my annual physical. With that said, if I felt that I had to ask my HUSBAND to be tested annually, I might well consider the foundation of my MARRIAGE to be unstable.

 

[nlamr2013]

Wasn't this thread started before? Imma see if I can find it.

 

[okange76]

I wouldn't make him but I think you both should regularly for your sexual health during your annual physical. Diseases/infections can stay dormant for years. If he seems opposed or too uncomfortable then I would worry. It is in his own best interests as well especially if he painted the town red in his youth.

 

[Mortons]

I think its a good idea. Unfortunately.

 

[MarcustheWu]

Ehh. I kinda understand, even if you trust your husband. He is still human and you only get one body. *shrug* How many people have trusted their spouses and ended up with something that cannot be cured?

 

[Mortons]

Ehh. I kinda understand, even if you trust your husband. He is still human and you only get one body. *shrug* How many people have trusted their spouses and ended up with something that cannot be cured?

My friends mom. Died from aids a in 2010. Was always faithful and caught it from her husband. Left behind 3 kids and many grand kids.

I don't have the luxury of trusting anyone 100% with my life so yeah...

 

[MzLady78]

My friends mom. Died from aids a in 2010. Was always faithful and caught it from her husband. Left behind 3 kids and many grand kids.

I don't have the luxury of trusting anyone 100% with my life so yeah...

This all day.

I understand that when you're in a relationship/marriage, trust is important. But humans being are fallible, and I don't put anything past anyone- I just don't.

 

[LaBelleLL]

It was dormant for years, meaning she showed no sign of symptoms.

I still don't understand. If she has only been with her husband and he doesn't have it - how did she get it in the first place - dormant or not.

 

[gabulldawg]

Hmmmm...I had a pap recently (it had been a few years) and I went ahead and got tested for everything. I didn't think dh was cheating or anything. I just feel like I owe it to myself to know what's going on with my body. I know that probably sounds weird but it makes sense in my head.

I can't see asking dh to take one unless I had some reason to believe he was putting me at risk.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF

STD panel is standard with my annual physical. With that said, if I felt that I had to ask my HUSBAND to be tested annually, I might well consider the foundation of my MARRIAGE to be unstable.

Yes I get tested annually because it's a part of my pap exam. If it wasn't included I wouldn't do it. I don't feel the need to ask DH to get tested. I trust him. As someone else mentioned, that's probably never something I would do in MY marriage. I'd rather be divorced and celibate.

 

[FemmeCreole]

Hmmmm...I had a pap recently (it had been a few years) and I went ahead and got tested for everything. I didn't think dh was cheating or anything. I just feel like I owe it to myself to know what's going on with my body. I know that probably sounds weird but it makes sense in my head.

I can't see asking dh to take one unless I had some reason to believe he was putting me at risk.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using LHCF

I did the same thing last month when I went to get my pap. I figured why the hell not just know.

Also cheating is not the only way a person can contract say HIV/AIDS.

 

[Lucie]

I always get full blood work done. I don't know about making him do it. I like to know everything about my health and have them give me a print out for my own personal files.

 

[spelmanlocks]

We don't do regular testing, but my family member with HIV caught it from her husband. Granted her and plenty of other folks knew very well that he was sexing other women. She told me she participates in a support group of women who got it from their husband. I don't know there stories, but I would not be surprised if some were blindsided by their diagnosis.

 

[tuffCOOKiE]

I would ask. I think it's because of my past though. Because of the Haitian/Nigerian/South African men I've been around and have modeled for me, I would be foolish not to want that.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I still don't understand. If she has only been with her husband and he doesn't have it - how did she get it in the first place - dormant or not.

She got it from another man before dating/marrying her husband. It doesn't mean she cheated on her husband.

 

[SmileyNY]

A cheater is a cheater. A man who is faithful based on his character, rather than just fear, is not going to see a request to get annual bloodwork done as an invitation to cheat.

 

[fluffyforever]

How did all std's start anyway? I got tested before I was even sexually active and I will continue to do so. Who knows what can develop that could potentially harm my FH or my fertility and health.