Making him notice u beyond friendship

[CourtneyD]

Let me be transparent. (no judging, please) I am extremely interested in this brother from my church. We hang out every now and then, but only if I iniitiate - he then accepts) but he has never made a move: no excuse to touch my hand,, no playful/testing flirting words, no texting, no references at all so OBVIOUSLY I have to conclude that "he's just not that into you!"

But I'm "boo-boo the fool", at least for now and so I still am interested. I'm afraid to make a genuine move because I am older than he is, and sometimes I think he is a little intimidated by that (older translated means I have a house and he doesn't, I have a more senior job, he doesn't, etc.) and making the serious moves, well, it's not really my style, plus I hate rejection, and it might hurt our friendship. Also, I prefer the man to initiate things. Now, I do know how to flirt as a woman and I've thrown some hints out there and have given him many an opportunity to ask me out or text me something, or flirt, etc.

So what did you do (if anything) to get your SO or DH to see you as more than a friend? Can you get answers from your man on what works (without me having to put my boob in this guy's face!). A man's perspective is appreciated.

Some Facts:1) personalities click 2) physically - he likes what he sees (tested and confirmed) 3) intellectually we're compatible 4) he's not dating anyone else 5) he's not the classically handsome type so it's not like women are all over him. 6) we always have a good time together 7) neither of us have children or "drama."

I've been single for sooooo long so I've forgotten what it takes to date. Should I keep asking him out? Should I pull away or try to get together more often? My old style used to be inaccessible (because I usually am - not a game) but whether I am or not- doesn't seem to affect him. (I know, I know.... help me Jesus! The heart wants what it wants sometimes...)

Oh yeah, don't judge me. You were "boo boo the fool" once, too!

Any tips would be great. (Not going to sleep with him, though!) Here's my tip to myself: "Move on girl, move on!"

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I understand what you're going. I've gone through this with a friend of mine (well not exactly but close). I dont think its him seeing you as more. I think it could be one of two things:

*He's not ready for a wife (financially, etc.)
or
*You intimidate him. You excel his status and that will make most men feel inferior. He's not sure if he has much to offer you.

 

[Bunny77]

Wait, you said you keep asking him out? Meaning that, you've asked him out before and nothing much has come to it?

I think you already gave yourself the best advice.

Move on, he's just not that into you.

 

[brownbeauty196]

Sounds like he only sees you as a friend or he would have started something by now. He's single and your single so my guess is that he's just not that into you.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I'm sure you're a great catch for someone-but not a great catch for him. He hasn't even extended the friendship enough to even call you.

I'd move on, perhaps he senses how you're into him and he's more into the chase and he doesn't have to chase you because he feels you're too readily available--I wouldn't extend anymore invitations and see what happens from there.

 

[Highly Favored8]

He is just not that into you. I have been in your shoes too and if a man is into you then he will step up and let you know it for sure. However, I guess have you asked him how he feels about realtionships etc... what kind of woman is he looking for? Is he really ready for a realtionship?

 

[guudhair]

I agree with not asking him out anymore to see if he would eventually ask you...and if he doesn't then look at it this way, he may be doing you a favor in the long run...