Major Vent - Women With Natural Hair Can't Thrive In Corporate America

TinyBlu

TinyBlu

Well-Known Member
Let me start off by saying that I respect any woman for her very personal choice to do what she wants with her hair. 12 years ago I decided to stop relaxing my hair, and in 2008 I got Sisterlocks. It has truly been a journey of growth and a lesson in self love. I honestly think it was one of the most freeing decisions I ever made.

So... last night a fraternity brother and I got into one of our usual passionate debates. He stated that he prefers a woman to relax her hair or to "keep it done". I inquired further about how he felt about a woman who was natural but straightened from time to time to which he responded "Always straight is better..."

I thought I did a good job of staying off my soap box until he outright started bashing "Nappy Headed" women. I challenged him by saying that if he preferred always straight, why not just date someone with hair that is naturally straight (i.e. outside his race), he stated he couldn't bring someone home of a different race, nor could he bring home anyone with "nappy hair".

I expressed that I thought this was very narrow minded, but he floored me when he boldly announced that "Ain't no nappy headed woman gonna ever get nowhere in the corporate world" (yes, double negatives and all). I reminded him that I held a comfortable position in my company and that hair was not an issue. His response: "I bet you couldn't get away with that if you weren't in non-profit..."

I won't say where I took the conversation from there. :censored:.

Did I mention he's single and never been married? Anyway, I thought how sad it is that we are still defined by our hair choices. It is my hope that he represents a minority, but it makes me wonder if he echoes an unspoken reality.

You're going to throw stones for this one... but it was a man OUTSIDE my race that encouraged me to go natural... Just sayin'
 
You know sometimes men get sexual satisfaction from picking arguements with women especially topics that they know the woman will find irksome. It doesn't have anything to do with attraction or only seeing her in a certain light, it just gives them twitchy wood to see and hear an agitated woman so they continue to poke the bear so to speak. That's the reason why you have so many "passionate debates" with said dude.

Don't provide him with anymore free entertainment.
 
Self hating Negrum. TF is growing out of HIS head then? He hates himself. He hates BW and doesnt date out due to fear of being disowned. I fear for his future black wife.

I've actually been doing better in corporate America since being natural. And I'm STEM. He's projecting his hate onto the work world. Let's hope he never gets to a position to hire ppl. Best believe there'll nary be a bw in his department.

What a POS.
 
I always find this funny from black men particularly because they don't and can't do what we do to our hair. There's no hiding their naps even if they keep that cut low lol so why is it ok for them but bad for us. Let a black girl go talking about how she likes soft silky hair she can run her hands through even when his hair is short and there would be hell to pay. I don't care one ounce but think about things like this from time to time.

Funny enough the first person who told me I should go natural was also a white dude I worked with when I was working at a bar. I had cut my hair into a pixie cut after wearing weaves that whole year. He told me it looked great and it would look even better natural. I didn't even know what a natural was at the time.
 
TinyBlu said:
Let me start off by saying that I respect any woman for her very personal choice to do what she wants with her hair. 12 years ago I decided to stop relaxing my hair, and in 2008 I got Sisterlocks. It has truly been a journey of growth and a lesson in self love. I honestly think it was one of the most freeing decisions I ever made.

So... last night a fraternity brother and I got into one of our usual passionate debates. He stated that he prefers a woman to relax her hair or to "keep it done". I inquired further about how he felt about a woman who was natural but straightened from time to time to which he responded "Always straight is better..."

I thought I did a good job of staying off my soap box until he outright started bashing "Nappy Headed" women. I challenged him by saying that if he preferred always straight, why not just date someone with hair that is naturally straight (i.e. outside his race), he stated he couldn't bring someone home of a different race, nor could he bring home anyone with "nappy hair".

I expressed that I thought this was very narrow minded, but he floored me when he boldly announced that "Ain't no nappy headed woman gonna ever get nowhere in the corporate world" (yes, double negatives and all). I reminded him that I held a comfortable position in my company and that hair was not an issue. His response: "I bet you couldn't get away with that if you weren't in non-profit..."

I won't say where I took the conversation from there. :censored:.

Did I mention he's single and never been married? Anyway, I thought how sad it is that we are still defined by our hair choices. It is my hope that he represents a minority, but it makes me wonder if he echoes an unspoken reality.

You're going to throw stones for this one... but it was a man OUTSIDE my race that encouraged me to go natural... Just sayin'
Click to expand...


Just curious... What frat does he belong to?
 
Where does he work? Does he have a C-suite job in Corporate America? Would he even know what the Black women in this arena even look like?

Some people aren't that smart. Facebook re-posting, part-time vegan/still eats bacon and pork rinds, but has a job where he wears khakis, type of dudes are so annoying.
Those types SWEAR they have seen it all and done it all, but at best, only makes it to a mid-level manager.

Signed,
Natural in the C-suite development program

p.s. No shade, but is he a sigma?:look:
 
Crackers Phinn said:
You know sometimes men get sexual satisfaction from picking arguements with women especially topics that they know the woman will find irksome. It doesn't have anything to do with attraction or only seeing her in a certain light, it just gives them twitchy wood to see and hear an agitated woman so they continue to poke the bear so to speak. That's the reason why you have so many "passionate debates" with said dude.

Don't provide him with anymore free entertainment.
Click to expand...
This right here! That’s what I got from it. Don’t fall for it anymore. I bet he went and handled himself in the bathroom after that...
 
KammyGirl said:
I always find this funny from black men particularly because they don't and can't do what we do to our hair. There's no hiding their naps even if they keep that cut low lol so why is it ok for them but bad for us. Let a black girl go talking about how she likes soft silky hair she can run her hands through even when his hair is short and there would be hell to pay. I don't care one ounce but think about things like this from time to time.

Funny enough the first person who told me I should go natural was also a white dude I worked with when I was working at a bar. I had cut my hair into a pixie cut after wearing weaves that whole year. He told me it looked great and it would look even better natural. I didn't even know what a natural was at the time.
Click to expand...
I don’t like that he blamed the women in his family for that either. Yeah let’s start saying we can only bring El Debarge like dudes home and see how well that goes over! Lol
 
Miss_Luna said:
Where does he work? Does he have a C-suite job in Corporate America? Would he even know what the Black women in this arena even look like?

Some people aren't that smart. Facebook re-posting, part-time vegan/still eats bacon and pork rinds, but has a job where he wears khakis, type of dudes are so annoying.
Those types SWEAR they have seen it all and done it all, but at best, only makes it to a mid-level manager.

Signed,
Natural in the C-suite development program

p.s. No shade, but is he a sigma?:look:
Click to expand...

Hence my reason for asking. Me thinks he's simply projecting his own issues with women wearing their hair natural and tried to hit you where he thinks it hurts.

ETA: I'd tread lightly with taking any person's "advice" on how to rise in corporate america, unless they have risen themselves.
 
Last edited:
Miss_Luna said:
Where does he work? Does he have a C-suite job in Corporate America? Would he even know what the Black women in this arena even look like?

Some people aren't that smart. Facebook re-posting, part-time vegan/still eats bacon and pork rinds, but has a job where he wears khakis, type of dudes are so annoying.
Those types SWEAR they have seen it all and done it all, but at best, only makes it to a mid-level manager.

Signed,
Natural in the C-suite development program

p.s. No shade, but is he a sigma?:look:
Click to expand...


OMG!! He is? Is there a Sigma code that I've missed. Please say it ain't so!!!
 
...Wanna hear something funny?

He said I hurt his feelings when I said he was full of SH** if he thinks a natural haired woman can't thrive in corporate America.

Never considered that he's getting his rocks off by getting me riled up. Could be...

I like going back and forth with him because he usually ends up saying something completely dumb and can't back it up. Whenever I back him into a corner, he ends the conversation by saying that "black women have too much mouth"

Guess what... he's SINGLE... no woman of any race wants much to do with him... SHOCKING!!!
 
TinyBlu said:
...Wanna hear something funny?

He said I hurt his feelings when I said he was full of SH** if he thinks a natural haired woman can't thrive in corporate America.

Never considered that he's getting his rocks off by getting me riled up. Could be...

I like going back and forth with him because he usually ends up saying something completely dumb and can't back it up. Whenever I back him into a corner, he ends the conversation by saying that "black women have too much mouth"

Guess what... he's SINGLE... no woman of any race wants much to do with him... SHOCKING!!!
Click to expand...

I'm sorry but this right here would alone have me choosing to not talk to this guy. He's using the loud angry black woman stereotype to "put you in your place." That stuff makes my blood boil.

I would tell him, though, that I pity his future wife and daughter, assuming he ever has that.
 
TinyBlu said:
...Wanna hear something funny?

He said I hurt his feelings when I said he was full of SH** if he thinks a natural haired woman can't thrive in corporate America.

Never considered that he's getting his rocks off by getting me riled up. Could be...

I like going back and forth with him because he usually ends up saying something completely dumb and can't back it up. Whenever I back him into a corner, he ends the conversation by saying that "black women have too much mouth"

Guess what... he's SINGLE... no woman of any race wants much to do with him... SHOCKING!!!
Click to expand...
You hurt his feelings? He sounds so annoying. I find some people (especially black people) in law still have a very narrow, old fashioned view of what corporate looks like. It really gets on my nerves. Law firms are the only places I find these days that will give you sideways glance if you dare to come in with natural hair. I'm natural and when I was hired at my last firm it was all anyone talked about. They got used to it. I left that place still being the only natural...or at least the only natural to wear her hair in its natural state. Black male attorneys used to come in and do a double take like wth is she doing here? One woman even told me that she loved my hair and encouraged her daughter to go natural but she still thinks my hair is unprofessional for work. lol Meanwhile if I got a bomb bantu knot out the white male partners would be walking past my desk talking about "having a good hair day kammy!" with a thumbs up. I just can't understand it.
 
TinyBlu said:
I expressed that I thought this was very narrow minded, but he floored me when he boldly announced that "Ain't no nappy headed woman gonna ever get nowhere in the corporate world" (yes, double negatives and all). I reminded him that I held a comfortable position in my company and that hair was not an issue. His response: "I bet you couldn't get away with that if you weren't in non-profit..."
Click to expand...

Boz St John of Uber

boz.JPG



Debra Lee
0bda6ae79f20a243c2e4d22794d0c887.jpg





More:
https://bglh-marketplace.com/2015/01/8-top-professionals-and-ceos-who-wear-their-natural-hair/
 
TinyBlu said:
...Wanna hear something funny?

He said I hurt his feelings when I said he was full of SH** if he thinks a natural haired woman can't thrive in corporate America.

Never considered that he's getting his rocks off by getting me riled up. Could be...

I like going back and forth with him because he usually ends up saying something completely dumb and can't back it up. Whenever I back him into a corner, he ends the conversation by saying that "black women have too much mouth"

Guess what... he's SINGLE... no woman of any race wants much to do with him... SHOCKING!!!
Click to expand...
He is gaslighting you. You really aren’t putting him in his place, if he keeps saying dumb things to you.
 
I'm SOOOO jelly of Ms. Boz's hair. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gorgeous!!!

... and gaslighting or not, frat can't even maintain his own personal hygiene. He just likes to say dumb SH**. There's really no place for me to put him. Forrest Gump said it best... "Stupid is as stupid does..." He'll be all right!!! :afro::afro:
 
Soror @TinyBlu , you know how some Sigmas (men) are. Like @Crackers Phinn wrote so eloquently, there are some guys who just get off on arguing and being oppositional. There are some guys who get into positions of power to offset their insecurities, low-esteem, and shady background rather than because of their actual interest in their field (hopefully he's not one of those) and they project those insecurities onto other people. I do understand that for some people, especially more old-school folks, how their hair is styled is indeed tied to their appearance. I have two very friends in Executive Director positions in large companies. One is natural, but often straightens, and the other is a transitioner who weaves. One jokes that she'll go back to a natural look after she passes her probation, LOL. But as a manager, I've never felt like I need to straighten my hair to get ahead (promoted while as a natural), and would never work at a company that made me feel like I needed to.
 
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