Line Between Too Frank and Lying

[TokyoReina]

It's like this...I was eating lunch with a guy at the mall. He asks me where I see myself, and us, in five years. I've known him all of two weeks at this point. I say to him "Not with You." He was slightly offended, but there was a picture of me ,within my head, in five years and he was not in it. After that, we were walking past the jewelry store and he stopped and asked me what I'd say if he asked me to marry him. I told him "I'd say No." He asked me what was wrong with him that I wouldn't want to marry him.

I was talking about this experience with a friend mine and we started talking about what was considered too honest when talking to guys. I've always been called a frank/too honest person, but I really don't know what else to do! I can't keep my answer to myself because I feel like a big liar. Anyone else have this problem? What can I do? I don't want to come off as rude or hurtful, but I don't want to lie.

 

[Ramya]

Maybe find a better choice of words because IMO what you said was harsh not honest.

 

[firecracker]

Not with you! See now he couldve taken that plastic fork and stabbed ya for busting his heart up! I say almost anything but darn me I don't think I woulda said that even if I knew it was true.

 

[TokyoReina]

I know that one comment could have, well it did, come off as kind of rude and made me look like a bit B...so I kind of tried to explain to him why in a nice and smiling kind of way after. But still...That's what came out. erplexed

 

[MizAvalon]

Maybe find a better choice of words because IMO what you said was harsh not honest.

I think it was both harsh and honest.

Why is this dude moving so quickly? I'm all for men being upfront about what they want and not playing games but wow, 2 weeks?

How old is he?

 

[Bunny77]

It's like this...I was eating lunch with a guy at the mall. He asks me where I see myself, and us, in five years. I've known him all of two weeks at this point. I say to him "Not with You." He was slightly offended, but there was a picture of me ,within my head, in five years and he was not in it. After that, we were walking past the jewelry store and he stopped and asked me what I'd say if he asked me to marry him. I told him "I'd say No." He asked me what was wrong with him that I wouldn't want to marry him.

I was talking about this experience with a friend mine and we started talking about what was considered too honest when talking to guys. I've always been called a frank/too honest person, but I really don't know what else to do! I can't keep my answer to myself because I feel like a big liar. Anyone else have this problem? What can I do? I don't want to come off as rude or hurtful, but I don't want to lie.

That was harsh.

I don't think you have to lie, but I guess my question would be, was this a date or just two friends hanging out? If it was a date, then you probably shouldn't go on dates with him if you don't see a future with him. If he's just a friend, well, that's a strange question for him to ask.

If he'd asked me, I'd have said, "I don't know you well enough to be thinking of a future with you, epsecially since we aren't in a relationship."

But seriously, if you aren't into him, just don't go out with him any more so he doesn't get the wrong idea.

 

[TokyoReina]

That was harsh.

I don't think you have to lie, but I guess my question would be, was this a date or just two friends hanging out? If it was a date, then you probably shouldn't go on dates with him if you don't see a future with him. If he's just a friend, well, that's a strange question for him to ask.

If he'd asked me, I'd have said, "I don't know you well enough to be thinking of a future with you, epsecially since we aren't in a relationship."

But seriously, if you aren't into him, just don't go out with him any more so he doesn't get the wrong idea.

Oh, I wish I'd have said that, I do. It was a date, and we were both 19. We don't talk anymore because he obviously wants to settle down young and have some kids. Just concerned with my bad choices of words.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

a lot of times, it's not what we say, but HOW we say it...

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

COLDBLOODED!