Letting him move in or new place?

Kinkyhairlady

Kinkyhairlady

Well-Known Member
Say you have a spacious apartment or already own a home and your future DH doesn't, would you allow him to move into your apartment or house or would you sell and get something under both your names?

I'm asking cause I've seen the guy move in and there has been issues cause the woman still thinks its her apartment or house which makes the man feel inferior.
 
If he can afford a new house then I have no problem getting a new home with him, but if he wants to do it because of his insecurity and it would cause even more financial difficulties for us; then he would have to consult God on that.

Ive always wanted to buy my first home with hubby and start fresh but as we get older, it is not always the case
 
I would put it under my mom's name (and in her will that it is mine), rent it out, and have him buy a home for us and our family.

A man I would like wouldn't be comfortable in the situation you described.
 
I know a couple who lived in the wife's townhouse initially after marriage for about two years util they saved enough money to purchase a new home. They sold the townhouse after. that can be an option
 
LiftedUp said:
I would put it under my mom's name (and in her will that it is mine), rent it out, and have him buy a home for us and our family.

A man I would like wouldn't be comfortable in the situation you described.
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I know my cousin married and moved into the wifess place and they did not last a month due to her saying get the F out my house during an argument. My cousin left her that same day. They were broken io for a year before reconciling and get a new house together. My cousin said no man should ever move into a woman's house. I love my apartment and will only move when I buy so if marriage comes first we either buy or he moves in.
 
Kinkyhairlady, I have been wondering the same thing. I am looking to buy a house but would it be best thing to do as a single women?

sweetvi, I feel the same as you, I want my first house to be bought with my husband.
 
Kinkyhairlady said:
Say you have a spacious apartment or already own a home and your future DH doesn't, would you allow him to move into your apartment or house or would you sell and get something under both your names?

I'm asking cause I've seen the guy move in and there has been issues cause the woman still thinks its her apartment or house which makes the man feel inferior.
Click to expand...

Until we were married, I wouldn't live together (that is me). But once we are we can live together in my place or his until we get a place together. You can always sell or keep your own house for a rental property.

I also don't think I would be marrying a man that would feel inferior that easily (but then again, that is me).
 
I've seen men move in the women's house a lot after marriage. I have not seen it cause issues in the marriage. I think in most cases the man took over paying for the mortgage once he moved in.
 
I have a house and this is something I would have to consider. Realistically, I'd like to rent mine out and it's get a new place. Honestly I don't know where he'd put his stuff and I do see it as mine. But I could see us living here for a short time to make the transition.
 
I would get a new place together. My ex moved here from out of state and moved into my home...it caused alot of issues. When he got mad he acted like he had no obligation to stay or help me pay on the mortgage. I would rent my place out and start fresh next time.
 
New place.

I don't own a place, but SO does.

I think its psychologically better to find somewhere new where its 50/50 and negotiation. Additionally I don't want to live somewhere permanently that I didn't choose and where he has had other SOs. Clean slate.
 
I don't see why the man would have an issue unless he was trifling and wasn't helping with rent/mortgage/bills. :perplexed

When DH and I got together I moved into his place. We eventually got a house together. I don't think that there would've been an issue if it was the other way around. DH is a pretty secure guy. As long as he was contributing it would be our place together anyway as far as I'm concerned.
 
Kinkyhairlady said:
Say you have a spacious apartment or already own a home and your future DH doesn't, would you allow him to move into your apartment or house or would you sell and get something under both your names?

I'm asking cause I've seen the guy move in and there has been issues cause the woman still thinks its her apartment or house which makes the man feel inferior.
Click to expand...

I would if he was taking care of me financially.
 
Why would a man want to move into a woman's home though? It just makes him seem so inadequate to me. Paying the mortgage for her home doesn't say much to me either.

I think I have "man - provider" ingrained in me too much.
 
LiftedUp said:
Why would a man want to move into a woman's home though? It just makes him seem so inadequate to me. Paying the mortgage for her home doesn't say much to me either.

I think I have "man - provider" ingrained in me too much.
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Why wouldnt he?

I have man - provider ingrained in me and i see nothing wrong with the man moving in.
 
He can move in and take on the provider role or whatever we determine fits our needs. Maybe the woman loves her house and it works for their current situation. They can save and move later. Selling a house isn't always easy nor is being a landlord.
 
nah, being the type of man he is, my now DH [former SO, duh, :-)] would never have moved into MY place..
 
I can't really picture myself buying a house as a single woman. Even if I was financially able to, I don't think I would.:ohwell::nono: I like the idea of buying a house as a married couple (I don't believe in cohabitation) as a way of starting a new life together.
 
Interesting thread. I know a couple of 40+ single women who bought homes, one just closed recently. Neither is currently dating.

I see no reason to rent forever and wait on a man to buy a home.

If moving into your home makes your guy feel inadequate, it's probably easier to find a new guy than to sell or rent your home.
 
If one of us owns a home and the other doesn't it's more practical to move in to the owned home. With them real estate market the way it is, many people are upside down in the mortgages anyway and to try and sell could cost thousands above what you initially invested.

If both are home owners, the house of least value could become a rental property for 'passive' income.

If both are renting, my preference would be to rent a new place together to make new memories and start the new life off fresh.
 
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