lets share stumbling blocks and setbacks

[Tene]

My Setbacks:

My hair was alot healthier when I was relaxing every 3 months instead of 6 to 8 weeks

Had a little breakage on one side of my head from bad nerves, constantly picking at it

My hair ain't growing as fast as it was last year, I should be a few inches past shoulder length

 

[Mom23]

** Bumping **

 

[Denim And Leather]

I'm not quite six weeks into my hair journey, but so far:

The setbacks:

1. OD'd on Aphogee within a two week time frame, just a couple of weeks into my regimen NEVER AGAIN!

2. Colored my hair with Bigen hair color (honey blonde), just the front of my hair. I have some split ends in that area, and it looks drier compared to the rest of my hair.

3. This past week. My hair resumed breaking more, and I think this is because I might have od'd on Scurl and clarified within a 2 week time frame.

Finally though, I've done something right! Before washing my hair tonight, I oiled it with olive oil before washing it with triple moisture shampoo from Neutragena. The I did a deep conditioner, and rinsed it out, detangling my hair right under the shower. I hardly had any hair breakage! Why didn't I think to do this before?

 

[BrwnSugaBabee]

The things that continually set me back are: Once I get my hair long and healthy, I want to straigten it all the time and of course it breaks horribly. Then I have to start all over again. This process has taken me years to perfect..Still working on it. I just sabatoge myself because..when my hair is healthy I think nothing can faze it..so out come the curling irons, flat irons, hair dye etc.

Now I realize that I just cannot wear my hair flatironed all the time..this is wayy to much heat(and no more color ever). I always wondered why I could never just wear my hair "out". Only time it seemed to grow was in braids or under a weave. Well now to make a long story even longer..I have learned to have a balance with my hair..Direct heat only once a month if that (even when it gets healthy again) and protective style galore. I am going to have to learn to be more creative! With the tips I have learned here my hair will be its healthiest yet!

 

[locabouthair]

not moisturizing and deep conditioning regularly really took a toll on my hair. i didn't realize how bad my ends were until I pressed my hair. now I have to cut off at least and inch and in some places two inches or more.

 

[caribeandiva]

my only setback so far was not being quick enough to dump my blowdryer and flatiron. i did them everytime i washed (twice a week). since i cut back to once a month i've seen a lot of progress lenght wise.

 

[Mom23]

I bumped this and forgot to add my own setback!! I had been doing so well and then I wanted to try and use up some of the products I had without throwing them away. BAD CHOICE!! I used some Pantene Relaxed and Natural that my mom left here when she visited. Why oh why?? My hair was not happy. It was shedding in the shower as I detangled and the next morning my hair was so hard and it was snapping all over the place. It also seemed like it had heavy build up.

Well...I clarified, washed with my beloved Elucence and all is right again. I am sticking with what works for me.

 

[shawniegee]

Perming too often and not knowing how to manage my newgrowth while stretch. I realize know that even though I get a lot of newgrowth really fast I can't perm too often without it thinning my hair. I also realized that I can't on stretch with heat and braids with breakage.

 

[Lucia]

Setbacks:
Using harsh drying shampoos
Not keeping my hair moisterized enough
Not trimming or S&D missions on the ends
Bad cuts from stylists, cutting too much length off and not understanding or respecting what I wanted.
Learned:
Conditioner Only regime-given up all shampoo
Self haircare
Moisturex3
No taking crap from any stylists when I do have to visit them which I haven't done in almost 2 years.

 

[Angelicus]

Stylists... period.

 

[berry87]

Setbacks!
Trimming ever 8 weeks
Not stretching relaxer
Not Mousturizing
Getting color rinses, right after relaxer when my hair wasnt strong enough
no knowing about protien treatments
not finding the hair boards sooner
***Before i started my hair journey i was natural for about 3 years armpit lenth when stretched. I decided to get a relaxer in april of 04 for the first time in years(i longed 4 that straight look). Man i went back to the same routine relaxing evry 8 weeks eventhough i sometimes had a teeny weeny bit of growth. in september of 04 i had my third relaxer sigh. I decided to get a rinse right after and boy did the stylist forget to wash the middle of my head out weeks later i was shedding like crazy then about a month or 2 after i was left with thin hair , and the middle and a bit of the back section had only an inch. I repeat an inch of hair. i try to cover it up with the sides but nope wasnt working. I had people in my family askin what happened? and also in school, man i felt so bad i strated to wear scarf on my head everywhere. school, movies, family outings
I Slapped in some braids in o5 and found the hair boardrs last august and my journey satrted septmeber 05. My hair is still short but i've made great progress thus far but i still have alot of catching up 2 do.**

Now i moisturize often wash every 3-4 dayz, protien treatmnet when i rellay need them. no heat(except for DC). trim every other relaxer or as needed. I'm apart of the
Save the Ends Foundation.



Thanks Ladies HUGGS!

 

[Denim And Leather]

Other setbacks: My heat happy hairdresser. I'd see her every six weeks for a touch up. She do the touch up, then blow dried my hair and straightened it with a marcel curling iron. NEVER AGAIN!!

On the first wash after my last visit with her (April 1st), I airdried my hair, and noticed that my hair was so dry, it felt crispy on the sides. I was so ignorant, that the other times when my hair felt like this, I never paid any attention. Only when I started coming here and reading the UBH book, that I realized that woman was scalping me! I had planned on seeing her again for my touch up, but a few weeks into my regimen, and the reality of what she was doing to my hair sinking in, I decided that I do not want her touching my hair ever again!

The good: I'm learning to stretch my relaxers. I have an inch of newgrowth, but I'm not quite 7 weeks post touch up, so I'm trying different ways in handling the newgrowth, because I would like to stretch to 3 months, if my hair will allow it. I plan on doing my own touch up with the Phytospecific relaxer. I saw some good tips here on self-relaxing and look forward to trying it myself.

 

[Blu217]

Setback: Started using Surge, tried to stretch a relaxer. Broke off a patch of hair in the back. I now relax regularly and leave the Surge alone.

MTG and most other topical treatments give me bad, sticky dandruff, but I want to keep using them.

My hair was thinning from stress, then stopped. Now it's started shedding again and I'm not sure why this time. Could be from stopping BC pills not quite two months ago, or from running out of my iron supplement. VERY frustrating! I'm ready to recover from all this and get my body and hair healthy again!

 

[Iansan]

Getting 3 tracks sewn into my hair is what led me to hairboards. I am still wary of weaves, but I have learned either a full weave or nothing. Tracks are the devil.

I am a heat addict. I know if I left my flatiron alone, my hair would be much longer.

 

[LovelyZ]

overlapping relaxer (I self-relax)

 

[Ayeshia]

My set back was the 5-6 inch trim in Sept...but its growing back nicely...I plann not to trim for a while because my ends are still blunt and even. I thought my ends were bad because my hair tangles easily but I realized thats what happens with curly hair as it gets longer.

 

[Iansan]

Ayeshia, your hair is gorgeous!

 

[sunshyne_krissy]

This is a good thread...I think my set backs are (in order):

***TAKING ADVICE FROM ALL MY HAIRDRESSERS THAT HAD DAWG-CHEWED EDGES AND ENDS THEMSELVES (AND ACTUALLY ALLOWING THEM TO DO MY HAIR)***
1) All Relaxers/Texturizers I've tried
2) Any direct heat tool ie, curlers, pressing comb, handheld dryer, flat iron, hooded dryer with no plastic cap ( this is my hairs kryptonite too)
3) Sew in and Glue in Weaves!!!!
4) ANY grease with mineral, petroleum, lanolin as main products
5) phony-ponys (such a terrible idea)
6) Any tension on my edges
7) GEL (BACK IN THE DAY), HAIR SPRAY
8) Wrapping every night??? Thats just more manipuation
9) Brushing wet hair
10) Doing protein treatments every week
11) Not letting my hair tell ME what it needs instead of the other way around.
12) Celophane (color)/dying my hair with a weave and flat-iron and a sew in at the same time...
As you can see I've done my hair such injustice over the past decade. BUT I've completely changed that..thank God for Jesus...lol

 

[Radianthealth]

I have too many setbacks to name.

Using bonding glue for weaves
Removing said bonded weave without bond glue remover
Putting a self relaxer over a self texturizer
hot curling dirty hair on a daily basis
using rubberbands instead of ouchless ponytail holders
washing my hair 1 time every 2 or 3 months
wearing tight and tiny microbraids pulled back into tight pony tails.
wearing tight tree braids that took out my edges
Using alcohol based gels
Greasing scalp with petroleum, mineral oil based products
Not moisturizing hair with water based moisturizers
Letting my stylist use a peppermint "invigorating" conditioner right after rinsing out a relaxer
Combing hair too hard
Brushing hair
Blowdrying hair
Deep conditioning only 3-4 times/year
Self relaxing and applying relaxer to entire head of hair and combing through
Allowing a hairdresser to bond weave to my individual strands of hair with some type of wax from a glue gun. I hated the style and wanted it removed she used nail polish remover and some sort of pliers. Needless to say I was snatched bald and had bloody wounds on my scalp after this traumatic ordeal.
Not wearing a satin scarf to bed
Using sponge rollers


I am sure there are more mistakes but these are the only ones that I can think of.

 

[matuncks]

Having my hair tangle so badly that it took atleast an hour to detangle (and I am sure I lost alot of ends) after taking out a weave. No more weaves! I bought 2 full head wigs a couple of weeks ago, and five tubes of Neosporin AF yesterday.

 

[Firenza]

Using a clear color rinse,used like hair color. Boy did it ever take a toil out on the ends.
Not using a product all the time. The MTG did create growth,but will not use it every time.
Just got a flat iron yesterday,and not sure if I should use it now,but does have a steam feature to it,which might be good?
Using a light oil for ends,and dusting,instead of the trim.

 

[Lucia]

Stylists... period.

I hear ya, nuff said

 

[CurliDiva]

***I need to remeber that my hair responds to regular shampooing-- my scalp can not thrive with just a weekly wash.

***I need to focus on growing out my hair -- not color,texture or curls yet-- I'll get my ultimate style after I get my ultimate length.

***I sometimes get "length" envy when reading posts -- but I just need to focus on what works for me!

 

[starz]

My setback were caused by:

braids (they became matted and dry despite daily moisture)
stretching too long
self-relaxing(some areas were very underprocessed)
waiting too long to get a trim

 

[PretteePlease]

phyto relaxer--------------- dried my hair something terrible

hennalucent-----------------made my phyto dry hair dryer

 

[Sha76]

setbacks:
self relaxing
not trimming
letting stylist trim my hair
trimming with dull scissors
Too much heat
curling dirty hair
using dirty curling irons/flat irons

 

[dlewis]

My former stylist accidentally cut 3" and styled my hair badly I had to go to another stylist for her to style it and she had to cut 2" more. My husband was more upset than I was. That's my 9-9-06 photo. No more stylist.

 

[lana]

Hmm...well I know for sure my setback was NOT trimming. I went six months without trimming trying to be like some of you that don't need to trim regularly, when I know that I can only be me and do what works best for my hair. Now I self trim. My worst mistake was getting highlights in my hair. Sure it looks nice when it's not looking dry but it broke my ends off big time.

I've learned my lesson and my hair can only improve from this point forward.

 

[gymfreak336]

I like this thread.

Mine are:
Stylist that lifted my hair two shades but didn't properly condition it. Left me dry as all hell then got mad when I told her I conditioned it at home. That hair has now become the last two- three inches of my hair and it is sooo hard to keep moisturized. I just need to clip it off.

Anothet attempt to correct my color a couple of months later with a semi rinse turned my ends pink, orange, and purple. All of my progress, 3-4 inches had to be cut off.

From wrapping too tight and satin wrap knots rubbing it, my back/nape area especially in the middle grows sooo slowly. I makes my hair looks so uneven so people want to cut off the rest to "even me up". Maybe I should get some mtg.

Still can't find a good detangler and another conditioner with hella slip. Makes handling my new growth very difficult. I want to make it to ten weeks but right now I am barely passing six and I am tempted to relax.

 

[mzlatisha]

I use to hate my hair in its natural state but I have learned to love it.
Some of my setbacks could be sticking to my regimen and making it better.
I have tried alot of different products which have not been BAD for my hair but I want to use something that will work great for my hair.
Some other setbacks are trimming all every six weeks.
I really dont need to, so I have increased it to 12 and even then I do a dusting of my splits myself and when I need an even trim I will go to the lemon tree and they charge me about $10 and they shape it up.
Wearing my scarf...another set back.
I am hating myself right now..because my hair was growing alot and i let it go.