Lending Money???

pattyr5

pattyr5

Well-Known Member
I wanted to know how other ladies feel about helping an ex out with money. Someone I used to date went through some hard times and was out of work for a couple of months. Although he is back at work he has fallen behind on bills and is having trouble catching up. When we were dating, I used to look out for him, putting gas in the car, buying groceries, taking him out to eat and a couple of times I gave him some money. Though I never expected him to pay me back, he never made any attempt to do so am I'm okay with that.

Anyway, a few days ago this ex calls me and is sweet and friendly. We stopped seeing eachother about a month and a half ago without any real explanation. After something like a two hour conversation about nothing in particular, I said I had to go and didn't mention anything about us talking again. The following day he sends a text saying it was so good talking to me and that he missed me. I replied to that message, however I didn't say I missed him too even though I do. Two seconds later he sends me another text about how he is going to have to call up some creditors to see about making payment arrangements because he was behind on bills. All I said was good luck. That was the last text I got from him that day (yesterday) and he didn't call me last night. This morning he texted "Good Morning How Are You" and a few other things. Nothing mentioning his problems.

So my question is...what do you all think???...was this a setup for me to jump in and help him out again??...or did he already backhandedly ask by his telling me whats going on?? Or is there something deeper going on that I just don't get??
 
I've only read your first sentence, and I don't have to read any more to tell you that my answer is NO!!!! NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!!!!
 
An ex? Who ain't a friend? Asking for money? After two months of no contact?

:look: And he ain't never even make an attempt to pay you back the money you gave him while ya'll were dating?

Hell nawh. WTF? :lachen: Girl, that's some foolishness. I'm amused you are even entertaining giving him some damn money. :lachen:
 
I didn't even read the post and I said Hell NAH!!!

You shouldn't have been giving him all that money when y'all were together! Ugh, what is it with women supporting these trife negroes these days???
 
You are reading way too much into this. If you were with him you would have bailed him out with no expectation of being paid back. So naturally you're thinking that's what he is after. You wished him luck with his creditors and you should leave it at that. If he ask you for money, tell him no.
 
Man! Browndilocks, JustKiya, and Bunny77 done took the words and thoughts out of my mind! Please take their advice. Don't do it!
 
Poohbear said:
Man! Browndilocks, JustKiya, and Bunny77 done took the words and thoughts out of my mind! Please take their advice. Don't do it!
Click to expand...

OK, Loud and clear...I don't have it to lend anyway, lol. But I was really curious as to whether or not this was just a set up for money or is he calling because he wants to be friends....
 
pattyr5 said:
OK, Loud and clear...I don't have it to lend anyway, lol. But I was really curious as to whether or not this was just a set up for money or is he calling because he wants to be friends....
Click to expand...


Okay, taking the money out of the equation, do you really want to be friends with a dude who broke up with you without explanation and is just now deciding to speak to you after being silent for over a month?
 
OP, don't you think the timing of his phone call, and his financial difficulties are "motives" in him wanting to "rekindle" a friendship?

Don't be a fool and let this man use you. He will never really respect you, nor will the relationship go any further than your bank account.
 
pattyr5 said:
OK, Loud and clear...I don't have it to lend anyway, lol. But I was really curious as to whether or not this was just a set up for money or is he calling because he wants to be friends....
Click to expand...

He's not trying to be your friend, unless it's friends with financial benefits--a person trying to be your friend don't normally jump head-first about how financially strapped they are. He knows from the past that you had taken care of him when he was in need, and that's what he's hoping for now. Don't fall for it young lady:nono:, please....
 
(Best Chinese accent:) A thirsty traveler circles miles backward to drink from a reliable well.

:lol:

Translation: dude knew you had helped him in the past with no strings attached. Since he's in trouble again, he thought he would swing by and test the waters to see if you might help one mo' time.

Don't fall for it. If you still care for him at all, do HIM a favor and force him to grow up and be responsible for himself. Just say no! And, BTW, care for yourself, too. Know you deserve better than to be the desert oasis for a man you ain't traveling with. Let him make new friends on twitter or something...
 
Poohbear said:
Man! Browndilocks, JustKiya, and Bunny77 done took the words and thoughts out of my mind! Please take their advice. Don't do it!
Click to expand...
Same here. After reading the first few lines I knew I didnt have to read anything else.

HECK NO!! :stop:
 
pattyr5 said:
OK, Loud and clear...I don't have it to lend anyway, lol. But I was really curious as to whether or not this was just a set up for money or is he calling because he wants to be friends....
Click to expand...
I think it may be a slick way of him trying to get money out of you since he knows you have freely given him money in the past with no problem. The big red flag was that he texted you so soon about his creditors wanting to arrange payments for unpaid bills, and he's trying be all nice to you with his "good mornings" and "sweet & friendly" talk. I would not entertain this snake.
 
~~HoneyComb~~ said:
He's not trying to be your friend, unless it's friends with financial benefits--a person trying to be your friend don't normally jump head-first about how financially strapped they are. He knows from the past that you had taken care of him when he was in need, and that's what he's hoping for now. Don't fall for it young lady:nono:, please....
Click to expand...
Yes yes. He is trying to see if can play you OP. Be strong and don't fall for the mind games.
 
Still Sexy Stewardess;8646488 If you still care for him at all said:
Yes this is true....he does need to care of this on his own and be responsible. I have watched him create alot of his problems then sit around and blame others. I helped him in the past out of love...but also due to his sheer cluelessness :perplexed...I wondered how he would EVER make it, but he won't if I keep bailing him out.
Click to expand...
 
pattyr5 said:
Yes this is true....he does need to care of this on his own and be responsible. I have watched him create alot of his problems then sit around and blame others. I helped him in the past out of love...but also due to his sheer cluelessness :perplexed...I wondered how he would EVER make it, but he won't if I keep bailing him out.
Click to expand...

I know a 'business owner':rolleyes: like this.

Please KIM, he was feeling you out to see if you would bail him out....again.:nono::nono:
 
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