"Laying on the Bed Like a Homeless Ninja"

[JFK]

I met this gorgeous Cameroonian guy a few weeks ago.

After a few conversations I realized he's all looks and no brains....his face, body, and style gets him by with a lot of women it seems.

I put him on text-only status after he told me that he doesn't want a full time job and is focusing his time/energy on some networking "business" erplexed

Then one day he called me 10:30am on a weekday. He asked what I was doing, I told him I was at work and he said he just woke up and was thinking about me.....I was like YOU JUST WOKE UP at 10:30am and you're not ashamed to call me at work and tell me that?

So, I put him on flirty text status and last night this text exchange went down:

Him: JFK

Me: Yes baby

Him: I'm bored gorgeous

Me: I'm yours gorgeous

Him: I know sexy.......Pepco (the electric company) just cut off electricity here....I'm laying on the bed like a homeless ninja



Why would he tell me this?
I don't know if it's because he's foreign and doesn't know better....I'm really perplexed...like seriously. He did ALL of the no-no's.........doesn't have a job then tell potential girl that he just woke up late in the morning....confesses that utilities are cut off at home....wtf?

 

[Topsido]

This is a joke right?

Anyways, thanks for the laugh. I'm still giggling.

 

[SlimPickinz]

He's used to women paying his bills. In his mind telling you the lights are off means you will call Pepco, make a payment then drive to his place & drop it low for a homeless nig**

 

[JFK]

This is a joke right?

Anyways, thanks for the laugh. I'm still giggling.

Real life unfortunately.

I felt so bad because I called my girlfriend after reading the text and we laughed on the phone until we literally cried....my stomach was hurting from laughing so much...she said she couldn't breath

Hold up....I'll see if I can upload a screenshot.

 

[JFK]

He's used to women paying his bills. In his mind telling you the lights are off means you will call Pepco, make a payment then drive to his place & drop it low for a homeless nig**

 

[danniegirl]

i love it i might steal this line

im laying on the bed like a homeless ninja

oh wait did he say ninja like the hooded sneaky men or did he say ninja like ninjas in paris
cause i like the thought of a sneaky hooded man in tattered homeless ninja clothing laying across his bed in a ninja pose with only one star to his name

 

[JFK]

i love it i might steal this line

im laying on the bed like a homeless ninja

oh wait did he say ninja like the hooded sneaky men or did he say ninja like ninjas in paris
cause i like the thought of a sneaky hooded man in tattered homeless ninja clothing laying across his bed in a ninja pose with only one star to his name

What da hyal girl?

He said ninja like ninja in Paris......I don't think you can write the real word here

 

[Lucie]

I would just block him. What a loser. Sorry OP. But at least he made you laugh.

 

[deltadreamland]

Right. He'd be blocked. He's not even worth a text.

 

[C@ssandr@]

He doesn't sound like he's worth texting anymore either.

I'm mad that women probably do pay his bills. smh.

 

[Mortons]

Pepco just came and cut off the electricity...like its just a random, regular Friday occurrence I would be freaking the *** out if my utilities were off. I cant even take someone who is unwilling to take care of themselves seriously.

 

[CarLiTa]

LOL he sounds like a hoe'ing golddigger. Goodness.

 

[danniegirl]

What da hyal girl?

He said ninja like ninja in Paris......I don't think you can write the real word here

oh then its not so funny

homeless ninja is funny as hell to me maybe because my 6yo runs around in this ninja costume from 2 years ago all the time its so beat up and frayed lmao

 

[hothair]

RRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

 

[Sosoothing]

I met this gorgeous Cameroonian guy a few weeks ago.

After a few conversations I realized he's all looks and no brains....his face, body, and style gets him by with a lot of women it seems.

I put him on text-only status after he told me that he doesn't want a full time job and is focusing his time/energy on some networking "business" erplexed

Then one day he called me 10:30am on a weekday. He asked what I was doing, I told him I was at work and he said he just woke up and was thinking about me.....I was like YOU JUST WOKE UP at 10:30am and you're not ashamed to call me at work and tell me that?

So, I put him on flirty text status and last night this text exchange went down:

Him: JFK

Me: Yes baby

Him: I'm bored gorgeous

Me: I'm yours gorgeous

Him: I know sexy.......Pepco (the electric company) just cut off electricity here....I'm laying on the bed like a homeless ninja



Why would he tell me this?
I don't know if it's because he's foreign and doesn't know better....I'm really perplexed...like seriously. He did ALL of the no-no's.........doesn't have a job then tell potential girl that he just woke up late in the morning....confesses that utilities are cut off at home....wtf?

Wow...
I assure you, his shamelessness has nothing to do with where he is from.

 

[AyannaDivine]

Hilarious

 

[Naveah2050]

I laughed so hard I snorted ...I don't know what to say?!

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I'm concerned how long you allowed this ninja to take up space in your life.

 

[Mane Event]

Holup...he was demoted to "text status" after you found out this ninja didn't have a JOB, then upgraded to "flirty text status" after he called you at 10:30 at your JOB.

Lawwddd, clearly I have been out of the dating scene for way to long b/c I'm not sure how dat work???

Here's my translation:
Text Status = bordem
Flirty Text Status = Late night fulckery

 

[cheetarah1980]

Why does he have to be Cameroonian. Ugghh.

 

[Kindheart]

i love it i might steal this line

im laying on the bed like a homeless ninja

oh wait did he say ninja like the hooded sneaky men or did he say ninja like ninjas in paris
cause i like the thought of a sneaky hooded man in tattered homeless ninja clothing laying across his bed in a ninja pose with only one star to his name

Hilarious .
He s pathetic though seriously ..i would keep texting him just for a laugh. Lol

 

[CaraWalker]

i would be so offended and insulted that someone like that even thought they could talk to me. having lights cut off is something to be ashamed of.

 

[nyeredzi]

i love it i might steal this line

im laying on the bed like a homeless ninja

oh wait did he say ninja like the hooded sneaky men or did he say ninja like ninjas in paris
cause i like the thought of a sneaky hooded man in tattered homeless ninja clothing laying across his bed in a ninja pose with only one star to his name

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. I guffawed!

 

[God_Favor]

I guess your calling him "baby" and seeming really into him lead him to think he could use you for cash, he probably has that game on lock...."I called because you were on my mind" lol, that the beginning steps of the plan to trick you out of money....go head player, to bad he got the wrong one this time lol

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

I would have texted back an "...." then blocked him and faded to black

 

[sylver2]

how do u downgrade him by texting hey baby & I'm yours. i aint saying that no one im not interested in lol.

 

[ElizaBlue]

Say what? Yeah getting a text like that would have caused the screen on my phone to crack by itself.

 

[Prettymetty]

Is this for real?

 

[vani]

how do u downgrade him by texting hey baby & I'm yours. i aint saying that no one im not interested in lol.

Precisely!! That's the part I don't get.

 

[GoldenRule]

Am I the only one thinking maybe they were doing work in the area and shut people down? They do that quite a bit around here. I mean, I just can't picture him telling you they shut him off for non-pymt all nonchalantly as if they do it every other month.