Sorry I think misunderstood the question at first. Here is something I put in my book feel free to change:
Women who have been saving themselves for their mate like myself with almost no experience with men, look forward to the romance and lovemaking that comes with God’s union. Women and even men who have had very sexually active lifestyles and get married with no time for renewal, often do not have too much to look forward to during the honeymoon. It is often just another vacation. But, for a virgin or a woman who has been celibate and set apart, it is an exciting and fulfilling time when mind, body, and soul can meet. Sexuality and spirituality are so tightly woven together that it truly is a divine connection.
Do not let anyone make you feel like you have a problem because you want to be married. Being married is a blessing from God. Just let God lead you in this area.
We all know it is not hard to get married, but staying together is the key. I could have been married twice before, but I chose to wait on whomever God had for me. I figured if God could give me good health, strength, warm blood running through my veins, air to breathe, a house, food, car, good career, etc., then He has enough wisdom and power to provide the right mate: a man who would love me as if God were loving me Himself. In other words, God would be loving me through my mate and vice versa.
If you are in a relationship that you are ashamed of due to fornication, ask God to help you and your partner become whole so you both can learn and embrace the art of true intimacy which has nothing to do with physical con- nections or contact. This is when spirit and soul become one.
Two people who have been sexually active before marriage do not have the same things to look forward to as the couple who becomes sexually intimate after marriage. These are two different types of experiences. Seek to be kept by God, with the anticipation of divine intimacy that will come through a spiritual union with Him and then others, in that order. Don’t forget to ask God to help you become whole in other areas of your life also.
It’s very interesting that the people who do the most talking are the biggest sinners. Whatever you tell others to do, it is always for you first. Do not get spiritual amnesia about your past and present situations. The devil uses people to take special interest in trying to destroy the character of others and the years of work and time God has invested in them. It is a slap in the face to God when someone tries to curse what He has done and continues to do through your life. God does carry us through so that we have a testimony to tell others about His awesome power. Never give people power over your life. Rebuke the unclean spirit in them and move on. You know the journey that God had to bring you through.They must understand and know that God has the ability and capability to keep them. God can do it.
I remember, at the age twenty-five, I was ashamed to tell people I was saving myself for my mate because just about everyone I knew was sexually active. At this age, it was a big, big struggle, and I had so many successful men whom I considered five-star, who would do just about anything for me. Even at the age of twenty-seven, the one man I wanted, wanted to get married, and God said, “He’s not the one.” I was so mad at God, and I wanted Him to fix him up. God said, “Are you willing to wait for me to fix him up?” My reply was, “No.” He was a little older than me, and I knew fixing him could take a long time because he was set in his ways. I have always liked older men who were established and mature like my father. Waiting on God to give you the one He has for you is the way to go, for He knows what’s best for you. God sends or exposes us to His will, then we must choose to follow His greatness or to follow ourselves. The sum of our lives lies in the choices we make. Seek to choose wisely in every area of your life, and life will be rich and rewarding. Choose with a plan in your head and God in your heart, and you can never lose. When making decisions about marriage, remember: having a common past is good, for it unites your yesterdays. But, common goals are better, they unite your tomorrows.
When I did my dissertation, it was on the topic “God’s Keeping Power.” His ability and capability to keep us beyond our own comprehension is truly miraculous. So, if someone says they have been saving themselves sexually for their mate whether it’s been one month or one year, do not give the credit to the devil by saying they must be funny or something. This is truly an insult to God, especially when it comes from other Christians. Just be honest that this is unfamiliar to you but not impossible for God.
God has the ability to keep your emotions locked up. I am for real. I did not know what “being in heat” meant until I became twenty-five years old, and then God took it away at twenty-five. I guess He was trying to give me a taste of what it felt like. I learned at the age of twenty-nine what a “booty call” was after another female told me. So, God will really cover you, and He definitely has the power to keep your sexual potency locked up so that you do not feel anything, even on the days when you wish you could.
Now, of course, people can have sex whether they are in heat or not because there are other ways to get aroused. My point is that God kept my emotions so they would not overtake me. And, yes, of course, I still get the urge, even though God has my body under His subjection, but I do not get it every five minutes. As I have gotten older, I have learned how to handle my passions. The Bible calls this self-control. In other words, you know it’s there, but it’s not. God gives you the power to transcend the feelings. He keeps you busy so you burn the energy in other ways. Trust me on this one. You have a sense of your sexuality, but it is dormant and not fully activated. Now, it can become activated by being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The key is preventive maintenance and not trusting yourself but trusting God to keep you. God is a good Father because He knows how to keep us busy.
I have come this far by faith believing and leaning on the Lord, trusting in His Word, and He has never failed me yet. I do not try to test myself to see if I am strong by being in the wrong places. I just take one day and one moment at a time and ask God to help me hold on until my change comes. In doing so, I know myself and what I can and cannot handle during times of urges and vulnerability. I am true to myself and try to avoid things and people who will lead me into temptation.
