Ladies How Would You Handle This Situation Between Your Man And Your Daughter?

[Evolving78]

T

It is completely unreasonable to expect a man to feel familial toward a grown woman he don't know from no where and who keeps waving ass in his face. Like, come on, now. Dis tew much.

The reason the nuclear family was successful for so long was because it took these factors into account.

Wait hold on! The daughter is off limits. That's it. And did these people just meet yesterday? I'm assuming these people got to know each other and their families before they decided to shack up. My thing is could you be with somebody that told you they wanted to have sex with your child? Because y'all trying to make a strong case for dude and his weakness.

 

[Honey Bee]

And what if the daughter didn't dress like that, and the man told his partner he was attracted to her? What do you do then? Tell her to put a big coat on and wear a mask? Ya'll tripping!

Now that's an entirely different situation. That's 'the steak in the freezer'. If the steak in the freezer got his mouth watering, he's a fiend and you can't take him no where.

 

[FemmeFatale]

T

Wait hold on! The daughter is off limits. That's it. And did these people just meet yesterday? I'm assuming these people got to know each other and their families before they decided to shack up. My thing is could you be with somebody that told you they wanted to have sex with your child? Because y'all trying to make a strong case for dude and his weakness.

No I don't expect that at all, I'd move on from the guy as well BUT I'd also let me daughter know that she needs to cover up more in my house.

 

[Honey Bee]

T

Wait hold on! The daughter is off limits. That's it. And did these people just meet yesterday? I'm assuming these people got to know each other and their families before they decided to shack up. My thing is could you be with somebody that told you they wanted to have sex with your child? Because y'all trying to make a strong case for dude and his weakness.

I'm assuming the man didn't help raise her. The way it's written, I'm assuming that this relationship started sometime after the girl was out of the house/ within the last few years.

 

[Evolving78]

And regardless you already know if your daughter is that heaux over there! You know your child's integrity, you know her way of thinking, so I would probably help her thot behind out before I let her move in, but that's no excuse for dude! He can have all of the thoughts he wants, but if he let that be entered into my mental, then there is no way I could stay with him. No friend, no nothing! There will always be another man out there.

 

[Evolving78]

I'm a mother. I have a daughter. I was married to her father. It didn't work out. my child is going to be around. I can't be with a man that I have to separate my life(children) from. And I'm just not understanding why this isn't a closed case.

 

[LBoogie85]

Is it really that hard for a man to view his long time (I'm assuming since they live together) girlfriend's daughter as family? Some people have really low expectations for men.

So let's say the man in question shared a home with his brother, as roommates. His brother has a long lost daughter that he has never met that has to move into their home for a while. The niece dresses and is shaped exactly like this girl. Is it now reasonable that he would need to move out to keep from "tempting" himself? Does it make sense that the pressure of looking at his niece is too much for him to bear? After all, she is basically a stranger to him and he does not know her as family.

I think it's common sense to cover up when you have male company in the home but this man's inability to control himself is pathetic, especially from a 40+ year old man (again, assuming).

 

[Honey Bee]

This place is just too pc sometimes. You may even start to wonder if you're tripping.

Not just this place, the whole world.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

And regardless you already know if your daughter is that heaux over there! You know your child's integrity, you know her way of thinking, so I would probably help her thot behind out before I let her move in, but that's no excuse for dude! He can have all of the thoughts he wants, but if he let that be entered into my mental, then there is no way I could stay with him. No friend, no nothing! There will always be another man out there.

Let me know if I'm reading this correctly, He can have impure thoughts about your daughter. You just don't want to know about it.

 

[fluffyforever]

I wouldn't want to live with my husband and another sexy guy walking around the house with his eggplant imprint showing 24/7. Yes I'm an adult, but can't control my thoughts. I like to keep my fantasies out of reach, like with celebrities.

 

[Evolving78]

Let me know if I'm reading this correctly, He can have impure thoughts about your daughter. You just don't want to know about it.

I don't know how to dignify this with an answer.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I don't know how to dignify this with an answer.

I'm asking you what the bolded below means. I didn't change your words so it should be easy to clarify.

He can have all of the thoughts he wants, but if he let that be entered into my mental, then there is no way I could stay with him.

 

[Honey Bee]

Let me know if I'm reading this correctly, He can have impure thoughts about your daughter. You just don't want to know about it.

Basically. I actually think dude in the op is a stand up guy for recognizing his limits, verbalizing them, and removing himself from the situation. That's better than a guy who isn't so self-reflective, tries to deny it/ fight it, and ends up starting a (consensual) relationship with your (adult) daughter.

 

[Evolving78]

I'm asking you what the bolded below means. I didn't change your words so it should be easy to clarify.

I know what I said, but I don't know if i should take your question serious, or be an A Hole and answer it that way.

 

[frizzy]

Basically. I actually think dude in the op is a stand up guy for recognizing his limits, verbalizing them, and removing himself from the situation. That's better than a guy who isn't so self-reflective, tries to deny it/ fight it, and ends up starting a (consensual) relationship with your (adult) daughter.

I haven't read through all the responses, but my feelings are similar to Honey Bee's. The boyfriend sees "trouble", whether it would be on his part or if he see's baby girl as trouble waiting to happen. Whichever it is, he's not gonna stick around and wait for it to happen. He is demonstrating good common sense and foresight.

Maybe he's ready to get rid of Ma and just using this as an excuse.

 

[Evolving78]

I haven't read through all the responses, but my feelings are similar to Honey Bee's. The boyfriend sees "trouble", whether it would be on his part or if he see's baby girl as trouble waiting to happen. Whichever it is, he's not gonna stick around and wait for it to happen. He is demonstrating good common sense and foresight.

Maybe he's ready to get rid of Ma and just using this as an excuse.

I don't think anyone is questioning questioning that. That's great his was honest and wanted to remove himself from the situation, but now that it's out there, do you continue a relationship with this man?

 

[frizzy]

I don't think anyone is questioning questioning that. That's great his was honest and wanted to remove himself from the situation, but now that it's out there, do you continue a relationship with this man?

The daughter is just one of hundreds of women that he might find attractive so does the fact that he can find her daughter attractive--but wants no parts of her--make him an unredeemable arse?

I don't like the idea of momma's boyfriends and underaged girl children (especially) living in the same house, so I would be cool with him moving out, but I don't think that him being human is a deal breaker. I do recognize that the way he worded it is very off putting, though.

 

[Evolving78]

The daughter is just one of hundreds of women that he might find attractive so does the fact that he can find her daughter attractive--but wants no parts of her--make him an unredeemable arse?

I don't like the idea of momma's boyfriends and underaged girl children (especially) living in the same house, so I would be cool with him moving out, but I don't think that him being human is a deal breaker. I do recognize that the way he worded it is very off putting, though.

If you tell me you wanna have sex with my daughter, that's a deal breaker. It's ok to be human, just not when it comes to my flesh and blood. That's Someone I gave birth to. She isn't just some grown woman in my house. There is no separation in that.

 

[giigii613]

The fact he even told the mother about his attraction to the daughter and labeled it as "temptation" gives me pause. It seems like he is trying to cause a rift in the bond of these two women and has a tacky presentation. Why did he not just say hey I am not ready to be in this relationship because I am still interested in dating other women so I am going to leave. Why leave and try to place insecurities inside the mother and/or daughter? He lame af.

 

[qchelle]

The fact he even told the mother about his attraction to the daughter and labeled it as "temptation" gives me pause. It seems like he is trying to cause a rift in the bond of these two women and has a tacky presentation. Why did he not just say hey I am not ready to be in this relationship because I am still interested in dating other women so I am going to leave. Why leave and try to place insecurities inside the mother and/or daughter? He lame af.

Yea, that "I'll be back once she leaves" is bs. Just say I'm leaving cuz other women, bye.

 

[fluffyforever]

The fact he even told the mother about his attraction to the daughter and labeled it as "temptation" gives me pause. It seems like he is trying to cause a rift in the bond of these two women and has a tacky presentation. Why did he not just say hey I am not ready to be in this relationship because I am still interested in dating other women so I am going to leave. Why leave and try to place insecurities inside the mother and/or daughter? He lame af.

Him not wanting to be exposed to a woman dressing like she dresses in his own house doesn't mean he isn't ready for a relationship. Maybe he regularly sees some parts of her daughter that isn't right for a man in a relationship with her mother to see and wants to remove himself from further viewings.

Why should he be subjected to see things he doesn't want in his own house? It's not like he could tell the woman to cover up- people would call him mysoginistic. It's not like he can tell her to move out - it would strain the relationship with the mother.

Maybe there was a better way he could describe his thoughts on the matter, but that doesn't mean his feelings and his desires for his home environment should be ignored because he used a word you don't like.

 

[frizzy]

If you tell me you wanna have sex with my daughter, that's a deal breaker. It's ok to be human, just not when it comes to my flesh and blood. That's Someone I gave birth to. She isn't just some grown woman in my house. There is no separation in that.

I agree!

 

[Evolving78]

Him not wanting to be exposed to a woman dressing like she dresses in his own house doesn't mean he isn't ready for a relationship. Maybe he regularly sees some parts of her daughter that isn't right for a man in a relationship with her mother to see and wants to remove himself from further viewings.

Why should he be subjected to see things he doesn't want in his own house? It's not like he could tell the woman to cover up- people would call him mysoginistic. It's not like he can tell her to move out - it would strain the relationship with the mother.

Maybe there was a better way he could describe his thoughts on the matter, but that doesn't mean his feelings and his desires for his home environment should be ignored because he used a word you don't like.

All he needed to say was tell that girl to put some clothes on. Her dressing like that in a shared home isn't respectful. He he went to another level when he said he was tempted and needed to leave the house.

 

[Evolving78]

The fact he even told the mother about his attraction to the daughter and labeled it as "temptation" gives me pause. It seems like he is trying to cause a rift in the bond of these two women and has a tacky presentation. Why did he not just say hey I am not ready to be in this relationship because I am still interested in dating other women so I am going to leave. Why leave and try to place insecurities inside the mother and/or daughter? He lame af.

That's an interesting way of looking at.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Basically. I actually think dude in the op is a stand up guy for recognizing his limits, verbalizing them, and removing himself from the situation. That's better than a guy who isn't so self-reflective, tries to deny it/ fight it, and ends up starting a (consensual) relationship with your (adult) daughter.

ITA - He's handling it like a grown up.

There's a thread about a husband keeping from his wife that her niece that moved in with them was up in the spot in her hoe wear and rubbing against him. He didn't tell his wife because she's got a temper and he was scared of a blow up which says something about that relationship. He ended up having sex with the niece and now she's demanding money to not tell her aunt. No doubt he absolutely should have kept his dyk in his pants but he also should have opened his mouth and let his wife know what was going on in her house the first time the niece came at him.

I know what I said, but I don't know if i should take your question serious, or be an A Hole and answer it that way.

I know what you said too. Everything is cool if your bf finds your daughters appearance distracting as long as he doesn't tell you about it.

I'm not a fan of people keeping secrets that have the potential of going seriously sideways especially under my roof.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Thank you for what? Lol If a woman came to her man, and admitted that she was lusting after his son to the point that she was so hot and bothered she had to leave, I promise you she'd be demoted to hoe status in his mind. She'd either be told to get to stepping or be told to gone ahead and get her some. I don't know why y'all think men have all the right answers.
.

If your man is fine with dyks other than his own, in his house, flapping around in your face, then you were already community property/hoe status in his mind and all of this is a moot point.

Not necessarily directed at you but I find the poll about how many women here who claim to be with Alpha men confusing if folks think something like this would go unchallenged.

 

[Evolving78]

ITA - He's handling it like a grown up.

There's a thread about a husband keeping from his wife that her niece that moved in with them was up in the spot in her hoe wear and rubbing against him. He didn't tell his wife because she's got a temper and he was scared of a blow up which says something about that relationship. He ended up having sex with the niece and now she's demanding money to not tell her aunt. No doubt he absolutely should have kept his dyk in his pants but he also should have opened his mouth and let his wife know what was going on in her house the first time the niece came at him.


I know what you said too. Everything is cool if your bf finds your daughters appearance distracting as long as he doesn't tell you about it.

I'm not a fan of people keeping secrets that have the potential of going seriously sideways especially under my roof.

It's not about keeping secrets and I'm still not sure if you are being facetious. It's like you are purposely trying to pervert my point. You are taking what I said out of context. And you seem very intelligent, so I see nothing but malice coming from your question. I've been pretty consistent with my stance, so I see what you are doing there. Once something has been put into the atmosphere, it totally changes the dynamic. I'm not a mind reader and I would never be cool with a man I have around my daughter secretly lusting after her.

You bringing up another story like this and putting blame on the niece, shows where your head is at in this manner. You are making a case for a man that didn't display self control, and betrayed his family by crossing the line. You put blame on the niece, like that somehow justifies the husband/uncle.

 

[LivingInPeace]

If your man is fine with dyks other than his own, in his house, flapping around in your face, then you were already community property/hoe status in his mind and all of this is a moot point.

Not necessarily directed at you but I find the poll about how many women here who claim to be with Alpha men confusing if folks think something like this would go unchallenged.

I don't agree with you on this one. I think a lot of men don't think that "his" woman could be tempted by a physical attraction to another man.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I don't agree with you on this one. I think a lot of men don't think that "his" woman could be tempted by a physical attraction to another man.

The part you're missing is that she has spoken up and said "hey there's another dyk flapping in my face and I see it as a potential problem." There's no guesswork involved if the words have been spoken.

 

[LivingInPeace]

The part you're missing is that she has spoken up and said "hey there's another dyk flapping in my face and I see it as a potential problem." There's no guesswork involved if the words have been spoken.

Okay. True.