Keeping Up Your Appearance

Sade'

Sade'

Well-Known Member
I know it is very important to keep your appearance up just for your own sake. But mega important when you are in a relationship.

So why am I falling off?? I used to be on POINT! I am so mad at myself. I have been wearing a bun for the longest time. I just put lip gloss on and I wait til my nails and feet look horrific before I get them done. I have not had my eyebrows done in months and I can't remember the last time I stepped foot in a spa.
I am just recycling clothes from years past and my lingerie game is WHACK. I need new sleepwear.... just ridiculous.

I love to look cute I admire women who keep themselves up. In the last year in my mind I felt like it was ok. I have been in a "take me as I am mode" trying to keep it simple, which translates to pure laziness.

It hit me last weekend when we went out and I had recently got a full sew which was much longer than my real hair and I had some new make up on and a new outfit. My DH was allll in my face as if we had just met. IT made me feel so brand new. He was so amazed at my transformation. He said WOW u look so hollywood tonight. U are killing everyone in this party. Kisses and whispers in my ear all night.

Then I fell RIGHT back off on monday morning. :wallbash: So I ask you ladies WTH is wrong with me?

How do you ladies maintain all aspects of your appearance at all times?
 
Well, money is tight right now, but I always make sure I'm wearing a nice outfit and my hair is done before I leave the house b/c you never know who you may run into. I think of running into someone I dislike as motivation :)

It usually takes me a couple of minutes to do find something I like, but I make it work. Just simple and classic is what I prefer. I don't wear makeup on a regular basis, but I do like wearing lipgloss and just a little mascara to make my eyes pop. It's a nice simple look that can do wonders. I'm eating better and drinking a lot of water, so that helps. And working out always manages to do the trick. My inspiration to look and feel good comes from wanting to stay healthy and looking at beautiful people on the street. I also think of how thin I used to be and that helps.
 
phynestone said:
Well, money is tight right now, but I always make sure I'm wearing a nice outfit and my hair is done before I leave the house b/c you never know who you may run into. I think of running into someone I dislike as motivation :)

It usually takes me a couple of minutes to do find something I like, but I make it work. Just simple and classic is what I prefer. I don't wear makeup on a regular basis, but I do like wearing lipgloss and just a little mascara to make my eyes pop. It's a nice simple look that can do wonders. I'm eating better and drinking a lot of water, so that helps. And working out always manages to do the trick. My inspiration to look and feel good comes from wanting to stay healthy and looking at beautiful people on the street. I also think of how thin I used to be and that helps.
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OMG this is my FEAR! LOL, I always say to myself "now what if I run into ole girl! I want to look fab when she sees me." Thanks phynestone. Let me get BACK on my job.
 
I also wanted to add that I try to look good for myself. When you look good, you feel good and will likely radiate good energy. I used to not care about my appearance and say people should accept me the way I am, but I've learned appearances DO count.
 
Sade' said:
I know it is very important to keep your appearance up just for your own sake. But mega important when you are in a relationship.

So why am I falling off?? I used to be on POINT! I am so mad at myself. I have been wearing a bun for the longest time. I just put lip gloss on and I wait til my nails and feet look horrific before I get them done. I have not had my eyebrows done in months and I can't remember the last time I stepped foot in a spa.
I am just recycling clothes from years past and my lingerie game is WHACK. I need new sleepwear.... just ridiculous.

I love to look cute I admire women who keep themselves up. In the last year in my mind I felt like it was ok. I have been in a "take me as I am mode" trying to keep it simple, which translates to pure laziness.

It hit me last weekend when we went out and I had recently got a full sew which was much longer than my real hair and I had some new make up on and a new outfit. My DH was allll in my face as if we had just met. IT made me feel so brand new. He was so amazed at my transformation. He said WOW u look so hollywood tonight. U are killing everyone in this party. Kisses and whispers in my ear all night.

Then I fell RIGHT back off on monday morning. :wallbash: So I ask you ladies WTH is wrong with me?

How do you ladies maintain all aspects of your appearance at all times?
Click to expand...

Girl...Ain't nothing wrong with you. Just like any habit...it takes time to make something second nature.

You obviously have it in you evidenced by how your DH couldn't see past you or keep his hands off of you. Anytime a man tells you that you are killing all the other women...gurrrllll...

My advice is to start slow then add on as you go. You already wear lipgloss everyday, so start incorporating mascara. Once that becomes a habit, add eyeliner, blush, etc. Before you know it, you will be stepping out fresh faced every day.

In times of your clothing and undies...What has helped me is that EVERY month, I dedicate one day (usually a saturday) to get my manicure and pedicure, and take myself shoping. On this shoping trip I usually buy 1 matching bra & panty set, 1-2 make-up items, a cute dress or some other piece of clothing or shoes (I try hard to search for sales), and resupply anything that I am close to running out of. I started doing this in 2009 and it has truly helped me step my game up.
 
sometimes i feel like i'm "on" too much. like i know my SO appreciates me, thinks i look good/dress well. but since i do it DAILY the compliments are not always there (but he recently told me if i ask for it, he's not giving it--lol, i'll come up to him when i know i look bad & be like "how do i look? :angel:). anyways. i think looking decent daily is ok (nice jeans/slacks & a cute top--or casual dress-- w/ hair neat & minimal make up). & then maybe once or twice looking bad. it spices it up & he'll appreciate it. i don't see you in person but your description doesn't sound awful to me. i wear clear nail polish & do my nails twice a month (so they always at least look neat, if not colorful/done)

as far as lingerie, experiment with button down shirts & lacy panties & bras.

set aside extra time in the morning (30 mins). it will def help you step your game up. if i'm up early & have time to kill, i fix myself up.

& doing it for yourself helps too, as well as other girls. i love compliments, & i get them throughout the day when i do myself up (from girls & friends), it makes me feel good that other girls admire my style

:)
 
Mai Tai said:
Girl...Ain't nothing wrong with you. Just like any habit...it takes time to make something second nature.

You obviously have it in you evidenced by how your DH couldn't see past you or keep his hands off of you. Anytime a man tells you that you are killing all the other women...gurrrllll...

My advice is to start slow then add on as you go. You already wear lipgloss everyday, so start incorporating mascara. Once that becomes a habit, add eyeliner, blush, etc. Before you know it, you will be stepping out fresh faced every day.

In times of your clothing and undies...What has helped me is that EVERY month, I dedicate one day (usually a saturday) to get my manicure and pedicure, and take myself shoping. On this shoping trip I usually buy 1 matching bra & panty set, 1-2 make-up items, a cute dress or some other piece of clothing or shoes (I try hard to search for sales), and resupply anything that I am close to running out of. I started doing this in 2009 and it has truly helped me step my game up.
Click to expand...

Thank u Mai Tai...very good advice.
 
My mom used to tell me , even if you don't have a lot of money don't go out looking like it." I try to live by that if I am with someone or not. I'm looking good for myself first. I like looking pretty whether someone notices or not. I notice.
 
Now this is one of the few advantages of being in a LDR :lachen: You can actually afford to look your very best around him "at all times."

I hear you OP. Men really do appreciate it.
 
LOL visit the Makeup and skincare forum for some ideas :lachen:. Sometimes I feel being on this board will burn a hole in my pockets, but its so helpful to have tips on improving your appearance all in one place.
 
^^ I agree!! 'Tis why i sent this message out. I knew Iwould get some great feedback and a much needed pick me up!

As a matter of fact I just came from getting my nails done and a pedicure. Next up...hair and eyebrows.
 
Sade' said:
^^ I agree!! 'Tis why i sent this message out. I knew Iwould get some great feedback and a much needed pick me up!

As a matter of fact I just came from getting my nails done and a pedicure. Next up...hair and eyebrows.
Click to expand...

There are great tips on here and it was a much needed pick me up for me! In the past month, I've purchased about 7 bottles of nail polish, foundation, eyeliner and blush and I haven't been wearing any of the above for maybe the past year.

Sometimes I think it's just a nice confidence boost to do a little something for yourself and remember to keep yourself up.
 
Oh wow this is a BIG one for me. I fell off majorly 2 years ago. When I met my ex her literally thought I was the most gorgeous women he ever met, first I thought he was saying that but then he pointed out how he took days to approach me because of my looks. I didn't do much, just took care of my skin, my hair and body.

Got pregnant, COMPLETELY let myself go. Skin looked horrible, I wore a SCARF for a whole damn year. My feet horrible. He actually was ok with it because now for sure nobody was going to try and talk to me:lachen:After I had the baby, I still looked mess. I remember people use to look at us and think "what the hell is she doing with him" and at that time it was "what the hell is he doing with her!" can you believe that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So it taught me a lesson, take care of myself. When I do, I look good and when I look good I attract good things, good people, good men. Because at one point I only stayed with him because I felt self concious:( Thats all. because if I was on my regualar Halle Berry type game I would have left his hill billy *** long time ago!

Whooo, had to vent.
 
I totally feel you, OP! Except my excuse has been that I'm pregnant. :ohwell: This fatigue is something else!!! I know that shouldn't be an excuse, though, because there are many fly pregnant women all over the place, even on this board!

It's not that I've completely fallen off. I just don't make the effort as much as I used to. :sad: Before I would wear make-up pretty much every day of the week. Now i'm lucky if I do it twice a week! :ohwell: It's pretty darn ridiculous. :nono:

I've been pretty bad with my hair, too! :nono: So I went ahead and got a sew in a few weeks ago. But it's even hard for me to maintain THAT on my own! :nono: I hope my SO doesn't lose faith in me. :lol: I will get back to the fly chick that he fell in love with someday!

The other issue that I'm having is I'm in between maternity clothes and my regular clothes. So it's really hard for me to find things to wear right now that flatters me. :ohwell: I can't wait to actually get the big stomach so I can actually have clothes to wear!
 
It helps to automate appointments. I get my eyebrows done every 3 weeks and make the next appointment before I leave and put in my I-phone calendar. Get my nails done every two weeks. Like someone also said set aside a day for doing things like shopping, nails, gym, etc. It is worth the effort. Also, a super organized closet goes a long way. I love feeling pretty for myself and my husband but I will admit that I don't like the extra attention from others, makes me feel self-concious, that is why on occasion I go way under the radar.
 
OP, nothing is wrong with you. I know that I tend to be comfy around the house. DH sat me down once and got mad at me when my sister and her family came over and I was in my pajamas. So, I make it a point to where dresses or at least wear jeans and a tee. While I don't wear makeup when we aren't doing anything, when I know we are going out...I put on my makeup, curl up my hair, put on some smell goods...and appreciate the attn he gives me.

I do have to do better personally in how I look when I go out in public. The grocery store doesn't count (I rarely see folk I know). I think when it gets warmer and I wear sandals, tees, dresses, and jeans, I'll look better.
 
Thanks guys! Each day I am getting back into "me". I feel like I am worth it. I have a this weird habit of saving things like hair nail and other appts until a special occasion. Even my fav makeup. I say to myself "oh I will wait and do all that for a special occasion." Meanwhile I am looking like a bum. It's to the point where I can't even be spontaneous after work. My friends will hit me up for an impromptu happy hour or dinner and I shy away b/c I just look a mess. Not wanting to be out on the scene. AND in my mind I know they look fly. But like I said, I got my nails and feet done yesterday, I actually groomed my hair last night so it looks nice and neat today and I applied some make up and my fav MAC lip gloss this am. I feel really good! DH even helped me pick out a cute outfit for work and I grabbed my fav right hand ring. I love cocktail rings...SO since its friday I am ready for that impromptu happy hour!
Day by day...
 
Filmatic said:
My mom used to tell me , even if you don't have a lot of money don't go out looking like it." I try to live by that if I am with someone or not. I'm looking good for myself first. I like looking pretty whether someone notices or not. I notice.
Click to expand...



That is a good one, but i want to save my nice clothes for when I go out. so I dress comfortable to go to the shops etc- the result- I always feel like I look like I have no money.

I don't know what to do really. Especially cos all my nice shoes are heeled and I can't be bothered to wear them in the car drive my son to school etc etc. I feel fake. I am thinking of buying some real nice cheeeaaap clothes for this reason. Well I attempted this and ended up buying baggy jeans and hoodies so I can feel comfortable. But I'll give it another go!!!
 
Quote from guy friend

Nope, but you can find something attractive about most women (perfect examples, some men love thick women, some men love skinny women, some men love needed women, some men love independent women), preferences are different but men arent usually the ones that place the highest value on physical appearance, women usually do that. (Women are much ... harder on each other than men are but, keep it up yall force each other to constantly keep up, we just enjoy the show!lol). Unless the nature of the attraction is only physical, then it doesnt matter if shes good, bad, married or single.... Its not a concern of most men to identify why the attraction is there. Only to satisfy it, then when you cant figure out why you're attracted to her but cant control it, then it drives into a whole nother ball park!lol
Click to expand...

I know women like to look and feel sexy at all times but this made me wonder just how much men care about the "extra" stuff. My brother told me as long as his wife keep her hair done he dont care about the other stuff she do. She's beautiful regardless (like Alicia Keys with flawless skin).
 
Last edited:
hopeful said:
It helps to automate appointments. I get my eyebrows done every 3 weeks and make the next appointment before I leave and put in my I-phone calendar. Get my nails done every two weeks. Like someone also said set aside a day for doing things like shopping, nails, gym, etc. It is worth the effort. Also, a super organized closet goes a long way. I love feeling pretty for myself and my husband but I will admit that I don't like the extra attention from others, makes me feel self-concious, that is why on occasion I go way under the radar.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the tip! That's a great idea. :yep:
 
hopeful said:
It helps to automate appointments. I get my eyebrows done every 3 weeks and make the next appointment before I leave and put in my I-phone calendar. Get my nails done every two weeks. Like someone also said set aside a day for doing things like shopping, nails, gym, etc. It is worth the effort. Also, a super organized closet goes a long way. I love feeling pretty for myself and my husband but I will admit that I don't like the extra attention from others, makes me feel self-concious, that is why on occasion I go way under the radar.
Click to expand...


Loving the automated appointments idea. It makes soooooooo much sense.:yep:
 
Sometimes I think being single is keeping me skinny :lol:. All 5 of my good friends who are now in serious relationships have put on 15 to 20 love pounds within 1 to 2 years. I dont tell them this but its not acceptable IMO cuz they havent even walked down the aisle yet :ohwell: Im going to try my hardest not for this to happen to me.
 
sometimes you do slip up. Try getting your eyebrows done/hair done/ appointments or shopping with a friend. that way, you or friend can constantly remind each that you need to keep up your appearance.

I usually get my eyebrows done with my mom or sister, and shopping with my bestie
 
A few years ago I bought a book called Frumpy to Foxy in 15 Minutes Flat and it helped me tremendously . . . it's full of simple tips to help you look your best without massive efforts. Also, I watch a lot of What Not to Wear, How Do I Look, and makeover episodes o f Oprah and when they show that hidden footage/before pictures, I always cringe because I know that there are times when I've looked that bad :nono: So whenever I'm tempted to go out looking any kinda way, I say to myself, is there anything else I can put on that is easy and will make me look/feel better?

Today was a perfect example. I went to the gym in the am with my bestie. After we worked out I was going to take the bus to go to my hair appointment. But then I thought about it - do I really want to come out of the salon with my hair looking great but wearing my baggy, stinky sweats and sneakers? :rolleyes: So I took about 20 minutes to go home, put on some jeans, a sweater and some nice flats. Voila! I was able to walk out of that salon with my head held high (instead of trying to not be seen by others in public. *lol*)

If I'm really in a rush (especially in the mornings), I will just apply some eyeliner, mascara, and toss on some gloss. Not a lot, but makes a big difference (at least in how I feel :yep:)
 
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