KEEPERS OF HOUSE

[Ladybelle]

This is a spin-off of to the cook & clean thread posted earlier & is for the married ladies.

So, after two years of marriage- I've noticed my husband is different when the house is kept clean vs when it is not. The differences in him aren't blatant, they are more subtle. He's a lil' nicer, a lil' more affectionate, a lil more peaceful and more apt to do his chores. I wonder if a clean house really affects a man's attitude or just my man's??

And, in addition to that- even though we live in a new school type of society, most married women who have been married for more than 10 years tell me that it is my main responsibilty to keep the house clean. Even if I have two children, even if I work a full-time job too. It's nice that he helps but ultimately it's up to me or else it won't get done right. Do you married ladies agree with that?

Lastly, I'll go ahead and be honest here- Keeping the house clean is a J-O-B for me, and have yet to find a method that does not keep me from having to get up early Saturday morning and spend 3-4 hours cleaning. Any suggestions would be wonderful, especially from women who have small children. I like to keep my man happy.We like keeping each other happy and this is the main area I need to improve in. I got the cooking down pat though!!

Thanks for your response!

 

[GodsPromises]

www.flylady.net. This has been a godsend for me. Check it out. You don't have to follow everything but the site is great. Also I don't subscribe to her emails because there is alot. I just go on the site and the message board and read and get ideas.

Her philosophy is to first get rid of the attitude of perfection and a little clean house is a blessing and better than nothing.

I work full time outside of the house and I go to school three night a week. Plus wife and mother of a 16 son. With all of that I have been able to maintain my house and keep it clean and neat.

 

[KissyKissyLuv]

Have you heard of Fly Lady? Some of my friends use this site for ideas on what to do to keep their houses and lives in check.

 

[Ladybelle]

Thanks Lady R- I will check it out. I'm willing to give anything I try.

 

[GodsPromises]

I live by flylady. Let me know if you need some idea and tips.

 

[nappystorm]

I love Fly Lady also but I would NOT sign up for those email reminders...

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

This is a spin-off of to the cook & clean thread posted earlier & is for the married ladies.

So, after two years of marriage- I've noticed my husband is different when the house is kept clean vs when it is not. The differences in him aren't blatant, they are more subtle. He's a lil' nicer, a lil' more affectionate, a lil more peaceful and more apt to do his chores. I wonder if a clean house really affects a man's attitude or just my man's??

And, in addition to that- even though we live in a new school type of society, most married women who have been married for more than 10 years tell me that it is my main responsibilty to keep the house clean. Even if I have two children, even if I work a full-time job too. It's nice that he helps but ultimately it's up to me or else it won't get done right. Do you married ladies agree with that?

Lastly, I'll go ahead and be honest here- Keeping the house clean is a J-O-B for me, and have yet to find a method that does not keep me from having to get up early Saturday morning and spend 3-4 hours cleaning. Any suggestions would be wonderful, especially from women who have small children. I like to keep my man happy.We like keeping each other happy and this is the main area I need to improve in. I got the cooking down pat though!!

Thanks for your response!

Open it up to discussion. Whoever else thinks YOU should be cleaning is not married to YOUR husband. Tell the family that x-rules and scheduling is going to be used to keep the house clean and abide by it. Enforce it. Tell them it will free up time for you all to go to the park, out to dinner, a movie during the week etc. Whenever it gets dirty from them not cleaning, let it get wretched and filthy. Ignore it. When he asks you what is up, remind him that cleaning is a family-shared activity. No joke!

 

[Bunny77]

Hire Merry Maids.

 

[Butterfly08]

Open it up to discussion. Whoever else thinks YOU should be cleaning is not married to YOUR husband. Tell the family that x-rules and scheduling is going to be used to keep the house clean and abide by it. Enforce it. Tell them it will free up time for you all to go to the park, out to dinner, a movie during the week etc. Whenever it gets dirty from them not cleaning, let it get wretched and filthy. Ignore it. When he asks you what is up, remind him that cleaning is a family-shared activity. No joke!

I agree, but I think OP will need to get the cooperation and agreement of DH for it to work. Do you mean that DH AND the kids should be involved, or just the kids? If DH is to be involved, he will need to agree, otherwise it will become a nagging or batle of wills. I do think depending upon the ages of the kids they should have regular responsibilities. Sometimes we women kill ourselves trying to do it all.

I also believe there should be equity in chores, especially if both spouses are working full time. If the woman agrees to tend to the house, there should be regular chores the man is responsible for as well, be it keeping the cars in working order, maintaining the yard, handling and/or coordinating all repairs. Just some ideas.

The older I get, the more traditional I realize I am. Still, I'm not with the woman working from the time she gets up until the time she goes to bed, just because she's a woman. While the husband kicks his feet up and watches the news......

Off my soapbox now. Flylady definitely inspired me when I was starting on my homekeeping journey.

 

[Ladybelle]

We divided up the chores when we first got married, but me and my oldest daughter are the only ones who actually do ours. My youngest son is too small to help out. DH is to do the bathrooms & laundry but he lets it get so out of control to the point where I'm like- "enough already" and I do it. I tried to just see how long it would take before he did it and I was amazed! Piles of laundry and ring around the toilet ( I CANNOT STAND A RING AROUND THE TOILET)... It's gotten to the point where you know what, I"ll just do it to avoid the confusion and arguments over house-keeping.

It's kind of crazy- it's not about HIM so much as it is about the dang house being clean. It just feels better- the whole family functions better in a clean house. But, I'm to the point of exhaustion. I either let it slide til Saturday or I get off of work and have to put in another shift. I do the dishes daily a long with a couple of other "musts" but it would be nice if the whole house could be kept clean on a continous basis.

My husband doesn't pressure me to do it, in fact when he comes home from work he usually tells me to come join him on the recliner and not worry about it, but I can't relax in the chaos. He says it doesn't bother him, but I know it does. Like I said in the first post, he doesn't complain but i've observed him in both a clean home vs a unclean one and there is a difference. I think the whole family functions better in an uncluttered environment.

Sorry to ramble but I'm at a crossroads:Try to be superwoman or just say f-it and only do my part. If my husband doesn't do his- just let the laundry pile up until he gets to it and try to stomach a nasty bathroom??

I'm going to give fly lady a try- i saved the sight to my favs list. I'll give it a try b/c if I can do it without stressing about it, I will - like most women.

Thanks for opening it up to discussion!

 

[GodsPromises]

Sorry this is long but I wanted to give you an idea that it can be done!

Here is my Fly lady routine.

Mornings:

1. Get up use bathroom, brush teeth
2. Go to Kitchen start coffee
3. Laundry room start washing machine ( clothes had been placed in machine night before so all I have to do is push the button)
4. Wash face, take shower
5. Get dress
6. Go back to downstairs open curtains and blinds.
7. Put last nights dishes away
8. Get coffee
9. Swish the guest bathroom
10. Put on makeup and do ( or put on) hair
11. Swish Master bathroom
12. Start car
13. Put washed clothes in dryer
14. Off to work I go

It seems alot but I get up at 7:15 a.m and I am out the door at 8:30 a.m.

My evenings is touch and go because on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesday I have class. Mondays and Tuesdays I don't get home until 9:00 - 10:00 p.m. and Wednesday around 6:30 p.m. so I don't have alot that I do in the evenings.

Night

1. Dishes, either dishwasher, hand or my son does the dishes.
2. Wipe down counters and stove even when I don't cook
3. Sweep kitchen floor
4. Fold clothes in the dryer
5. Put the next day's clothes in the washer but don't start it.
6. Do 5 minutes room check
7. Shine sink
8. Get clothes out for the next day
9. Go to bed.

That's it for most days. Doing the week I don't do my zone cleaning and I just maintain the house.

Saturdays

1. Get up
2. Start weekly house blessing
3. Shower
4 Run errands

5. Later in the day I will do some zone work in the zone we are working in that week. It may not be exactly what Kelly is suggesting but I will do a few things extra over the weekly house blessing.

I don't do laundry on the weekends unless something has to be washed urgently.

Now this here is coming from a person who don't like cleaning however this method even with school has enabled me to keep the house clean and orderly. I don't stress when I don't do everything I just know that tomorrow is another day and the next day I start again.

 

[MizAvalon]

I love Fly Lady also but I would NOT sign up for those email reminders...

Agreed. I signed up for her site years ago but I eventually unsubscibed because those emails were beyond annoying.

 

[GodsPromises]

I don't subscribe to her emails. I just go on the site and read read read

Agreed. I signed up for her site years ago but I eventually unsubscibed because those emails were beyond annoying.

 

[Ladybelle]

Sorry this is long but I wanted to give you an idea that it can be done!

Here is my Fly lady routine.

Mornings:

1. Get up use bathroom, brush teeth
2. Go to Kitchen start coffee
3. Laundry room start washing machine ( clothes had been placed in machine night before so all I have to do is push the button)
4. Wash face, take shower
5. Get dress
6. Go back to downstairs open curtains and blinds.
7. Put last nights dishes away
8. Get coffee
9. Swish the guest bathroom
10. Put on makeup and do ( or put on) hair
11. Swish Master bathroom
12. Start car
13. Put washed clothes in dryer
14. Off to work I go

It seems alot but I get up at 7:15 a.m and I am out the door at 8:30 a.m.

My evenings is touch and go because on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesday I have class. Mondays and Tuesdays I don't get home until 9:00 - 10:00 p.m. and Wednesday around 6:30 p.m. so I don't have alot that I do in the evenings.

Night

1. Dishes, either dishwasher, hand or my son does the dishes.
2. Wipe down counters and stove even when I don't cook
3. Sweep kitchen floor
4. Fold clothes in the dryer
5. Put the next day's clothes in the washer but don't start it.
6. Do 5 minutes room check
7. Shine sink
8. Get clothes out for the next day
9. Go to bed.

That's it for most days. Doing the week I don't do my zone cleaning and I just maintain the house.

Saturdays

1. Get up
2. Start weekly house blessing
3. Shower
4 Run errands

5. Later in the day I will do some zone work in the zone we are working in that week. It may not be exactly what Kelly is suggesting but I will do a few things extra over the weekly house blessing.

I don't do laundry on the weekends unless something has to be washed urgently.

Now this here is coming from a person who don't like cleaning however this method even with school has enabled me to keep the house clean and orderly. I don't stress when I don't do everything I just know that tomorrow is another day and the next day I start again.

I printed this out. I'm going to give it a try and see how it works. Once I get the hang of it, I can always twirk it to my liking. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I know it can be done and I came to the right place to find out how. This sight is soooo worth the money. Where else can you get advice about everything?

 

[LiciaB]

First off...thanks ladies for recommending FlyLady! Never heard of her before this thread, but I'm soooooo glad I did.
Okay....
I'm a sahm (for the past year and a half). I maintain the house and dh helps when needed or when I'm not feeling well. However, there are things that I won't do like taking out the trash, cleaning my car, cut the grass, repairs, things of that nature. I also don't clean this office because hurricane hubby comes through here as soon as it gets clean and it looks like a jungle again. This works out great for us.
Even though I sah I don't spend the entire day cleaning, I would get bored really fast with that. A lot of times I go out and take care of things that I hate doing with the kids, or I'm on here or just having some "me time."
I say, just sit and talk and find out what works best for your relationship. I'd probably be doing all of the same stuff if I worked full time. I did when I was a single, full time working, part time student, mommy so I know I could handle it.
It's funny because most men are just wired differently. What bothers us may not bother them.

 

[Ladybelle]

It's funny because most men are just wired differently. What bothers us may not bother them.

I think that just may be the understatement of the century!!

 

[Arcadian]

We both clean because we like a clean house. Ok sometimes Im a little obsessive but yeah um.....


so anyway, I'm actually the nicer one when the house is clean. if the house is dirty I get all crazed and freaked out. When we have parties I have to clean the house directly after. (he goes to bed) I can't leave a mess.

You two should talk about division of duties. I never take out the trash, he does it. I have my ways of getting him to do stuff when he doesn't necessary want to its all about the delivery...
-A

 

[Ladybelle]

We both clean because we like a clean house. Ok sometimes Im a little obsessive but yeah um.....


so anyway, I'm actually the nicer one when the house is clean. if the house is dirty I get all crazed and freaked out. When we have parties I have to clean the house directly after. (he goes to bed) I can't leave a mess.

You two should talk about division of duties. I never take out the trash, he does it. I have my ways of getting him to do stuff when he doesn't necessary want to its all about the delivery...
-A

Please elaborate on this statement!!! If all I need to do is work on my delivery, I'm on it! I feel like I'm beating a dead horse. We've talked about division of duties over & over & over again - and they are supposedly divided but I end up doing his things b/c he doesn't do them in a timely manner.