Playing Wifey!

[FluffyRed]

I think he's using this as an excuse not to give you a key, so if he wants to use some guilt trip to get you to do something you have no business doing, kick his butt to the curb. Who knows what he'll try next.

They will ride those excuses for ten years if you let them. I mean that literally!

I would think he could gather how you keep house by what he sees when he comes over to your place, or at least by the inside of your car and your fingernails.

OK???

Your BF is definitely expecting you to play wifey because other women have done it in the past.

And, exactly where did it get these other women? They probably thought they were earning a ring!!! They cleaned up for dude and all they got is a notch on the belt!

 

[Spongie Bloom]

Im sorry but YOU set the tone on how you were going to be treated in this relationship, YOU have been doing all his cleaning up after him and now you are catching a tude cause he has grown to expect it from you. Im wondering why you would offer to clean someone's house at the weekends and then when they expect you to get mad at them, you should be mad at yourself for setting yourself up like that.

 

[Innocent_Kiss]

Tell him to put a damn ring on it, and THEN holla w/ all that ish!!!!

 

[SqrpioQutie]

Im sorry but YOU set the tone on how you were going to be treated in this relationship, YOU have been doing all his cleaning up after him and now you are catching a tude cause he has grown to expect it from you. Im wondering why you would offer to clean someone's house at the weekends and then when they expect you to get mad at them, you should be mad at yourself for setting yourself up like that.

so then, once you offer, regardless of the new circumstances (recent arguments, new schedule) you're obligated to play merry maid??....

 

[queen_t]

Oh see, this brutha needs to be trained!

 

[Spongie Bloom]

so then, once you offer, regardless of the new circumstances (recent arguments, new schedule) you're obligated to play merry maid??....

she gave herself the title of merry maid, not him if she didnt want to be seen as one she shouldnt have told him that she will start cleaning up his place every weekend. All im saying is it is hard to change the rules when the game has already started. I expect she began this cleaning up after him to show him that she is an all rounder in the beginning to impress him but has gotten frustrated cause he doesnt do anything in return.

And it seems it had been festering inside her since the whole argument was a piggyback from him just mentioning it in a joking manner. So while everyone is calling him every name under the sun and telling him to put a ring on it she set the tone by doing all those things and not expecting anything in return and ...well pple will treat you how you show them.

 

[Zaynab]

Tell him you will do all of those things when he plays husband and marries you. You're not his wife, you dont live there, you shouldn't be doing any of that.

 

[Zaynab]

Im sorry but YOU set the tone on how you were going to be treated in this relationship, YOU have been doing all his cleaning up after him and now you are catching a tude cause he has grown to expect it from you. Im wondering why you would offer to clean someone's house at the weekends and then when they expect you to get mad at them, you should be mad at yourself for setting yourself up like that.

^^^ I agree with this too. Men are pretty simple, however you start is how they are going to end up. OP should never have offered.

 

[Honi]

Is he crazy? Just wow! No you are not wrong for feeling that way. You are not married to him so why the expectations? If you do those things it is because you wanted to do them…..not because he expected it. You are not his maid.

He is trying to make you feel bad by mentioning the key.....and probably a ring too! That way you will do it to get it. I mean damn...head games men play

Tell him you changed your mind and to do his damn self!

 

[scorpio70]

In response to Lacriolla, yes i did say in the past that i would do it, but not knowing the extent of how exhausted i would be after STARTING SCHOOL AGAIN FULL TIME and still working FULL TIME.

The point is not that you agreed to do it before you knew about your other obligations.

The point is that you should not agree to be cleaning your boyfriend's house. PERIOD! If your only other obligation is sitting on the couch all day watching a week's worth of Oprah episodes on the DVR, you still don't need to be doing it.

Homeboy is using the key as a carrot. Don't chase it.

 

[suburbanbushbabe]

Funny thing is he pays not 1 of my bills! I never once asked him to pay any of my bills. I cleaned up ,cooked and did his laundry because of the OT he was putting in at work. I didnt mind doing it cause i had the time as well. I work a full time job and now im back in school and that takes up most of my time. He says i never have to want for anything, which is true at times, but im exhausted from work and school. When im done doing essays , its usually after 12 midnight.

His thing is he is a provider and i should be keeping on point with cooking and cleaning. He also said that because he doesnt see that side of me, he is reluctant to giving me a key. A part of me doesnt care that i dont have a key and another part does.

Just what is he providing you with ??? Let him give the key to a housecleaning service.

 

[DayStar]

How you gonna play 'wifey' if he doesnt even want to play 'hubby'?

He's not even paying bills. Yall dont even live together, you got your own place too?

When i would stay over at my boyfriends house, i'd lay right in his bed and watch him clean his OWN apartment...tell him he missed a spot too.

If you wanna play house then play house...tell him your rent is due, car needs servicing and you need $100 to get groceries so you can be 'wifey' and cook.

 

[MissRissa]

girl you're "special" for even needing to ask this question. He's a grown man with his own responsibilities. If he can not handle them on his own, then he needs to hire a maid or move back in with his moma. When you do help out around the house, you do so because u want to, it's not an obligation. and you said you work full time and go to school. girl if you were my homie IRL i'd have to cuss you out.

in addition, all these folks talking bout putting a gotdang ring on it and they'd jump up. please, marriages are equal and that also includes responsibilities. You work a full time just as he does and you're also in school, so that means household duties needs to be shared also. Caveat: unless he is willing to front you the money for WHATEVER you need WITHOUT GRIPING OR QUESTIONING in exchange for domestic duties. in that case, grab the duster homie.

 

[Ms Red]

Thanks just wasn't enough

girl you're "special" for even needing to ask this question. He's a grown man with his own responsibilities. If he can not handle them on his own, then he needs to hire a maid or move back in with his moma. When you do help out around the house, you do so because u want to, it's not an obligation. and you said you work full time and go to school. girl if you were my homie IRL i'd have to cuss you out.

in addition, all these folks talking bout putting a gotdang ring on it and they'd jump up. please, marriages are equal and that also includes responsibilities. You work a full time just as he does and you're also in school, so that means household duties needs to be shared also. Caveat: unless he is willing to front you the money for WHATEVER you need WITHOUT GRIPING OR QUESTIONING in exchange for domestic duties. in that case, grab the duster homie.

 

[TLC1020]

I've been with my guy for about over a year now and I don't clean his place at all.. He takes out the garbage at mine and help with what I need like the heavy things or big stuff.. If his place is messy when I get there it is gonna be messy when I leave.. I'm not being mean but I just don't... None of the guys I dated I never clean their place... One guy I dated try to get me to clean by saying why didn't I straighten up his bed when I left for work, I said b/c I didn't ... I guess that's why majority of the guys I've dated said I was mean... ... One called me devil wears prada and another deliver us from eva .... I was like so what... Another was like you neva gonna have kids cause you too mean.. ..