Just a silly issue maybe, but I need some advice

[SummerSolstice]

Things like this used to bother me, but I think I have grown out of it.
I love to salsa, bachata, and merengue. My boyfriend is just not interested He tried once and he said he felt gay

On top of that he is very introverted. I am too, but I was a gymnast and a singer, so I still have that performer element. I don't like large groups of people, but I don't mind doing any form of art in front of them.

Anyways, I really want a consistent salsa partner. My ex's best friend and I run into each other quite often. I have always found him attractive but not emotionally or anything. I saw him yesterday and we talked about my website because he said he thought I had lost weight. So I told him it was new food choices and the latin dancing.

Today, I am going to salsa because me and my boyfriend are doing Valentines Day tomorrow. His lil brother's senior game is tonight. I was texting my ex's bestie and he was saying he would like to learn too, so we might go together this evening.

Is this wrong of me? I wouldn't keep this a secret from my boyfriend. I gave him the opportunity to be my dance partner and he doesn't want to do it. Is having an attractive straight guy friend as a consistent dance partner sketchy to you?

Also, just an additional detail... The night my boyfriend joined me, he went to the bar and watched some basketball games and told me to go ahead and dance with other peopel. I danced with like 6 other guys. Some of the dancing was bachata and I do get into it lol. He was looking like erplexed but he didn't say he wanted me not to do it.

I don't know, what do you guys think. I want to be a good girlfriend.

 

[meesch]

well youre already texting the dude behind his back so... slippery slope.

 

[SummerSolstice]

well youre already texting the dude behind his back so... slippery slope.

Not behind his back. I wouldn't hide that. If he asks I will definitely tell him. I should've specified in the OP.

 

[SummerSolstice]

Things like this used to bother me, but I think I have grown out of it.
I love to salsa, bachata, and merengue. My boyfriend is just not interested He tried once and he said he felt gay

On top of that he is very introverted. I am too, but I was a gymnast and a singer, so I still have that performer element. I don't like large groups of people, but I don't mind doing any form of art in front of them.

Anyways, I really want a consistent salsa partner. My ex's best friend and I run into each other quite often. I have always found him attractive but not emotionally or anything. I saw him yesterday and we talked about my website because he said he thought I had lost weight. So I told him it was new food choices and the latin dancing.

Today, I am going to salsa because me and my boyfriend are doing Valentines Day tomorrow. His lil brother's senior game is tonight. I was texting my ex's bestie and he was saying he would like to learn too, so we might go together this evening.

Is this wrong of me? I wouldn't keep this a secret from my boyfriend. I gave him the opportunity to be my dance partner and he doesn't want to do it. Is having an attractive straight guy friend as a consistent dance partner sketchy to you?

Also, just an additional detail... The night my boyfriend joined me, he went to the bar and watched some basketball games and told me to go ahead and dance with other peopel. I danced with like 6 other guys. Some of the dancing was bachata and I do get into it lol. He was looking like erplexed but he didn't say he wanted me not to do it.

I don't know, what do you guys think. I want to be a good girlfriend.

bolded the relevant part

 

[firecracker]

You need to find a gay dance partner missy. LOL

 

[faithVA]

It doesn't sound like you have grown out of it. I also dance. And in a partner dance you need a partner. Why you are conflicted over having a dance partner doesn't make sense. It sounds like you have something else going on inside your head besides just dance and you need to figure that out and resolve it.

My guy doesn't dance and doesn't want to. I don't plan on giving up something I love because he isn't into it. But at the same time I wouldn't take my guy to the dances if he isn't interested. That is just a problem waiting to happen.

If you want to dance then dance and find a good dance partner that respects you and your relationship. You can dance and have a good relationship. Most people do. Very few dance partners are couples.

 

[*CherryPie*]

He has already said that you can dance with other people...and he saw you do it. So, just ask him how he'd feel about it, and go from there. But no, I don't think you're doing anything wrong. You shouldn't have to stop dancing just because your boyfriend doesn't want to dance.

 

[hopeful]

Dancing with six random guys vs. the handsome bestie of your ex are two completely different things. I don't think it's a good idea. If at some point you must find a steady dance partner, fine, but it shouldn't be this guy. You know better, trust your gut, that's why you started this thread--it doesn't feel right.

 

[SummerSolstice]

It doesn't sound like you have grown out of it. I also dance. And in a partner dance you need a partner. Why you are conflicted over having a dance partner doesn't make sense. It sounds like you have something else going on inside your head besides just dance and you need to figure that out and resolve it.

My guy doesn't dance and doesn't want to. I don't plan on giving up something I love because he isn't into it. But at the same time I wouldn't take my guy to the dances if he isn't interested. That is just a problem waiting to happen.

If you want to dance then dance and find a good dance partner that respects you and your relationship. You can dance and have a good relationship. Most people do. Very few dance partners are couples.

Ok LOL. I haven't been doing it for THAT long... I always assumed that the people i see together ALL THE TIME were a couple LOL. Thanks.

 

[Sosoothing]

I think in addition to asking us, you should ask your guy how he feels about this. Also, if you are asking, then you see the potential for a undesirable situation.
I wouldn't expect you to give up dancing but I don't think dancing regularly with your handsome ex friend is wise. I'm pretty sure your guy was thinking along the lines of random people you didn't have history with when he said you could dance with other people, but I may be wrong.
I took a few dance lessons in the past and I had no SO. I would just show up and there were always guys that came alone for lessons to partner up with. Would that be an option for you?

 

[Fine 4s]

I'd also be careful about giving that get out of jail free card....meaning he can do the same. Would you be OK with that?

 

[melophone13]

Do it! Just be sure not to hide a damn thing. Even have the guy pick you up from your place. Once your man sees you with this cute dude, he'll be CHOMPING at the bit to take you dancing next time, lol!

I feel like the author of Why Men Love B*tches would approve of this.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[MixedBerry]

Off to youtube this bachata....



.......walks back into thread.


Lawd geesas! Dancing is an art. You are an artist. BUT DONT DO THE DANCE WITH YOUR EX'S BESTIE NOR ANY HOT GUY NOR ANY HETERO GUY...EVER!

Seriously, like others have said, the mere fact that youre asking this pregunta should tell you your answer...Good luck!

 

[rafikichick92]

My roommate and her boyfriend recently had this problem except with that they are long distance right now and she wanted to go swing dancing. He ended up being OK with it, mostly because of black mail since he goes out with his friends for a night on the town each week.

On another note, OP, maybe your BF would be more comfortable with you doing swing? It can still be pretty sensual depending on your partner (one of the guys I dance with used to do bachata and you can see the influence on the way he swing dances; boy has swag ...). Maybe he'd even want to do it with you ...

 

[wednesday]

I don't have any advice..but i just youtubed "bachata dancing"....HOT.