IT'S YOUR FAULT HE WAS INTO PORN!

[ladyofvirtue]

My MIL and I were talking just this past Sun. night. We got on the subject of my husband's "porno past." She matter-a-factly asked me, "What kind of woman were you that caused your husband to turn to porn."


I was so stunned that I could not answer her. She then called me the next day to talk with me as if nothing had happened. Of course, I did not answer the phone.

There's more. I just need time to clear my head.

 

[WomanlyCharm]

My MIL and I were talking just this past Sun. night. We got on the subject of my husband's "porno past." She matter-a-factly asked me, "What kind of woman were you that caused your husband to turn to porn."


I was so stunned that I could not answer her. She then called me the next day to talk with me as if nothing had happened. Of course, I did not answer the phone.

There's more. I just need time to clear my head.

What kind of women were you??? erplexed Talk about placing the blame on the wrong person...

I wonder how she would have reacted if you'd asked her:
What kind of man was he to get all wrapped up in porn?
And what kind of mother was she to raise a man like that in the first place?

Geeze. Why is it some mothers think their precious sons can do no wrong?

 

[ladyofvirtue]

Thanks for responding cause my heart is aching.

I don't understand it. I'm not a perfect 10, but I'm not a 1 either.

I will never, ever speak to her again.

 

[WomanlyCharm]

Thanks for responding cause my heart is aching.

I don't understand it. I'm not a perfect 10, but I'm not a 1 either.

I will never, ever speak to her again.

Awww lady, it's going to be alright. (((HUGS)))

Men are visual creatures, it doesn't matter if you're a 1 or a 10 and a half...if he wanted to look at porn, nothing was going to stop him, and he was old enough to know better,especially if what he was doing was hurting you.

I can't understand why your MIL asked such a ridiculous question...unless she's also searching for answers, and this was just her screwed-up way of trying to get information.

Maybe by talking to her you can get to the bottom of this...just a thought.

 

[ladyofvirtue]

Well, as I said, there's more.

I remember posing a question recently about why I kept having recurring dreams about my husband being unfaithful. He kept telling me that I was insecure, not thinking straight, blah, blah, blah.

Many of you gave many thought provoking answers. I particularly remember Adedquate telling me that if I asked God, He would show me the truth.

Well, I believe He has.

Because it is highly unusal for my MIL to call late at night, I got suspicious. My husband and I had had a very ugly encounter a few hours before. I couldn't resist listening in on their conversation, so I picked up the other phone without their knowledge. I over heard her say to him, well, just change the locks. He responded that it's not that easy. Of course, I wigged out and butted in. So, one thing led to another and I got off the phone.

I just want him gone and for this horrible, awful pain to go away. I'm hurting so bad that I can't even think straight. I have no appetite. It's kinda funny. All this time I've been trying to find the solution to losing extra weight loss and low and behold I found it...a broken heart.

And why is it that when I left the house today to run some errands, just about every man I ran accross tried to holler at me? Of course, I barely spoke to them.

Thanks for the advice and the hugs. I need as many as I can get. There is no one human that I can talk to about this. I'm so ashamed. I'm only discussing it with you all cause you can't see me.

I WILL NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[ladyofvirtue]

Okay, husband told me that he just got approved for a new condo and will be moving in 2 weeks!

The mortgage is in his name, but he added my name to the deed when we first got married.

I lost my job a few years ago and my credit is jacked up. I was working on restoring and was improving my credit score. But, I don't even know if I can qualify for a mortgage right now.

Everything's happening so fast, I can't even think straight. I don't know where to go or who to turn to.

I just keep praying for God to keep me sane through this sudden storm that has blind sighted me. Without God I know that I would lose it.

 

[WomanlyCharm]

Hon, I know you feel like so much is happening so fast...and it is. But you have to protect yourself.

The first thing you need to do is find a good divorce attorney.

The attorney can help you make some important quick decisions...like if you can't afford the house, get rid of it and find a smaller more affordable place. Since both of your names are on the deed, your husband's agreement to do so could be part of the settlement( and he may get half the proceeds of the sale).

Who is the primary breadwinner? You may be able to get spousal support.

And above all, turn to trusted family and friends for support during this time. And you already know about putting yourself in His hands, so I don't need to say anything about that.

PM me if you need anything.

 

[drasgrl]

Sorry this is all happening to you but trust me you really will come through this ok. Believe in yourself you will do just fine! Don't deny your feelings allow yourself to grieve and be upset but also come up with a game plan that will get yourself on track. Good luck. You will make it.

 

[gone_fishing]

My MIL and I were talking just this past Sun. night. We got on the subject of my husband's "porno past." She matter-a-factly asked me, "What kind of woman were you that caused your husband to turn to porn."


I was so stunned that I could not answer her. She then called me the next day to talk with me as if nothing had happened. Of course, I did not answer the phone.

There's more. I just need time to clear my head.

Like you prayed for the revelation, pray that God will heal your heart AND guide you through the chaos that is divorce. It's chaos because God did not create divorce. But, He can help you through it if that is what you want decide to do.

Re: his mother. You don't owe it to her to speak to her right now. You don't have to say NEVER but certainly you don't have to talk to her about anything right now. Your allegiance right now should be to self. Forget what everyone else thinks. If she couldn't see how disrespectful and hateful that comment was (I don't care how old and senile she is or from what century she is from in regards to the way THOSE women dealt with their cheating lying men), then you are STILL better off without her input.

As far as the details, I don't know what state you live in but if you need help with family law questions, maybe I can help with that or refer you to someone who can help.

 

[ladyofvirtue]

Thank you for caring about me.

I'd like to get some information about spousal support because he is the main breadwinner.

Hon, I know you feel like so much is happening so fast...and it is. But you have to protect yourself.

The first thing you need to do is find a good divorce attorney.

The attorney can help you make some important quick decisions...like if you can't afford the house, get rid of it and find a smaller more affordable place. Since both of your names are on the deed, your husband's agreement to do so could be part of the settlement( and he may get half the proceeds of the sale).

Who is the primary breadwinner? You may be able to get spousal support.

And above all, turn to trusted family and friends for support during this time. And you already know about putting yourself in His hands, so I don't need to say anything about that.

PM me if you need anything.

 

[mrsjohnson75]

I'm praying for you right now. GOD will help you and you are not alone!

 

[BroadstreetBully]

And see if you can get some counseling or attend some group therapy sessions. I know some churches offer these. It will really help!