Is Social Media Required To Date Now?

[TinyBlu]

...If so, I'm in trouble

I've opened myself up to dating after a two year hiatus, and I'm finding it a bit challenging to navigate these new "high tech" waters.

I WORK in computers, so it's not an issue of me not having the technical chops to communicate this way, it's just that I prefer not to, and for some reason, I thought that men in my age bracket would appreciate that. Much to my dismay, I keep running into guys that WON'T. PICK. UP. THE. PHONE...

My most recent epic fail was with what seemed to be a nice guy. We did the typical "put your number in my phone" dance (I miss the days when you wrote it down and prayed that you didn't lose it), and after a few "nice meeting you..." texts, I INVITED him to call me. I let him know when I was available and even said... I'm not much of a texter...

That was day one. Day two I get the (suspect / playa) "Good Morning beautiful" text. I gave a few polite responses and AGAIN said. You can give me a call... nothing. Instead it was "send me a pic". I sent him a stock photo of an overweight orangutan. He asked for my F.I.T. info. I don't have it because I'm not really into social media like that. My Facebook has been deactivated for two years and I never opened an Insta or Twitter account...

Day three I get a "How was your day" (with ur spelled incorrectly)... brother won't be getting a response.

I'm starting to question if something is wrong with my logic, here. So 40+ men really prefer to communicate in 160 characters or less? What happened to phone conversations or meeting up and getting to know each other? I don't consider myself to be THAT much of an old fart...

Dating has changed... I didn't think I was out of the game THAT long... SHEESH!!!

 

[Covagirlm]

I sent him a stock photo of an overweight orangutan.

This came up recently in the Relationship forum and the general consensus was that men in their 40's grew up with rotary phones soooooo they know how to make phone calls.
I would not have responded to any texts after I told him to call me.

 

[mrselle]

Take what I say with a grain of salt because I haven't been in the dating world in nearly 20 years. That said, I don't think there is anything wrong with your logic. Beyond promoting a business and sharing family pics with family and close friends, I find social media to be a waste of time. I'm not sure if social media is required or necessary to date. I'm not even sure if it opens up your dating pool. I think the situation with this guy has very little to do with social media and more to do with him being lazy. A man who is interested will show it beyond texting. If he's interested and you tell him you don't do much texting and prefer talking on the phone or meeting face to face then he will do what it takes to get to know you better. A man needs to meet you where you are, not the other way around. How do you really get to know a person via texting anyway? There is so much missing from the interaction. Tone of voice, facial expressions, inflections in a person's voice, etc...

 

[metro_qt]

I'm in that age bracket, and I haven't spoken on the phone to contenders yet.... I very much use social media to vet my dates/potentials.
to each their own, I guess.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

I turn 31 in a couple months. Met my SO on OK Cupid. I have social media for networking and such but I'm phasing out the personal stuff. SO was never big on social media. When we first started dating he made a point to call me instead of texting. He said he's old school lol. (He's almost 32 lol.) So we scheduled times to talk on the phone at least once in between dates. There's nothing wrong with your logic OP. A lot of men try and get out of talking on the telephone. A man truly interested will want to talk to you and show an interest in getting to know you. You can't do that over text. It's ok to say to him "I prefer to talk on the phone... can we schedule a time?" But if he doesn't get it, it's time to KIM.

 

[Evolving78]

...If so, I'm in trouble

I've opened myself up to dating after a two year hiatus, and I'm finding it a bit challenging to navigate these new "high tech" waters.

I WORK in computers, so it's not an issue of me not having the technical chops to communicate this way, it's just that I prefer not to, and for some reason, I thought that men in my age bracket would appreciate that. Much to my dismay, I keep running into guys that WON'T. PICK. UP. THE. PHONE...

My most recent epic fail was with what seemed to be a nice guy. We did the typical "put your number in my phone" dance (I miss the days when you wrote it down and prayed that you didn't lose it), and after a few "nice meeting you..." texts, I INVITED him to call me. I let him know when I was available and even said... I'm not much of a texter...

That was day one. Day two I get the (suspect / playa) "Good Morning beautiful" text. I gave a few polite responses and AGAIN said. You can give me a call... nothing. Instead it was "send me a pic". I sent him a stock photo of an overweight orangutan. He asked for my F.I.T. info. I don't have it because I'm not really into social media like that. My Facebook has been deactivated for two years and I never opened an Insta or Twitter account...

Day three I get a "How was your day" (with ur spelled incorrectly)... brother won't be getting a response.

I'm starting to question if something is wrong with my logic, here. So 40+ men really prefer to communicate in 160 characters or less? What happened to phone conversations or meeting up and getting to know each other? I don't consider myself to be THAT much of an old fart...

Dating has changed... I didn't think I was out of the game THAT long... SHEESH!!!

Wow! I don’t have any SM accounts as well. And all of his messages sounds like it came from a textbook! Lol it seems a man that is truly interested and not looking for notches on his belt, will make that phone call. Dude clearly wasn’t interested in pursuing you.
It seems nowadays men want you to chase them too.

 

[Evolving78]

I'm in that age bracket, and I haven't spoken on the phone to contenders yet.... I very much use social media to vet my dates/potentials.
to each their own, I guess.

So I see it is generational thing. I figured younger women are using this type of communication as well.

 

[RUBY]

Wow! I don’t have any SM accounts as well. And all of his messages sounds like it came from a textbook! Lol it seems a man that is truly interested and not looking for notches on his belt, will make that phone call. Dude clearly wasn’t interested in pursuing you.
It seems nowadays men want you to chase them too.

The bolded is the truth imo. I don't chase men so this is proving difficult for me. These men be taking and misconstruing modern themes of equality too far.

OP, I loved the photo you sent him. He really thought you were gonna send him a photo of yourself that he could pore over and deliberate if you were worthy of his time huh. He can kick rocks.

 

[Ms. Tarabotti]

If he truly wants to pursue you, he will use whatever methods of communication that you prefer.

 

[TinyBlu]

I agree...

Needless to say, the next day he sent me a "How was your day" text. I never responded and I haven't heard from him since.

...and it makes me wonder if this laziness is a result of women ALLOWING such treatment. Not that I think there's anything WRONG with SM, it's not my thing.

Prince EA said it best...

 

[lavaflow99]

I agree...

Needless to say, the next day he sent me a "How was your day" text. I never responded and I haven't heard from him since.

...and it makes me wonder if this laziness is a result of women ALLOWING such treatment. Not that I think there's anything WRONG with SM, it's not my thing.

Prince EA said it best...

Great video and sums this new SM world well.....sadly

 

[afrofaithful]

I don't have any SM and I'm 28, but that's not the norm. If you want to talk to me you have to call/text. I usually tell men to call, because I'm not a texter, though I also hate talking on the phone lol. If you want to talk to me to get to know me it needs to be face to face, and they can either ask me out or our communication can just become null. I also never send pictures. They get the picture and pursue if they want, if not they disappear.

I've been called a prude lol.

 

[LiftedUp]

No it isn't. It's just a new mode of communication. I'm sure when suitors began making phone calls instead of sending letters the older folks of the day began clutching their pearls and calling them lazy lol.

There are men who still like making phone calls but I wouldn't write off those who do not.