Is she lacking Common Sense *Kinda long*

B

Brit031586

Well-Known Member
Ok so my Best friend was in a relationship for about 5 years she broke up with that SO and was with the next within a week about a year or 2 ago he went to jail and she decided to move to another state for school she said they were broken up but she still came home and visited him and accepted his calls.

so she meets this other guy who is about 4 years younger (shes 25) she's all in love and everything BLAH BLAH BLAH he moves back to his home state because of financial problems but she decides she wants him to stay so she allows him to move in with her ( he has no job and isnt in school at the time) now she was working fulltime and going to school but had to quit her job in order to graduate on time so he went back to his old job not making much money.

Fast forward to now she just gave birth to twins by him and while she was pregnant she caught him talking and trying to hang out with other girls on 3 different occasions also he goes out almost every night in HER car leaving her at home alone(mind you her mom pays her car note and insurance and they well she always has to borrow the rent money) one night while she was pregnant n he was out she asked him to bring her dinner and he told her she should go ahead and WALK to the store!

when she tells me this stuff I just dont know what to say because im just in shock... What would you ladies tell her?? Also in the previous relationship she was in the guy who is in jail had a son who loved her she used to get him and take care of him all the time her family even loved the little boy who is now about 8 she's known him since he was about 3 when she got a new SO she completly cut the child out of her life even tho she still hung out with him when she and his dad were not together... The child calls her and but she never talks to him or sees him oh but she did call his mom when she needed her hair done for free!
 
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Brit031586 said:
LOL SURE!!!!:lachen:
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When I read a thread with lots of DRAMA, usually I need paragraphs!!! :lachen:

I assume you've already told her plenty of times to get herself together. All you can do now is just say the next time she brings this up, "Look, I told you a zillion times that your **** is raggedy. I don't really want to hear anymore."

Then she'll either need to change the topic if she wants to keep talking to me, or the conversation is done!

Don't stress yourself out dealing with her mess!
 
*blink*

She has twins, by a 21 y/o with no degree and no job, who leaves her stranded at home while he runs the streets doing the ho-crawl? Am I to understand you clearly?

What should she do? Run. Now. I'm assuming he's too busy chasing tail to be any kind of father. I'd tell her to take herself, her children, move someplace where she has a support system, and kick that leech out of her house and her life. And if she's not willing to do that, then she needs to get comfy in the bed she made, and ain't willing to rise up out of.

WTF with these relationship threads lately?!?! Have women lost their damn minds?

And, oh, yeah, I'd tell her to stop farking trifling arse negros, too.
 
you know what i want to know why have a child with a man that didnt have any income and at 25 why is she taking care of a man. your girl is bugging
 
Bunny77 said:
When I read a thread with lots of DRAMA, usually I need paragraphs!!! :lachen:

I assume you've already told her plenty of times to get herself together. All you can do now is just say the next time she brings this up, "Look, I told you a zillion times that your **** is raggedy. I don't really want to hear anymore."

Then she'll either need to change the topic if she wants to keep talking to me, or the conversation is done!

Don't stress yourself out dealing with her mess!
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:lachen::lachen:.... But Yes I have told her!! she just gets mad and says well I really dont care what other people think of my relationship... and im thinking so why are you telling me?!?! the crazy thing is before he came along even though her last relationship was crazy she had her stuff on point she was in school and working 2 jobs paying all her own bills with money left over to save. Now she is just like a freakin idiot all her savings is gone because when she had to stop working she needed money to cover rent food and her car plus he was living up in her house for free!! My SO met him and immediatly said what kind of friend am I to sit back and watch my friend get played Im like i tell her over and over but she doesnt listen. He says the moment he met him he know something wasnt right.
 
Bunny77 said:
I'm seeing similar mess about relationship foolishness on another board too... something's up! :lachen:
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Solar eclipse? Dick drought? Primal instincts to mate during times of economic instability reduces women's ability to analyze? Crack in the water supply? :lachen:

What?! I need to know. :nono:
 
JustKiya said:
*blink*

She has twins, by a 21 y/o with no degree and no job, who leaves her stranded at home while he runs the streets doing the ho-crawl? Am I to understand you clearly?

What should she do? Run. Now. I'm assuming he's too busy chasing tail to be any kind of father. I'd tell her to take herself, her children, move someplace where she has a support system, and kick that leech out of her house and her life. And if she's not willing to do that, then she needs to get comfy in the bed she made, and ain't willing to rise up out of.

WTF with these relationship threads lately?!?! Have women lost their damn minds?

And, oh, yeah, I'd tell her to stop farking trifling arse negros, too.
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Yes you are understanding quite clearly!!!! she is just so beat and its gotten to the point that I dont even wanna talk to her when she calls. She was coming home for a visit and she text me out of no where how she was on her way but she misses her man already i threw up in my mouth a little bit and just ignored her... as far as a father he's never home and never has money so you can only imagine in her case she is thanking God for foodstamps...
 
JustKiya said:
Solar eclipse? Dick drought? Primal instincts to mate during times of economic instability reduces women's ability to analyze? Crack in the water supply? :lachen:

What?! I need to know. :nono:
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In my Bestfriends case its definately crack I think!:lachen::lachen:I love her to do death but I think he's been drugging her! OHHHHHH and I forgot to mention that he gets high on a regular basis and the last time I visited she was to!! mind youve ive never seen her get high in the 15 years ive known her!
 
Yes she is and you can't do anything about it. To me see seems like the type who must have a man, any man and you can not talk to them because "You don't understand our relationship".

Build a bridge............
 
JustKiya said:
Solar eclipse? Dick drought? Primal instincts to mate during times of economic instability reduces women's ability to analyze? Crack in the water supply? :lachen:

What?! I need to know. :nono:
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"Dick drought" LMAO. I am having a drought but I have not lost my friggin mind, that is why a BOB was created.
 
Sounds like your friend was "smart" before she hooked up with this man. I know some females just like her and they choose mates that aren't even on equal footing with them. Basically, all you can do is listen to her issues but I still encourage you to voice your opinion on the choices she's made.
 
LHCF2009 said:
Sounds like your friend was "smart" before she hooked up with this man. I know some females just like her and they choose mates that aren't even on equal footing with them. Basically, all you can do is listen to her issues but I still encourage you to voice your opinion on the choices she's made.
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Yes she was very smart.... she graduated college in May but she is so dumb common sense wise. I would not really call him a man he just turned 21 and in my opinion he is still a boy because no man I know would let his woman go around begging family and friends for money every month. I feel that a man is gonna do what he has to do or his family... thats just my Opinion tho I could be wrong
 
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Wow.. Your friend doesn't see her own worth. She is finished with college while this guy isn't even in school? And him taking things from her, the car, probably money as well.. is ridiculous!! What man expects a woman to take care of HIM?? That's what I don't like about a lot of these younger men.. (in my age range, I'm 22).. I guess they come from the generation of fatherless children so they dont know how men should behave..

Don't say anything else about it to your friend. All that's going to end up happening is she is going to turn around and attack you (even though you are right), and cling to him..

Once he leaves her for another woman, then maybe she'll smarten up a little.
 
he probably doesn't have enough experience to see this idiot for what he is.That is a shame,but you can only witness this destruction.When she has had enough she will get out.
 
She will learn but unfortunately she will learn the HARD way. Boy she has a hard road ahead of her is she acts like this. She has made some really unwise decisions and now there are 2 other innocents children in this madness
 
Almaz said:
She will learn but unfortunately she will learn the HARD way. Boy she has a hard road ahead of her is she acts like this. She has made some really unwise decisions and now there are 2 other innocents children in this madness
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exactly I just wish she would see that... everytime she meets a new guy she like clings to them and by them I mean everything that comes with them including their family... their siblings become her siblings their cousins become her cousins she's just very strange when it comes to men
 
:perplexedIt's clear to see what the problem is.....she'd rather have someone then no one at all. She just had twins so she's thinking that she'd rather have him around some of the time b/c they have kids together.

She she move on when she's had enough of dealing with this BS. That will be the only time she'll be able to break it off cleanly and move on with her life. People learn lessons the hard way.:ohwell:
 
Your friend sounds just like one of my friends. I would say that the issues she has are about her need. It is not really about the men it is about something missing within her that she is trying to fill with the men. I would not be surprised if she has some kind of trauma history that has skewed her perspective on men and relationships. And I agree with brownelovely she just wants to be with someone..... anyone.

You will probably be forever frustrated because she will not change or become "rational" because other people disapprove. Therapy to find and address the root of the problem is what is needed....
 
movado32k1 said:
Your friend sounds just like one of my friends. I would say that the issues she has are about her need. It is not really about the men it is about something missing within her that she is trying to fill with the men. I would not be surprised if she has some kind of trauma history that has skewed her perspective on men and relationships. And I agree with brownelovely she just wants to be with someone..... anyone.

You will probably be forever frustrated because she will not change or become "rational" because other people disapprove. Therapy to find and address the root of the problem is what is needed....
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My mom said the exact same thing she even noticed how she leashes on to the man in her lifes family. She also says that she is missing something because thats not normal... The thing is she has her own family she has siblings and her parents are together they are a pretty close knit family I just do not know what her problem is...
 
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