Why Would a Stylist Lie??? (Rant)

[~Sparklingflame~]

SF... the stylist didn't put the relaxer in. Her cousin let the dumba$$ed friend put the relaxer in!

Oh Lawd!

Ok, well OP, tell her to go and ask her friend what she should do AFTER you tell her that her hair is still being proccessed b/c you smell relaxer on her head and you can see her scalp burns.

Lawd, my people!

 

[LuvlyRain3]

SF... the stylist didn't put the relaxer in. Her cousin let the dumba$$ed friend put the relaxer in!

Omg. I didnt want to but


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[Sianna]

@nzeee You made a very true, and well stated comment. I know it rings true for me personally. There was a time in my life, not too long ago, where I didn't regularly see long hair on BW unless it was a weave, usually a bad one at that. That being said, it may be difficult for a lot of BW and girls to believe that long hair is achievable for them, especially when they've never had it before.

I wouldn't have even wanted to hear anybody telling me how I could grow my hair because I was tired of the lies, gimmicks and false hope!

It was when I began to focus on healthy hair, that I realized that long would be sure to follow, even for me! Now I KNOW my hair will grow and become longer than I ever thought possible! My puff seems to get bigger and bigger each time I see it!

OP, I hope that in time your cousin sees the light. But in the mean time, I say just grit your teeth and let her be. I wouldn't even talk to her about hair anymore unless she brings it up, and even then I'd try to keep it short and simple.

 

[Misseyl]

You can bring a horse to water, you can't force them to drink. I know this site works because I've followed suggestions here and have gotten good results. Leave her be and concentrate on your own hair. One of these days she'll come back and ask you what you've been doing to get your hair so healthy...

 

[Minty]

That's what I was trying to figure out....you go to a salon, get a consult, then let someone else relax your hair. I don't think so. And op is mad at the stylist?>?

Hmmm. And I'm sorry, but the stylist is CORRECT! In your cousins case, transitioning would be out of the question, transitioning requires patience and her going to snap crackle and pop demonstrates that patience is not there now.

- and quite frankly some people can not transition without significant breakage.

 

[LuvlyRain3]

That's what I was trying to figure out....you go to a salon, get a consult, then let someone else relax your hair. I don't think so. And op is mad at the stylist?>?

Hmmm. And I'm sorry, but the stylist is CORRECT! In your cousins case, transitioning would be out of the question, transitioning requires patience and her going to snap crackle and pop demonstrates that patience is not there now.

- and quite frankly some people can not transition without significant breakage.

I'm not mad at the stylist at all. Never said I was. Honestly I was never mad at anyone. I felt bad for her being so gullible and then letting her almost bored friend do her hair. I was more of looking for suggestions for how to help her over processed hair.

Plus she was already 5 months post and her hair was healthy. I had just put it in a bun for her a couple of days before this incident.



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[LuvlyRain3]

Plus the salon she went to is known for discouraging women from going natural. They tell everyone that they have to go bald to go natural and that if they stop getting perms completely their hair will fall out. Breakage is one thing but fall out?? Puhleez

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[Lady_q_tee]

Poor thing, but you know what they say. Those who can't hear MUST feel!!!

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

oh well. she made her bed now she gotta lie in it. maybe she can use her broken off hairs as cover.

she'll come around when she is ready. or maybe she won't. either way, its no hair off your head. ♥

 

[lolascurls]

Why would she ask a stylist advice on transitioning? That's their bread and butter so of course she's gonna lie. That's like getting AA advice from a bartender. Or asking a drug dealer advice on how to quit drugs LOL

Sounds like your cousin doesn't really want advice IMHO. I'd let her be.


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ITA! Most stylists are just hairdressers. They would rather go for a hair style than care about the health of the hair. erplexedA chosen few actually really care about health and growth, and they equip their customers with advice on how to look after their hair at home.
One, your cousin needs to put some creamy/buttery leave-in on her hair and not disrupt the hair close to the scalp. It is scabbing over and combing will just cause it to fall out more. She is to do this for a week and her scalp will heal and the scabs will decrease.
Next, she can NEVER let that doorbell ponytail friend near her head again. Seriously! And finally, she needs to decide for herself what she wants to do. One can have healthy, flowing relaxed hair, but one also has to take responsibility for their own hair. Afterall, if she went bald, it wouldn't be on her friend's head people would notice it...it's her hair, she should take care of it.
Don't give her much advice. Tell her to research herself. Youtube is full of women who show they are not wearing weaves without a doubt. She should get rid of her own disillusionment on her own back.
I'm sorry this happened to her as an adult. This happened too many times to me as a child and teen. Not funny when my mother knew no better than to send me to the hairdresser's!

 

[davisbr88]

The stylist I used to go to (the same one who said my hair would never get past SL, and that you're required to get a trim every 6 weeks) said the SAME exact thing when I told her I was thinking of going natural: that I'd have to shave my head and all my hair would break off if I didn't get another relaxer.
You don't have to believe everything you read on the internet, but it was through the internet that I learned about transitioning in the first place. So... yeah.
Either believe that, or the girl with no hair who's intent on making sure yours ends up the same way.

 

[silenttullip]

Ur a good one for still wanting to help because when people don't listen to me about hair I leave it alone. But anywho I'm no stylist and I'll be the first to tell you BUT I do have a sensitive scalp which is why I went natural so I don't know what my advice is worth but for me when I had like 2 horrible scalp burns from not protecting my scalp or neutralizing what worked was infusium 23 old school leave in (AFTER a week or two) not yet because the scalp is irritated. Until a week or two the best she can do is try to keep it gently moisturized and leave her scalp and hair alone. No stressful braids or ponytails. After that apply the infusium to the area. It will gradually soften the burns and when I had the burns it they caused my hair to basically be gone BUT the infusium had me growing back in business. Now I'm natural it doesn't work for me for growth but if relaxed I think it would be great. Um as for the vaseline thing... I know petroleum is "bad" and when you know better do better BUT there's someone on youtube the link used to be posted here not long ago at all and she puts it on her daughters hair and scalp and its long and healthy and I didn't start having scalp issues or breakage until I stopped using greases my staple was dax. Now I'm not saying petroleum doesn't clog follicles because I believe anything for the most part used too often can but I believe it's different for everyone. I'd go back to grease if I didn't have an oily scalp "sebum already attempts to bother my folicles" but if her scalp is dry I don't share the common belief it's the debil lol. Maybe you can slide her away from it by getting her some of the natural pomades OR getting her to use it only to seal her ends but olive or coconut oil on her scalp. I hth somehow and sorry for being long winded. YOU'RE A GREAT FAMILY MEMBER much better than I would have been and now I'm motivated to be more patient with folk.

 

[frida1980]

Nothing more sickening than seeing why most BW have no hair up close. I came over when my brother's GF was giving herself a relaxer. She barely had NL hair but covered her hairs all the way to the end. It was so gross. She's seen me several times with natural and straight hair and has never asked why it's so long. I think it's because she believes my brother's exaggerations about our Native American blood. I wish he wouldn't do that. I'm a 4b just like most BW and just treat my hair differently.

Thankfully, I've managed to sway my press in curl cousins to give twisting a chance. One has BSL length hair, it looks awesome on her. It's also easier for her to manage now that she's a mom. I don't like to preach, but I'll assume that the ones that want knowledge will come. Those ones that don't, won't.

 

[lana]

My cousin had some jacked up hair. I was finally at a thick shoulder length and she asked me what I do. I told her in detail and she said she couldn't ever do "all of that" (wash when needed, deep condition, moisturize and seal!!!). So she washed her hair and I helped dry it and as I was going through it, glue and grease were all up in there. I asked her is she had really shampooed it and she said yeah, so I told her she needed to go back in there and clarify it and then deep condition her hair. She said no. I handed the comb right back to her.

I now have the best hair of my life and the longest length...she still has the same ole hair as always (greasy and gluey from weaves....)

Just leave it alone. That's all you can do.

 

[Freespirit02]

My cousin had some jacked up hair. I was finally at a thick shoulder length and she asked me what I do. I told her in detail and she said she couldn't ever do "all of that" (wash when needed, deep condition, moisturize and seal!!!). So she washed her hair and I helped dry it and as I was going through it, glue and grease were all up in there. I asked her is she had really shampooed it and she said yeah, so I told her she needed to go back in there and clarify it and then deep condition her hair. She said no. I handed the comb right back to her.

I now have the best hair of my life and the longest length...she still has the same ole hair as always (greasy and gluey from weaves....)

Just leave it alone. That's all you can do.

I hate to say it..but that is called laziness. People what all the benefits of long healthy hair..but don't want to put in work!

 

[Freespirit02]

I feel bad for your cousin. However..I would never let someone with jacked up hair do my hair. If they don't care about their own hair...why would they care about mine? As far as her not taking your advise..she had her mind made up before you even opened your mouth.

 

[D.Lisha]

OMG! I am so mad! First off how an she trust a stylist out for money, pver famly who is oy out to help! Pls doesn't shesee how beautif your hair is. Is she going to start taking care of hr hair now? Even if she keeps relaxing I hope she is more careful about it. She should come on this site and ask some of these healthy hair relaxed ladies what they do to achieve what htey got. I feel so sorry for her.....I know how much it hurts to have a chemical burn...

Sorry, I just had to point out that I could FEEL how angry you were, lovely_locks lol. I peeped all the typos you had in the post and I was like "Oh! I can tell she's mad! I can almost hear her yelling at the OP's cousin!"

 

[sj73]

Just want to add that once upon a time, I was in denial about my hair and believe everything a stylist told me. Now I know better, but I have to hear relatives believe and say the same thing I once believed. In one breath, they will say how much my hair has grown and when I answer their questions about how I keep it clean and what products I use, their response is "your hair is going to fall out." Wait now, you did remember that you just said how much my hair has grown, right? erplexed

 

[LuvlyRain3]

It might sound mean but I could care less about my cousins hair now. I think I just kind of felt bad for her or like I should try to help her because she's my cousin. But I'm back on my ' not my hair not my problem tip'. Outside of forums I don't even talk about hair unless someone asks me about it.

I also wanted to help her because I hate walking down the street and seeing all these bw with trashed hair. I hate being in a room with my family and looking at their horrible hair. Its very depressing. But oh well. My hair looks good.

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[Embyra]

Poor thing, but you know what they say. Those who can't hear MUST feel!!!

i know you must be from Caribbean background with that


i havent heard that saying since i was a kid lmaoo