Is monogamy a myth?

GraceV

GraceV

New Member
Looking though all of history, including recent history with Arnold's situation, I have to ask this question. Is monogamy a myth? I asked this question on my facebook page and a (single) female friend said something to the effect of: "No, no, no. It can't be a myth. I don't want it to be a myth." On another question I asked, a (married) male friend said something like: A guy can't eat the same thing everyday.

It seems women want it to be real (and are willing to live in denial if necessary), and men are shaking their heads if not literally at least by their actions.

I have known men that are good husbands, fathers, providers, men with apparently good moral standards that shocked me when I found out they cheated on their wives. I found myself asking if XYZ can cheat, then there is no hope. I try not to be cynical but when 'good men' fall you gotta ask, "is this for real?" Right now I'm at the point where if I heard Obama cheated on Michelle, I won't be surprised.

Are we in denial? Should we just accept that men will cheat and the one who does not cheat is just lucky/blessed/different/hasn't been exposed?
Is monogamy a myth?
 
Interesting question. I find it impossible to think that every single man has cheated on the person he is/was with. To me its as relative as anything else- some do and some don't. Pray you choose as well as possible, and when you do, do as much as you can to satisfy the needs of that person in a relationship (within reason). I say that for both men and women. It may not always stop a person cheating, but it makes it easier/more likely if they are not satisfied/ unhappy (provided it is something that can be fixed, not just irreconcilable differences). And other times- people fall, like you said. I'm not addressing people with bad intentions, or who do not practice monogamy.

In short- I do not believe its a myth- at least not for all people.
 
Last edited:
Thanks Aviah You're right, it's impossible to say all men have cheated on their partner. The prevalence though is what is getting me. As for the choosing well part, sigh. There's no telling how people change. I guess all one can really do is pray for a man who is God-fearing. Even if he doesn't care about his partner, at least his internal moral compass will guide him to make the right choices.
 
There are men with enough self control and respect for their wives that they will never contemplate the thought of destroying their families for some sex.

Please don't be fooled, not all men cheat.
 
Monogamy is not a myth to me. I do believe that there are men out there just like women who do not cheat on their SO. Like Etherealsmile said, there are men with self control and are decent enough to end things before it get to that point.
 
I believe there are monogamous relationships, but I don't think people are hard-wired for monogamy.

I agree that men are probably more faithful than they get credit for.
 
Remember people only make a fuss about infidelities, while monogamous people keep on keeping on, daily. So naturally it seems like er'one is cheating.
 
ThickHair said:
Remember people only make a fuss about infidelities, while monogamous people keep on keeping on, daily. So naturally it seems like er'one is cheating.
Click to expand...
You're right. It's the same thing in the news, they sensationalize bad news but there's a lot of good going on that nobody cares to report.

Thanks for all the responses ladies!
 
No, I do not believe it's a myth. But I also don't think one's hopes can be centered on infidelity never happening. There has to be some purpose, bond, commitment beyond the thought that "he'll never cheat on me." That's tantamount to putting someone on a pedestal and even if he is generally faithful, something may happen at some point in the marriage and he may disappoint. But I definitely believe that there are faithful men around.
 
GraceV said:
You're right. It's the same thing in the news, they sensationalize bad news but there's a lot of good going on that nobody cares to report.

Thanks for all the responses ladies!
Click to expand...
Yes, all black men are murder's and rapist and all black women love talking on the phone in the quiet car on the train, since that is all we see in the news. Plenty of us know upstanding black men and most of us do keep quiet on the train. :)

I remember my exhusband use to say after every newscast that he was a suspect again. The crime was committed by a brown skinned black man, 6' and medium built. That is most all of the black men I know.
 
There are good monogamous men out there. Both married and single. Of all races. The key of it all is, they're not popular.
 
First of all, women cheat just as much as men. I have no idea why we think women are more faithful. Second of all, our lack of extreme sexual dimorphism in the human race proves that we evolved generally in monogamous pairs. The vast majority of humans are in monogamous relationships.
 
SND411 said:
First of all, women cheat just as much as men. I have no idea why we think women are more faithful. Second of all, our lack of extreme sexual dimorphism in the human race proves that we evolved generally in monogamous pairs. The vast majority of humans are in monogamous relationships.
Click to expand...

Agreed@ the bolded.

But i don't see how our lack of dimorphism proves we are supposed to be monogamous...please elaborate :yep:

I'm not sure what it's supposed to be anymore. Could it be that monogamy is just not for everyone? I also noticed that even though it takes only 2 beings to create a child...it still takes more hands to raise them properly (I know there are single parents who are great at this but we know what a "handful" it can be). So this could mean that our nature may or may not be so obvious.

I think that when it all comes down to it you and your partner should just be open about your feelings. Saves for a lot of nonsense in the end. Regardless of if we're naturally monogamous or not. *shrug*
 
Monogamy is not a myth. If a person wants to be monogamous, they will. But I don't get all the hoopla over men cheating when studies show these days, women are slightly more likely to cheat.:ohwell:
 
I am a firmer believer in monogamy and this is coming from the viewpoint of someone who was once married to a person who mistakenly thought it was a type of tree.
 
Thanks ladies for pointing out that women cheat too, I can see how my OP appears to be biased against guys. I did not mean to imply that women don't cheat or cheat less. I suppose since most of the cases of cheating I am aware of involve the guy cheating, my ideas on cheating are subconsciously skewed in favor of women with guys being the villains. My bad.
 
ScorpioBeauty09 said:
Monogamy is not a myth. If a person wants to be monogamous, they will. But I don't get all the hoopla over men cheating when studies show these days, women are slightly more likely to cheat.:ohwell:
Click to expand...

Exactly. I don't believe monogamy is a myth simply because people have self control.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

D
Signs a Man is cheating....thankyou Dr. Oz
Replies
5
Views
404
username12
username12
Etherealsmile
My best friend believes all men cheat
2
Replies
37
Views
901
Evolving78
E
thatscuteright
8 myths about being single
Replies
6
Views
204
LoveLongLocks
LoveLongLocks
weaveadiva
hit author urges women to settle for "Mr Good Enough" after 30
2
Replies
32
Views
758
laCriolla
L
Suerte
Spin Off: Would you WANT to stay after cheating?
2
Replies
36
Views
574
Suerte
Suerte
Back
Top