Is it wrong to expect...

[SummerSolstice]

A full day once a week with your S/O?

Basically here is my situation/ back story... when me and my boyfriend started dating it was November. Freezing outside, nothing to do, etc.

Now he is coaching basketball on the side along with his full time job. I thought it would be like whatev, but its not. He is jam packed for the upcoming weekends. They play 2 games per day (sometimes one on the Sunday), and then they practice Monday and Wednesday.
Sometimes they even have the nerve to have a game on Friday too. LOL.

So basically we went from being booed up every evening except Mondays (I salsa, he bowls), to now... all i really get is Tuesday and Thursday.
So I'm pmsing HARD right now... I get really REALLY complain-ey and I cry alot. So yesterday I was on the verge of tears all day, and then after work I went shopping and did some crying . Finally he gets out of practice and we met at his apt. We start talking and I tell him how frustrated I was this weekend because I didn't get a full day with him. He then busts out laughing and was like... you expect a full day UHHHH. YES NEGRO I DO!!!

This weekend I couldn't even have Sunday because after the morning basketball game he coached, he ran off to chill with his buddies... which was fine... I cooked for my dad and chilled with my dad which was nice. But I missed my boyfriend so bad

PS... Go easy on me I know this is a whiney post

 

[cyrealla]

Careful girl! ur going against the rules by acting a lil needy, the best thing to do right now is give him space, act like you dont care...then watch him switch up

 

[SummerSolstice]

Careful girl! ur going against the rules by acting a lil needy, the best thing to do right now is give him space and act like you dont care...then watch him switch up

lol which rules...
i have never really brought this up so I hope I'm not looking "needy"
and as far as a switch up... I already might be starting a 2nd job next week. I was about to try and coordinate schedules but I was thinking just to do whats best for me... but then its like... if I only think about myself I'm gonna be mad cuz I'm getting less time in

 

[firecracker]

Awww sorry mami. You are not needy. You just want some QT with your man. Life is full of commitments and time management can be wicked in life and relationships. Just try to capitalize on the time you guys do spend together once you carve out the actual time. He just started this new gig so don't panic and over think it. If he cares for you he will make the time.

Oh its better to have a busy man than a lazy ninja trying to lay up under you all the time in your space and place. Maybe start with breakfast dates before his games.

 

[MD_Lady]

Since it sounds like the vast majority of his time away from you is spent at work or coaching basketball (which, I assume, he'd told you about early on), I'd give him a pass. However, since it sounds like Sunday morning was his first free time in a long time, I would have thought he'd chosen to spend it with you instead of his friends (don't get me wrong, he does need to stay in touch with his friends and make time for them, but I think you should have gotten first dibs).

ETA: I missed this the first time around...

So basically we went from being booed up every evening except Mondays (I salsa, he bowls), to now... all i really get is Tuesday and Thursday. ...

Considering all that he has going on, IMO, this is pretty good (and spending time with his friends last Sunday morning makes more sense). I know you miss your SO, but like I said before, because of the reason for all of this, I'd give him a pass.

 

[ElizaBlue]

He works, coaches, has time for his boys, then you. I think his priorites are just a bit tilted. Can you attend his games with him, that may be an opportunity for you two to go hang out after the games.

Maybe there is some church time in there you could do together, I don't know. I don't beat folks over the head about church. My FH and I attend different churches so Sunday mornings we're always apart, unless we are visiting the other's church.

However, after work that is my time. I travel so he can have his free time then...lol. But he's already said during that time he will just work more. So yeah coming from me I think you need more time. Especially during the pms time...I am like a total baby those 5-7 days. Very weepy and very needy....so don't feel bad...at all.

 

[hopeful]

You don't sound needy to me. ITA with ElizaBlue.

 

[gabulldawg]

Am I missing something? I thought your OP said you guys spend Tuesdays and Thursdays together? Then that would mean that you guys have two days a week for each other. Or did I read that wrong? Let me go back and reread...

ETA: Also wanted to add, I don't think you are being needy. I was the same way you were when I was dating. I wanted to spend a lot of time with the person I was dating, which was why I was dating them in the first place. BUT to guys that can definitely appear needy if you whine and cry erplexed about not hanging out with him. So like firecracker said, pretend it doesn't bother you. Make plans to hang with friends or family. If he notices you creating a life outside of him it will intrigue him and make him want to hang out with you. Whining and crying about it will only push him away. Weird, I know, but it's true.

 

[cutiepiesensei]

This might seem really strange but here goes:

In the beginning of me and my SO's relationship, I was like you. He classified it as "needy" because I wanted to be with him all the time and talk to him all the time. Though actually when I think about it, I might have been even worse than you are.

Fast-forward to now. We've been together for nearly 3 years. I love spending time with him still, but I've learned how to be cool by myself as well. So I've been a little less clingy. Funny enough, just last week the SO brought up the change in behavior. Guess what? He said he was sad and actually missed my clinginess lol. Lately he's been trying to get in touch with me more than I have with him and he's been super lovey-dovey. I asked why this was and he just said that he got used to me being one way and he didn't realized how much he actually liked it until it was gone lol.

Moral of the story? Back up a little bit (though I personally don't think you are being needy) and give him time to miss you. It's REALLY hard to do, as you can see it took me years to actually do, but he'll realize the change and started running back lol