Is it true that once you marry sex goes away?
- Thread starter vevster
- Start date
bluwatersoul
Well-Known Member
NOOOooooo, not by a long shot.
Longest time? probably 5 or six weeks, post babies. Outside of that, if someone isnt traveling or sick or something, yeah a week is too long.
Longest time? probably 5 or six weeks, post babies. Outside of that, if someone isnt traveling or sick or something, yeah a week is too long.
GeorginaSparks
Well-Known Member
As far as i know, Vevster isnt married. She was just curious i think. Ive heard about sex dwindling from married couples too.
Sistaslick
New Member
Hahahaa! I wrote an article about this very topic. 
In my experience, there's definitely been slight decrease in quanity over the years, but the quality has definitely improved. 
We "see" each other at least once a week (sometimes twice), but that is nothing compared to the daily visits we used to have during the first year of marriage. There's lots of things that factor into the decline-- but it has nothing to do with our feelings or love for one another. 
Marital Sex Economics
In my experience, there's definitely been slight decrease in quanity over the years, but the quality has definitely improved. We "see" each other at least once a week (sometimes twice), but that is nothing compared to the daily visits we used to have during the first year of marriage. There's lots of things that factor into the decline-- but it has nothing to do with our feelings or love for one another. Marital Sex Economics
Cichelle
Well-Known Member
It certainly is true for some people. Of course, I'm guessing those people aren't always keen on admitting it or talking about it for obvious reasons. Age and how many years you have been married would play a part in it as well.
I can't say how long is too long. It would depend on the sex drive and desires of each person in a relationship.
I can't say how long is too long. It would depend on the sex drive and desires of each person in a relationship.
Sistaslick
New Member
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
I could take it or leave it but I'm pregnant and I've been pregnant since the beginning of our marriage. I'm big and I don't feel sexy and I'm tired all of the time. My son wears me out. I don't get a break with him. Well this is my break now I guess. But that doesn't mean I what to be bothered with a man. I usually give in once or twice a week.
Much2much41
Well-Known Member
One of my ex-boyfriends was adamant about not getting married because he said he has heard of too many instances where wives no longer give up the "goods" on a regular basis after marriage. My response was that maybe some of these husbands weren't doing the same things they did before the marriage to make her WANT to have sex on a regular basis. We never could see eye to eye on that. That's one of the MANY reasons he's an ex 
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
One of my ex-boyfriends was adamant about not getting married because he said he has heard of too many instances where wives no longer give up the "goods" on a regular basis after marriage. My response was that maybe some of these husbands weren't doing the same things they did before the marriage to make her WANT to have sex on a regular basis. We never could see eye to eye on that. That's one of the MANY reasons he's an ex
That could very well be true. I can't even get a foot rub anymore!LOL!
Puddles
On Cloud 9
For some maybe....but for ours....it definitely has increased. On average.....for us is 4xs a week.
Like Sistaslick said....the quality has increased as well. As I've gotten older.....I know my sex drive has increased tremendously and hubby has no complaints.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
For some maybe....but for ours....it definitely has increased. On average.....for us is 4xs a week.
Like Sistaslick said....the quality has increased as well. As I've gotten older.....I know my sex drive has increased tremendously and hubby has no complaints.
Wow! how do you make time for that? Do you have small children? Not to be in your business but is this something that just happens or is it planned, and if so how do you get things started. (If you don't mind me asking?)
When my kids were small I was always tired to. I don't see how you made another one so quickly.
For us it just happens. If it's something I've been thinking about all day I just hug DH and he's ready. With me it's takes a little more time.
Also I think when we had a smaller bed we tended to be intimate more because we were in close contact all night. Now with a larger bed I don't have to touch him at all.
Puddles
On Cloud 9
Wow! how do you make time for that?
Very easily
......Most times it just happens.....but other times I tell him what I want when he gets home from work. And we also go on weekend trips to our favorite Hotel (Hyatt)
Do you have small children?
Not anymore. My youngest is 13. I've always been a stay at home mom.....and gurl I found the time even when both of my kids were babies. Heck.....they don't sleep with us.
I have a high sex drive. He knows I want it when I want it.
Not to be in your business but is this something that just happens or is it planned, and if so how do you get things started. (If you don't mind me asking?)
Like I said before....most times it just happens. Like when we're in the bed getting ready to go to sleep...one of us may start touching on the other or kissing a certain spot. Then....botta boom, botta bing....it's on.
Other times we may plan it. Sometimes that's more fun.....cause that's when you can plan some creative things to do.
Very easily
......Most times it just happens.....but other times I tell him what I want when he gets home from work. And we also go on weekend trips to our favorite Hotel (Hyatt) Do you have small children?
Not anymore. My youngest is 13. I've always been a stay at home mom.....and gurl I found the time even when both of my kids were babies. Heck.....they don't sleep with us.
I have a high sex drive. He knows I want it when I want it.
Not to be in your business but is this something that just happens or is it planned, and if so how do you get things started. (If you don't mind me asking?)
Like I said before....most times it just happens. Like when we're in the bed getting ready to go to sleep...one of us may start touching on the other or kissing a certain spot. Then....botta boom, botta bing....it's on.
Other times we may plan it. Sometimes that's more fun.....cause that's when you can plan some creative things to do.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
My son sleeps with us. We might have slept by ourselves a couple of times.
I've tried to put my son in his own bed, but he wakes up twice at night and wants to cuddle on anybody who will let him. I believe that could be one of the many problems. I wished I had more energy to put on the sexy. My husband doesn't do much to get me in the mood. I think he is stuck in the time when we weren't married with no kids. I'm at a different place now in my life. I don't look the same, I don't feel the same, so I need him to put a little more effort into. I remember he went to the store to get some chocolate syrup and whipped cream and I was half sleep. He thought because he did this I was suppose to get all excited. I wasn't even in the mood. That's what my problem is, when the time is right he doesn't know how to set the mood. I used to be the one that would do stuff like that, but I don't feel like it. I'm too tired.
Last edited:
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
I think that is the route we are going to have to go. Plus we just have a queen size bed! LOL!
Puddles
On Cloud 9
Well I can understand you being tired...especially with being pregnant. I didn't have sex that often while pregnant.....I was very uncomfortable and my tummy was "Huge" My daughter aslo slept with us for 2 1/2 years....now that's when you have to find the time. Gotta keep it spicy.
Don't be mad at me for saying this
and I know some women may not agree......but I agree with hubby. *ducks down*If he was getting it before the kids....he should still be able to get it now. Husbands come before the kids and if you're not giving it to him.....someone else might. Sex plays a big role in a lot of people's relationship....sometimes us as mother's forget that. Maybe that's why a lot of men don't wanna get married. Ok....don't stone me.
((Hugs))
Seeking8Rights
New Member
As a military spouse, my answers will seem odd but has no ill effects on our marriage/intimate life, etc.
The longest we have gone was 91 days (he was deployed to Iraq). Our intimacy during this time was talking on the phone and sending each other love songs (the song or just words), and gifts via mail.
I think it really depends on the situation of each couple. A week may seem too long for some and not long enough for others. For me, 3 weeks is too long.
It's weird because I have friends who are married and they HAVE to be "together" more than once a week. If one week goes by they begin to feel abandoned, etc. This is really strange to me and my hubbie both because we can be totallly content with each other by showing affections, little love squeezes, etc without having sex (well up until the 3rd week). Maybe this is because we have been apart for longer periods of time due to the nature of his job. But as I military spouse, I know it's not uncommon.
We had a queen too. I think once the babies are out you can cuddle at night more and that helps. With us we would sleep right under one another. When I would turn he would turn and that was nice. Also for me being close emotionally helps me get in the mood.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
Well I can understand you being tired...especially with being pregnant. I didn't have sex that often while pregnant.....I was very uncomfortable and my tummy was "Huge" My daughter aslo slept with us for 2 1/2 years....now that's when you have to find the time. Gotta keep it spicy.
Don't be mad at me for saying this
If he was getting it before the kids....he should still be able to get it now. Husbands come before the kids and if you're not giving it to him.....someone else might. Sex plays a big role in a lot of people's relationship....sometimes us as mother's forget that. Maybe that's why a lot of men don't wanna get married. Ok....don't stone me.
I agree with that. Women have so much work to do in a marriage!
Puddles
On Cloud 9
Yeah we do....but so do these men.
Gurl it will all work out for you once you have the baby.....those lil rascals can drain you. ((Hugs))
Seeking8Rights
New Member
Well I can understand you being tired...especially with being pregnant. I didn't have sex that often while pregnant.....I was very uncomfortable and my tummy was "Huge" My daughter aslo slept with us for 2 1/2 years....now that's when you have to find the time. Gotta keep it spicy.
Don't be mad at me for saying this
If he was getting it before the kids....he should still be able to get it now. Husbands come before the kids and if you're not giving it to him.....someone else might. Sex plays a big role in a lot of people's relationship....sometimes us as mother's forget that. Maybe that's why a lot of men don't wanna get married. Ok....don't stone me.
ITA.
But I would also like to add that its best for both of them to communicate and agree on when is good, not so good and how often. It's only fair.
Also, I would work towards first, chilling out the sex part and BOTH focus on getting the little one trained to sleep alone. This is enough pressure as it is, then to have a spouse worrying about sex creates more pressure.
I know for me, the love making is better when mamma is at ease and know that the babies are okay.
It really takes time for stuff like this after a baby is born. Our daughter co-sleeped with us for about 10 months. During this time we have to sneak around the house to get a piece of action. We both worked together when she was 10 months to make her feel comfortable with sleeping by herself, I would have done it sooner, but hubbie wasn't ready until 10 months. Since, then she has been okay sleeping by herself, she is 19 months now.
Puddles
On Cloud 9
True....communication is key in all you do as a couple. In mine.....it's no problen. We've been together over 20yrs so I know him and he knows me......all I have to do is look at him and 'I know' he'll agree.
But Keclee is right.....communicate to see what works for each of you.
I agree about the babies as well. It took our daughter 2 1/2 years to get out of our bed. (Hyatt knew us well then
) Baby sitters come in handy if you can get one.bluwatersoul
Well-Known Member
I would say for each of our 4, it averaged about 1.5-2 years for them to fully get out of the bed. The quickest one out was my youngest at a year, b/c he so wanted to be like his older siblings (yay!) During that time, we would get very creative with where to do it. I remember each time the relief of sex in our own bed
I would say also that as I have gotten older my drive has increased alot, dh is a happy tired man. I think for me it has been an evening out of my hormones or something...my moods are less mercurial, too.
although when I was pregnant, I was hot! It was the month or two after that I was achy and bloated and didnt want any contact.
you have to do what works for you. Because you know how you feel dosent mean he knows, and you have to actually explain to him how your body is feeling, how you are feeling....some men take it as a deep rejection if we say no too often. It took me awhile to figure that one out...duh...
I would say also that as I have gotten older my drive has increased alot, dh is a happy tired man. I think for me it has been an evening out of my hormones or something...my moods are less mercurial, too.
although when I was pregnant, I was hot! It was the month or two after that I was achy and bloated and didnt want any contact.
you have to do what works for you. Because you know how you feel dosent mean he knows, and you have to actually explain to him how your body is feeling, how you are feeling....some men take it as a deep rejection if we say no too often. It took me awhile to figure that one out...duh...
Similar threads
