Is it shallow to not deal with a guy because he isn't a good dresser to you?

[aja1121]

Ok...fashion is kind of a big deal to me. My parents are really fashionable people, I went to school for fashion and it is apart of my life. So when I meet a guy I need him to at least meet me half way and I got the rest.

However, when I meet a guy who has absolutely no potential, they stay in "friend land". My ideal style mate would be Kanye West. He can dress it up, dress it down, he is innovative, classic and eclectic at the same time. That is me all the way.

However, I haven't found a Kanye who wasn't gay or a womanizer, so I fell back. My current SO is pretty good though...I'm his style mate, I'm like his little personal stylist

I was just thinking about all the nice guys who could've been potential SO's or DH's that I stopped talking to because of this. Most of my girlfriends are the same way

Disclaimer: I am referring to guys who look bad, but swear they are doing something, not the shy guys that you can mold.

 

[drasgrl]

I wouldn't not date someone because of their lack of fashion sense, heck I'm far from a fashion plate myself so it wouldn't matter to me. If you didn't like the way they dressed you could always buy their clothes for them. To answer the question yeah I think to discount someone because they chose to dress the way they do is shallow. There's a lot more important things in life than how someone dressed IMHO.

 

[Nola Darling]

My boyfriend sucks at dressing. I just have to make sure I dress him. I get rid of tops that I hate and make sure his out of season clothes are put away where he won't find them. Trust me, he will walk out in bright summer polos in the winter time if I let him.

After a while, most of his clothes ended up pieces that I picked out for him. So he can't really go wrong now

 

[tocktick]

i'd say it is shallow. i've done the same thing myself but i wont pretend it's anything but a very superficial reason for passing on someone. however, how much it effects you depends on what you're looking for in a partner. if you're looking for someone who may be a great dresser and you'd be willing to overlook a major character flaw for that, then i suppose one shouldn't expect marriage. but then there will be guys who throw together whatever random clothes but they are good men.

if you are X age and looking your future dh, then you should be willing to overlook something which is ultimately very minor in the grand scheme of things. plus, clothing is something that can be worked on.

with all that said, i think it's a good thing to have someone who knows how to dress nicely when you guys are out. if you're to attend a corporate function, he shouldn't turn up in casual clothing like he looks good.

 

[aja1121]

Ok, what about a Katt Williams, Bishop Don Juan, or someone just as tacky? See my issue is moreso guys who look this bad, but think they look good.

 

[seeminglysweet]

I don't think it's shallow. It's no different than telling your girl she needs to change her outfit before leaving the house...

I mean if a man can't even dress himself, what else can't he do? It's not that difficult to ask a female friend, sales associate, or more fashionable male friends for help. Heck they can just walk into a store and buy what's on the mannequin. It's a sign of laziness if a man just looks terrible, like he rolled out of bed and didn't even bother to wipe the cold outta his eye. And a man that dresses like bishop don juan, katt williams - that pimp style- well they wouldn't be the type of guy I was looking for if they thought that looking like a pimp is a good look.

 

[glamazon386]

I don't think so. But on the flip side, even the bad dressers can be taught. I think a lot of men just don't know any better. I've had quite a few guy friends ask me for help because they honestly did not know where to start. Maybe they were pushed into the friend category in my head because they couldn't dress all that great. But anyway we can always help them to dress better. Most women pick out their SO's clothes anyway.

 

[Much2much41]

Ok, what about a Katt Williams, Bishop Don Juan, or someone just as tacky? See my issue is moreso guys who look this bad, but think they look good.

I can't call a person shallow for not wanting to date someone who dressed like these guys. Who wants to be the laughing stock of every event you go to? If he doesn't seem like someone I can mold, then that might be a dealbreaker. I certainly don't think a man wants me to go out looking like I walk the streets, so why would I tolerate somebody that dresses like a pimp? erplexed

 

[Esq.2B]

Nope, it's not shallow.

We all have standards. That just happens to be one of yours. And it's one that I can understand.

 

[lexi08]

Yes it is shallow in my opinion. Clothing styles can be changed. I dress nicely, but i'm certainly not the most fashionable person. I would not want a man to disqualify me because of my clothes Maybe I feel this way because I am older, I find that younger women are quick to disqualify men because of superficial things like not driving the right car or wearing certain clothes.

 

[classycrimson]

I think it's shallow...but it's a trait that I share. I recall being with someone and trying to work through our "fashion differences". But one day when he was leaving to go and meet his mentee, and had on an extra medium harley davidson t-shirt tucked into his khaki knee shorts (that were NOT loose), dirty half high top tennis shoes w/ black socks and a baseball cap, I just knew we were heading for impending doom. He didn't want help, either, unless he expressly asked for it. By the way, this wasn't our only problem...lol

However, this certainly wasn't indicative of his financial situation or character and I realize this. I wouldn't have left him if this was our only problem...but it was on the list of things that rubbed me the wrong way.

 

[firecracker]

Kinda but that is something so easy to change. If he's a good hardworking respectful man I really wouldn't care. If you get serious by him outfits for bday, xmas, vday etc. Think about all the well dressed credit screwed no asset having men you could encounter.

 

[reallynow]

Kinda but that is something so easy to change. If he's a good hardworking respectful man I really wouldn't care. If you get serious by him outfits for bday, xmas, vday etc. Think about all the well dressed credit screwed no asset having men you could encounter.

Yep! I think it is borderline. We all have things that we want/need in a mate. It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me because you can change him up and bring him over to the light.

 

[gn1g]

YES!!

Girl that's the best one. and if you decide to keep him leave him that way.

 

[firecracker]

Ok, what about a Katt Williams, Bishop Don Juan, or someone just as tacky? See my issue is moreso guys who look this bad, but think they look good.

So I see you have run into my cousin and brother in their lookalike a pimp suit and bossalino hat!Chile you can't tell those fools nothing in their foul Steve Harvey suits.

 

[firecracker]

Oh snap I wouldn't date a man with my cousin and brother's fashion sense. I thought you were talking like outdated not pimpalishousness!

 

[Ladyhenri]

To me, its shallow. But i can understand how difficult it is to be out looking hot with a guy that isnt up to your standards dress wise. My BF was like that and i nearly didnt get with him, but now three years later, he is a great dresser and we're engaged. Imagine if i hadnt dated him because of his dress sense then i had seen him looking hot with another woman in his arms

 

[lexi08]

Oh snap I wouldn't date a man with my cousin and brother's fashion sense. I thought you were talking like outdated not pimpalishousness!

at pimpalishousness!

 

[BAP28]

i really cant handle a man who can not dress---i like a man who has a variety of clothes in his closet--from sneakers to shoes to tailored sutis and etc

i do noticethat men from different cultures dress drastically different for certain occassions--

i dont do well with timbs and the like--never have never will

i need soemone who knows how to dress according to whatever occassion--now most men do need help at some point--but at least come to me matching--lmao

one time this fine man i was dating tried to come out with me to dinner with brown courdoroys--i almost choked when i saw him open the door--arggghh i made him change!--lol and of course i said it in the nicest surgar-coated way possible

baby those blk pants you have would go so nice with the lace blk bra i have on underneath this dress---dont you wanna match with me babe? lmaooo

knowing damn well he was not gonna see my braanyt ime that night--ok he saw it another night but im saying--but come on brown courdoroys

 

[bluediamond0829]

Well i want someone that reflects my style and that knows somewhat how to keep himself together...

my last guy friend he was 32 years old but he dressed just as old as my Dad. One time i asked him if he had any tennis shoes or Nike's i mean he would wear jeans with just some black looking shoes and a polo type shirt with the collar. I mean sometimes he would look decent, but some of the things he would wear I would be like okay is that from your Dad's closet?And i think that he really didnt know what he could look good in because he was kind of big and short at the same time. (turn off)

I mean no i dont want a man that has his jeans falling off his behind either, and im not big on the whole Kanye West/Kat Williams type dresser either.

I like jeans, tshirt, and some Nike's when chilling or movies or sometimes going out. But knows how to clean it up too.

But i wouldnt disqualify the guy if he wasnt big on fashion either. (Girl please right now im grabbing for any decent guy that comes my way the rest can be upgraded later). Like Bey song 'Upgrade U'

 

[chellero]

I think that it's shallow and that someone dressing well hasn't got much to do with what kind of person they are.

 

[lexi08]

I think that it's shallow and that someone dressing well hasn't got much to do with what kind of person they are.

You are right, some of the best dressed guys I have known have been straight up *** holes. Some were very shallow and superficial too

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

i'd say it is shallow. i've done the same thing myself but i wont pretend it's anything but a very superficial reason for passing on someone. however, how much it effects you depends on what you're looking for in a partner. if you're looking for someone who may be a great dresser and you'd be willing to overlook a major character flaw for that, then i suppose one shouldn't expect marriage. but then there will be guys who throw together whatever random clothes but they are good men.

if you are X age and looking your future dh, then you should be willing to overlook something which is ultimately very minor in the grand scheme of things. plus, clothing is something that can be worked on.

with all that said, i think it's a good thing to have someone who knows how to dress nicely when you guys are out. if you're to attend a corporate function, he shouldn't turn up in casual clothing like he looks good.

..................

 

[Ms Red]

It's not a dealbreaker for me. As long as we're working with something and he can stand get molded, then we're cool. Although the first thing I noticed about my bf was how fly and sharp he was looking that night. lol Guess i'm shallow too...

 

[brownsugarflyygirl]

I think that the way a man dresses is just part of the attraction for me. In high school and college, I always had an affinity towards the "pretty boys." So for me, its just a tendency. I will say that I was dating this guy who was very physically attractive (face, body, height, etc.) but his clothes were just not right...and it made him overall less physically attractive to me...so yes...the way that a guy dresses is important....along with 3000 other characteristics. I dont think its shallow at all...your criteria are just that YOUR criteria....everybody has their own idosyncracies when it comes to attraction and clothes are just yours...and one of mine too

 

[cocoberry10]

I don't think it's shallow, because it's very important to you (and you've explained why really well)!

However, I think this is one of those things that is "fluid," meaning it can change, if he's willing. This is one of your "strengths" and you can help a guy out (I know you probably don't want to).

A lot of men don't have fashion sense b/c that's not usually thought of as a "guy" thing. But think of it like this. The captain of Revenge of the Nerds could easily become Mr. GQ with the right tools. I think classic men's fashion can be very sexy, when it's paired with the right accessories (i.e. a great shirt paired with a contrasting tie). With you, your man could go from blah to rah!

From This:

To This:

 

[fluffylocks]

I was thinking about this yesterday

I actually WILL NOT date someone who dresses like kanye west. I like really masculine and carefree men opposed to pretty boy and very picky.

I like for them to know how to dress up, but when we're hanging around--Sweats, Jeans, T-shirts Actually not attracted at all to vests, scarves, sunshades, loafers, Short shirts and going with all the new trends and whatevers "high fashion", i like them to just know their style ect.

Because thats how i am....I work partime in a clothing store, and i buy ALOT of clothes, but im not all into the big name brands and whats popular at the moment, I know how to dress for all occasions....but when im home/hangin. Jeans/Sweats, Tees. I couldnt have some high maintence man who wants me up to some different standard than me and im all basic.

So, i dont think its shawllow, just what you prefer.

Maybe when i get older, I'll want someone who dresses up all the time (doubt it)

,

 

[aja1121]

i really cant handle a man who can not dress---i like a man who has a variety of clothes in his closet--from sneakers to shoes to tailored sutis and etc

i do noticethat men from different cultures dress drastically different for certain occassions--

i dont do well with timbs and the like--never have never will

i need soemone who knows how to dress according to whatever occassion--now most men do need help at some point--but at least come to me matching--lmao

one time this fine man i was dating tried to come out with me to dinner with brown courdoroys--i almost choked when i saw him open the door--arggghh i made him change!--lol and of course i said it in the nicest surgar-coated way possible

baby those blk pants you have would go so nice with the lace blk bra i have on underneath this dress---dont you wanna match with me babe? lmaooo

knowing damn well he was not gonna see my braanyt ime that night--ok he saw it another night but im saying--but come on brown courdoroys

Yes, all I asked for is variety and potential, I can do the rest. And I don't do timbs either, nike/acg boots are fine though.

 

[Suerte]

Ok...fashion is kind of a big deal to me. My parents are really fashionable people, I went to school for fashion and it is apart of my life. So when I meet a guy I need him to at least meet me half way and I got the rest.

However, when I meet a guy who has absolutely no potential, they stay in "friend land". My ideal style mate would be Kanye West. He can dress it up, dress it down, he is innovative, classic and eclectic at the same time. That is me all the way.

However, I haven't found a Kanye who wasn't gay or a womanizer, so I fell back. My current SO is pretty good though...I'm his style mate, I'm like his little personal stylist

I was just thinking about all the nice guys who could've been potential SO's or DH's that I stopped talking to because of this. Most of my girlfriends are the same way

Disclaimer: I am referring to guys who look bad, but swear they are doing something, not the shy guys that you can mold.

Yes it's shallow to not deal with a guy because he isn't a good dresser to you.

 

[tinkat]

Yes I think that it is shallow and a person can miss out on a great mate. A person can always be taught how to dress appropriately.