Is chivalry necessary?

delitefulmane

delitefulmane

Well-Known Member
....when you are not in a relationship with a guy?


I'm asking because I have been taught to always let the guy open the door for you, but when Im not with my guy I feel weird making random guys open doors for me. :look: In the past, when I have walked up to a door expecting the guy behind me to jump around and open the door for me, I have been left looking at a door swinging open and close in front of me:perplexed :lol: SO....

WHAT SAY YOU, LADIES? DO YOU EXPECT ANY GUY TO OPEN DOORS FOR YOU OR ONLY A SPECIAL GUY?
 
I don't EXPECT guys who don't know me to open doors, or carry my groceries, or anything like that.

But I think they should :look:
 
I don't expect it from randoms but I expect it on dates. If we're just kicking it at a mall or something as friends I don't expect it. I make him hold my purse instead. :look: :lol:

As for my boyfriend, he needs to know how to do it if he's going to be my boyfriend in the first place.
 
HELL YES! I expect every man to treat me with respect. Perfect strangers open doors for me all the time and especially if we are friends. ` Cause I'm a lady that's why!


 
From random dudes? It's not nessecary (sp?), but I do expect it since that's what happens most of the time for me anyway. Crackheads, bums, homeless men will open the door for me lol. So on the rare chance that someone doesn't, it usually catches me off guard. I don't care though...since he not mah man lol.

I always reach for and open the door for myself first (this is if he doesn't do it first...which is usually the case). If there's a dude behind me he usually takes over at that point and grabs the door for me.

I never just walk up to a door, stop at it, peer behind me at the guy like 'what? You ain't got no home trainin nicca!?' and wait til opens the door :lol: That's what you do? That's funny! :lol:

I have a friend who will slow down walking when she sees a guy behind her so that she'll wind up in front of him. So he can be at the door first and open it all the way for her :lachen:

I always make sure to practically YELL thank you with a smile on my face so they will continue to do it. Positive reinforcement lol

Sent from my WX445 using WX445
 
qchelle said:
From random dudes? It's not nessecary (sp?), but I do expect it since that's what happens most of the time for me anyway. Crackheads, bums, homeless men will open the door for me lol. So on the rare chance that someone doesn't, it usually catches me off guard. I don't care though...since he not mah man lol.

I always reach for and open the door for myself first (this is if he doesn't do it first...which is usually the case). If there's a dude behind me he usually takes over at that point and grabs the door for me.

I never just walk up to a door, stop at it, peer behind me at the guy like 'what? You ain't got no home trainin nicca!?' and wait til opens the door :lol: That's what you do? That's funny! :lol:

I have a friend who will slow down walking when she sees a guy behind her so that she'll wind up in front of him. So he can be at the door first and open it all the way for her :lachen:

I always make sure to practically YELL thank you with a smile on my face so they will continue to do it. Positive reinforcement lol

Sent from my WX445 using WX445
Click to expand...

:lol:

I mean yeah if you are trying to date me and be my friend and all that then yeah you need to be chivalrous but some random dude on the street? I'm trying to get to my car without worrying about you knifing me, I ain't thinking bout making you open no doors for me :lol:
 
Most men like being chivalrous, but I think many are out of the habit--they sort of have to be inspired to chivalry or something. On days when I'm dressed and feeling especially ladylike, I get more doors opened for me, seats given up, etc. I like it :)

I also agree with the positive reinforcement :lol: Eye contact and a real smiley "thank you" :yep:
 
Yes. I enjoy when men help to carry my packages or open doors. DH opens doors for me and rushes to get out of the car so he can then let me out (and he helps me in the car). I especially appreciated it when this random guy helped me a few months ago carry my rolling work bag over a snow drift. He asked if I needed help, I declined, but then nearly fell trying to get my purse, shoulder bag and rolling bag through the snow. He ran over to help and lifted my heavy bag over the snow drift.

He must live nearby since his friends (man & woman) walked by and starting joking a little about him being so sweet to help a lady. I hope that did not discourage him.


ETA: The best is when random strange men help me put up and take down my carryon luggage on a plane. 95% of the time men do help me and I appreciate it. :grin:
 
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Yes. I believe it is necessary. It's the little things that help make up the big picture. To me, "chivalry" is really the act of showing kindness, caring, and love.
 
I expect it. It is necessary in and out of a relationship. I am a feminine woman and I expect to be treated as such.

But I don't demand it and if you aren't chivalrous than...you get the side eye. Thats just how I roll.
 
I definitely expect men to open doors for me whether they know me or not and no matter how old or young. I taught my boys at a VERY young age to always run up and open the doors for women. Sometimes they'd be standing there holding it for 10 people but so what. They hold it until the next gentleman comes through and he takes over.

It seems like people don't teach their children this anymore. It irks me when a guy slams a door in my face or stands there waiting for me to open it. If a date or boyfriend did that to me he would be history.

And if a guy is already opening a door and you're within a certain distance from the door then yes, he should wait there and hold it for you.

It's called manners. I'm a woman and I wouldn't even slam a door in another woman's face behind me.
 
I don't expect if from random dudes; I get it and I allow them to do it. If he's behind me and reaches out....I step aside and allow him to do it.
 
I expect it. I think all women should expect it. It is a disservice to ALL not to.

That is why guys are so inconsistent. There are men who are taught/raised to carry out chivalrous acts etc. yet they never have an opportunity to do so.

Some women don't expect it, others women don't care either way, and there are those who don't want it at all. Then there are women who absolutely rely on chivalry (me!). So most men are confused :lol: .

I try to be patient when men fall short in that area because I do understand the position they are in at times. But I absolutely let them know where I stand. :yep:
 
qchelle said:
From random dudes? It's not nessecary (sp?), but I do expect it since that's what happens most of the time for me anyway. Crackheads, bums, homeless men will open the door for me lol. So on the rare chance that someone doesn't, it usually catches me off guard. I don't care though...since he not mah man lol.
Click to expand...

This! Like I personally feel offended if a man doesn't step aside and let me on/off the elevator first, although I know I shouldn't lol. Plus I notice it kinda goes hand on hand with how you look that day. :look:
 
Hairsnob said:
I definitely expect men to open doors for me whether they know me or not and no matter how old or young. I taught my boys at a VERY young age to always run up and open the doors for women. Sometimes they'd be standing there holding it for 10 people but so what. They hold it until the next gentleman comes through and he takes over.

It seems like people don't teach their children this anymore. It irks me when a guy slams a door in my face or stands there waiting for me to open it. If a date or boyfriend did that to me he would be history.

And if a guy is already opening a door and you're within a certain distance from the door then yes, he should wait there and hold it for you.

It's called manners. I'm a woman and I wouldn't even slam a door in another woman's face behind me.
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They don't. It's as simple as that. And yes, I expect it. We all should, IMO.
 
Outside of a relationship-no. Just simple courtesy, so long as you are grown (and not handicapped in any way) you can take care of yourself. I'd hold the door for anyone behind me, and I expect the same. But in the end these people don't owe me anything, just because I was born with ovaries. In a relationship is a different matter.

ETA: Its the same way some men walk around feeling entitled to being cooked for, or respected by women simply because "he's a man" :ohwell:. Somethings are not "freebies" in my book.

That said, I still appreciate it when it is offered.
 
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mischka said:
I don't EXPECT anything from strangers. I would hope they would but I know better than to expect (let alone demand) anything from a complete stranger.
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Well, any man who acts rudely to me can EXPECT the side-eye. Stranger or no. There is no excuse for bad manners. But, lately it seems that good manners are no longer the norm in today's society. As for demands, I wouldn't demand them from a stranger. But men I know? Don't have to, they were properly raised.
 
lol i just posted about this in OT. I expected it in college cuz that was the culture there. I got a rude awakening after I graduated, which was funny because I never expected from any of the guys around me growing up! :lol:
 
qchelle said:
I never just walk up to a door, stop at it, peer behind me at the guy like 'what? You ain't got no home trainin nicca!?' and wait til opens the door :lol: That's what you do? That's funny! :lol:
Click to expand...

I tend to slow down when I'm approaching the door -- I didn't notice how I did that until recently :look:
 
qchelle said:
From random dudes? It's not nessecary (sp?), but I do expect it since that's what happens most of the time for me anyway. Crackheads, bums, homeless men will open the door for me lol. So on the rare chance that someone doesn't, it usually catches me off guard. I don't care though...since he not mah man lol.

I always reach for and open the door for myself first (this is if he doesn't do it first...which is usually the case). If there's a dude behind me he usually takes over at that point and grabs the door for me.

I never just walk up to a door, stop at it, peer behind me at the guy like 'what? You ain't got no home trainin nicca!?' and wait til opens the door :lol: That's what you do? That's funny! :lol:

I have a friend who will slow down walking when she sees a guy behind her so that she'll wind up in front of him. So he can be at the door first and open it all the way for her :lachen:

I always make sure to practically YELL thank you with a smile on my face so they will continue to do it. Positive reinforcement lol

Sent from my WX445 using WX445
Click to expand...

:lachen: This was me the other day til I realized the guy behind me wasn't even thinking about getting the door for me. I guess
because my family taught me "old school" values (at least it seems like a disappearing trend), I expect it! Just like the guy should walk closest to the street when we're walking together. Or the guy should face the door to the restaurant in case he ever needs to :brucelee: someone who enters! :grin:

Hairsnob said:
I definitely expect men to open doors for me whether they know me or not and no matter how old or young. I taught my boys at a VERY young age to always run up and open the doors for women. Sometimes they'd be standing there holding it for 10 people but so what. They hold it until the next gentleman comes through and he takes over.

It seems like people don't teach their children this anymore. It irks me when a guy slams a door in my face or stands there waiting for me to open it. If a date or boyfriend did that to me he would be history.

And if a guy is already opening a door and you're within a certain distance from the door then yes, he should wait there and hold it for you.

It's called manners. I'm a woman and I wouldn't even slam a door in another woman's face behind me.
Click to expand...

EXACTLY! THIS IS WHAT I MEAN. MANNERS ARE LIKE SHOOTING STARS NOWADAYS! :nono:
 
Victorian said:
Most men like being chivalrous, but I think many are out of the habit--they sort of have to be inspired to chivalry or something. On days when I'm dressed and feeling especially ladylike, I get more doors opened for me, seats given up, etc. I like it :)

I also agree with the positive reinforcement :lol: Eye contact and a real smiley "thank you" :yep:
Click to expand...
ITA

Hairsnob said:
I definitely expect men to open doors for me whether they know me or not and no matter how old or young. I taught my boys at a VERY young age to always run up and open the doors for women. Sometimes they'd be standing there holding it for 10 people but so what. They hold it until the next gentleman comes through and he takes over.
Click to expand...
I always make eye contact with the little men and say "Thank you sir". They usually end up grinning ear to ear.
 
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