Is chivalry annoying?

lipyt

lipyt

New Member
On saturday I met up with this guy who's a friend of a friend. We danced all night because edancing is my passion. Well I accidentally left 2 hair clips in his car when he dropped me off. So each time I called him trying to arrange a time to go get the clips he's like " I can't wait to see you again" "I can't wait to meet your mom" In my head i was like I don't even know you!
So yesturday I went over to his house to get the clips. As i pulled in he opened my car door for me. Which was annoying because I was putting things away and turning off my phone before I stepped out so he was waiting for me to wrap up what i was doing while holding on to the door handle. I was like...ok. When we got inside ijust wanted to get my clips and bounce. He was insistent I go upstairs to his room and drink some drink his friend made special for me. Its like he wouldn't take no for an answer! So every time i had to walk he would try to put his arm around my arm to walk me. And each time I would pull my arm away.
Then he kept trying to ask me if he could kiss me. And he also kept trying to talk about our relationship (which we don't have) like "I always treat my girlfriends with lots of repect.." EVENTHOUGH i had told him a million times I'm just out of a relationship I'm not interested in any one. I'm just looking for friends.
Was he annoying or am I too sensitive?
 
I do think it's chilvary. I think you find it annoying because you are not feeling him like that. If you were, you would have thought he was the sweetest guy. Another thing is that women don't expect much chilvary anymore (sadly to say). So when they do get it, it feels strange.
 
He would like speed ahead to open all doors for me. He even rushed to open my car door for me when i was leaving. i was like you don't have to open my car door for me...I can do it. He said "but what if you had just painted your nails. i wouldn't want you to mess them up" :look::look::look::nono::ohwell::sad:
 
I guess i focused on him trying to get her up to his room and the begging for a kiss - which to me, is not chivalry.


it's it is, i guess I don't know what chivalry is :lol:
 
Keen said:
I do think it's chilvary. I think you find it annoying because you are not feeling him like that. If you were, you would have thought he was the sweetest guy. Another thing is that women don't expect much chilvary anymore (sadly to say). So when they do get it, it feels strange.
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That could be but I wouldn't expect my friend..let alone an aquiantance to be so aggressive. Like he was in my personal space! Trying to hold my arm... it was weird. You're right if I knew him better and he was acting like that maybe it would have been more natural
 
DSylla said:
I guess i focused on him trying to get her up to his room and the begging for a kiss - which to me, is not chivalry.


it's it is, i guess I don't know what chivalry is :lol:
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:lachen:me neither:nono:
And the kiss thing seemed like his attempt to be romantic cuz he was like "I'm watching you talk to me. You're eyes are soo beautiful. And your mouth is perfect. I'm wondering, when can i kiss that mouth." I'm like not now that for sure he goes "Not even a little kiss?" I'm like...:look:...no.:nono:
 
That's just a tad bit creepy. I'd tell him straight up to stop trying to get close like that. Get my stuff and leave. I mean it's cool if he's hitting on you but there's a way to go about it - he came on way too strong and smothering.
 
The only thing remotely chivalrous in your story was him opening the car door for you. The rest of that was just him being overeager and trying to get some.
 
Exactly,

And to answer your question to me no chivalary is not annoying. I love to be treated as a woman should and I shouldn't have to open my doors or carry anything when a gentleman is around. My husband is like that and so was my ex before my husband. And the ex before my husband was my friend before he was my SO and he still opened my door for me. I have also gotten my son doing the same thing. If we are at the store after I pay I will walk off, it is he responsiblity to get the bags and put them in the car, when we are going somewhere he will open my door. If chivalry was around more we wouldn't think of it as annoying just something that was done.

Bunny77 said:
The only thing remotely chivalrous in your story was him opening the car door for you. The rest of that was just him being overeager and trying to get some.
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No, real chivalry is not annoying. He was not being chivalrous (sp) he likes you and you are not feeling him.

I love when my man opens my door, pulls a chair out for me, stands when I leave and come back to the table and I can go on. I let him know that I appreciate it all.
 
LadyR said:
Exactly,

And to answer your question to me no chivalary is not annoying. I love to be treated as a woman should and I shouldn't have to open my doors or carry anything when a gentleman is around. My husband is like that and so was my ex before my husband. And the ex before my husband was my friend before he was my SO and he still opened my door for me. I have also gotten my son doing the same thing. If we are at the store after I pay I will walk off, it is he responsiblity to get the bags and put them in the car, when we are going somewhere he will open my door. If chivalry was around more we wouldn't think of it as annoying just something that was done.
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ladyr,

i agree with you.

he was chilvarous in opening the door but so suspect with wanting op to come in his room to drink a drink that was already prepared (which i hope she didn't drink)
 
I did drink it:nono:. I took a couple of sips. I'm half haitian and he is full. So it was a Haitian drink called Cremas. And he had a friend prepare it special for when i came over. I kept telling him no over and over again but he was insistent. So I took like 3 sips. He is 9 years older than me with 2 sons. The oldest one is 12. I'm 26. But he is just too pushy for me!
ladylibra_30 said:
ladyr,

i agree with you.

he was chilvarous in opening the door but so suspect with wanting op to come in his room to drink a drink that was already prepared (which i hope she didn't drink)
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Now he's just calling me like every hour! I told him I wasn't in to him and I wasn't interested yall! i was really blunt... But he's really not geting it..
 
:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:@ the thread title...sometimes it is, some of the stuff is from when women were so incapacitated by their garments and shoes that they really couldn't do for themselves.

I do enjoy chivalry but it can be overdone :)
 
LadyR said:
Exactly,

And to answer your question to me no chivalary is not annoying. I love to be treated as a woman should and I shouldn't have to open my doors or carry anything when a gentleman is around. My husband is like that and so was my ex before my husband. And the ex before my husband was my friend before he was my SO and he still opened my door for me. I have also gotten my son doing the same thing. If we are at the store after I pay I will walk off, it is he responsiblity to get the bags and put them in the car, when we are going somewhere he will open my door. If chivalry was around more we wouldn't think of it as annoying just something that was done.
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GURL you need to school me on how to get some of that Chivalry!:lachen:Hubby wasn't really raised to be chivalrous so I've been working on him. Like I'll stay in the car or I'll wait by a door to give him an opportunity to do right and be da man!:grin: Sometimes he'll LEAVE me in the car or walk right past me when we're going inside a building just to mess with me:wallbash::lol: Chivalry is NOT annoying! Shoot, it should be a required class for all boys in school!:yep:
 
That guy is laying it on thick and it doesn't seem genuine to me. He obviously thinks he's smart. :rolleyes: This isn't chivalry, it's called playing games.
 
Chivalry will never be annoying to me…not true chivalry anyway! If he was just trying to kiss you, that might not be chivalry. But I personally will not tolerate a man that does not open doors for me, and is not polite. And that’s all there is to that:yep:
 
lipyt said:
He was insistent I go upstairs to his room and drink some drink his friend made special for me.
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:nono: I'm Nigerian. I don't drink special drinks nobody made for me. Even if he didn't spike it, the Naija side of me is like "we wrestle not against flesh and blood..." The Naijas on board know what I'm talking about. Back home, you don't go drinking just anything even if it is scientifically safe.

Oh and as for your question, your guy wasn't chivalrous. He was pushy and only being polite as a way to get to you.

True chivalry is done for no other reason than respect of your femininity. It is not a way to get in your pants...which is why most "gentlemen" are really just f-cking pricks undercover. The moment they don't want something from you, their "chivalry" flies out the window.

For real!!! Let a sexy beast open a door, stand up when I leave and come back, help me with my coat....cootchie coupon!!! :look:
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:lachen:Damn girl, all a hot guy has to do is game you, huh?
 
LadyR said:
Exactly,

And to answer your question to me no chivalary is not annoying. I love to be treated as a woman should and I shouldn't have to open my doors or carry anything when a gentleman is around. My husband is like that and so was my ex before my husband. And the ex before my husband was my friend before he was my SO and he still opened my door for me. I have also gotten my son doing the same thing. If we are at the store after I pay I will walk off, it is he responsiblity to get the bags and put them in the car, when we are going somewhere he will open my door. If chivalry was around more we wouldn't think of it as annoying just something that was done.
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:worship2:OMG i LOVE IT!!!! I just got schooled. I cant wait to start doing this. But on the real, I appreciate all the mothers of male children who raise them to be respectful like this. And on the flip, we've gotta start raising our girls to expect this type of treatment. You get major props LadyR
 
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