InterOffice Romance :)

[MizzBrown]

I've been w/ my SO(ex) for a 1 1/2 yrs working together and only a handful of people know. That's only because they peeped the way we made "googly eyes" at each other and just watched my behavior and figured it out. I denied it for as long as possible then just gave up.

If someone i dont know/like asks me then I still deny..none of their damn business.

It works out because he works on the opposite side of the building and I can go days w/o actually seeing him because of our opposite work schedules.

We just started taking our breaks together recently when possible and we make sure that we arent too suspicious because I dont want people in my business and I dont want people bothering him.

People dont want much to do w/ u until they realize youre taken.

What's funny is when guys say something to me or get too close and he notices, he gets upset but he cant show it cause they dont know i'm with him and we keep our business private.

 

[JewelleNY]

JewelleNY-this sounds so cute..


I think everything will work out.
It's great to hear that he is so into you...

Thanks Yankgal Yea, I am so surprised that he is into me

 

[JewelleNY]

hi jewelle!

im glad you found someone you like. But like CBC said keep it as private as possible. don't tell your coworkers ANYTHING!! and try to be as discrete as you can.

Hi Loca!

I agree, I am trying to be discrete. One coworker is frustrating me because every morning she has to make some comment like, "I saw that you and "G" came in at the same time" or "I'm going to ask him what ya'll are doing, I know you two are talking" grrrrrrr! She won't leave it alone. i think she just watches everything so she can know for sure we are dating. I worry that she will try to sabotage things because of my history with her. I just try to stay neutral.

 

[JewelleNY]

Jewelle, I'm so happy for you.

I vote for keeping it private except it looks like the jig is up. Its great when the guy is so smitten like this. My concern is if keeping it so tightly under wraps affects the relationship from developing as it normally would, you know? Usually, you two would talk during the day and such, but you're having to curtail that kind of behavior.

Yes, i do worry about this too. I am a worrier It's just so strange when there are a bunch of us in the room together and we have to play it cool, it can get really awkward. That's why I wanted to hear other ladies experinces.

 

[JewelleNY]

I dated and married in the workplace. I've shared my story before, let me see if I can dig it up.

It will work out, so try to focus on the positive things like this new budding relationship! I'm so happy for you, I think that thread you started before had a lot of good advice regarding your crush and now look! I loves it!!!

Yes, it had so much good advice, I actually started dressing nicer and really looking cute I really had stopped paying him much attention and was surprised when i noticed that he was noticing

 

[JewelleNY]

I've been w/ my SO(ex) for a 1 1/2 yrs working together and only a handful of people know. That's only because they peeped the way we made "googly eyes" at each other and just watched my behavior and figured it out. I denied it for as long as possible then just gave up.

If someone i dont know/like asks me then I still deny..none of their damn business.

It works out because he works on the opposite side of the building and I can go days w/o actually seeing him because of our opposite work schedules.

We just started taking our breaks together recently when possible and we make sure that we arent too suspicious because I dont want people in my business and I dont want people bothering him.

People dont want much to do w/ u until they realize youre taken.

What's funny is when guys say something to me or get too close and he notices, he gets upset but he cant show it cause they dont know i'm with him and we keep our business private.

I'm glad to hear that it has worked out for you, I think having different work schedules and different locations can really help. I am fortunate that we work mostly in the field so that we are not in each other's face constantly. I agree with keeping things private

 

[Silkycoils]

DON'T DO IT!!!!! (I'm okay, I'm okay . . . )

 

[JewelleNY]

DON'T DO IT!!!!! (I'm okay, I'm okay . . . )

aaahhh, where were you about a month ago when I should have heeded this warning

 

[MzLady78]

aaahhh, where were you about a month ago when I should have heeded this warning

Uh oh!

What happened, mami?

 

[trini_rican]

aaahhh, where were you about a month ago when I should have heeded this warning

You ready to throw that book at his head ma?

 

[JewelleNY]

Uh oh!

What happened, mami?

I just can't get into it right now, what a mess, I'm just done

 

[frostydoll]

I just can't get into it right now, what a mess, I'm just done

Awww I was hoping things would go well for you. Men suck!!!

 

[*Happily Me*]

I just can't get into it right now, what a mess, I'm just done

just left you a message (((hugs)))

hang in there

 

[MzLady78]

I just can't get into it right now, what a mess, I'm just done

I understand.

Sorry things didn't work out.

(((HUGS)))

ETA: Damn, it must have been real bad- I just saw your post in the happily single, happily coupled or happily married thread from last week!

 

[locabouthair]

oh no. im sorry to hear that.

 

[bLackButtaFly]

I just can't get into it right now, what a mess, I'm just done

Oh no I hope everything works out how ever it's supposed to.

 

[JewelleNY]

Hey ladies, thanks for the concern, I really appreciate it

Relationships are challenging, that's all I can say (long post, sorry )

Well, I'll try to give the short version:

I had told my SO that I didn't want us to talk about seeing each other to anyone in the office. Mainly, I didn't trust my evil coworker/office mate who had sabotagued another relatioship of mine, long story (telling him I was cheating, not wearing the things he bought me, etc ). So, she and my other coworker can tell he likes me and that we are seeing each other because it was so difficult to hide. Plus, I had a sneaking feeling that she was talking to him behind my back, too many coincidences.

So, we have Secret Santa, I don't participate by SO does. Evil Coworker (EC) is heading up the party committee. I see her picking names in the hall and she keeps putting names back until she finally agrees to keep one (I absolutely KNEW at that time that it was his name, call it women's intuition ) She does not know I was watching her.

So, over the weekend, she calls me and says, "What size does SO wear?" I'm like what??? She says, "What size does your boo wear?" ) I'm like "Why?" She says she picked him for SS . I say I don't know. So she then askes "What's his fav color?" And I say "Red". So we move on after a little more convo where I am like erplexed

So then, Monday night after everyone exchanges gifts, SO is talking to me on the phone and I ask what he got. He says EC picked him and I said "I knew it, I saw her picking and choosing names" He said EC bought him a gift card to Gap and says to him "I was going to get you something red which I know is your favorite color but I couldn't find anything so I got you this card" He then asks me how she knew that and I was fumbling and said I told her and he was like I thought no one knew we were dating and I made up some flimsy excuse. He laughed and said she said it like she wanted him to know that she knew She is such a **** I wanted to scream. He never cared that anyone knew, it was always me because I wanted to try and keep things in check and try to prevent her from being so much in my business but I guess that didn't work out

I confronted her today and she grew real defensive and said it was an accident and she is stressed out I have asked her too many times to count to please keep that info between us, now I look like a liar to him which does not matter anymore because that is over anyway. I guess I will tell that tale another day.

Sorry so long

 

[JewelleNY]

Ok, I guess it is just a tell-all night for me

Night before my job interview, I am talking to ex and he starts conve by asking how do you know someone is the one? We then talk about it and I wonder where he is going. He then says "you are psychic Jewelle, tell me about myself and what you think is going to happen" and I'm like

So, I told him he needs to communicate better because I really don't know what he is feeling. The other day I had asked him if he is still seeing anyone else (because we had never really had that talk specifically). He says, "just hanging out" but I never ask for clarification. So, that night I asked him to clarify "hanging out". He goes on to say that he is still seeing a young lady who is in love with someone else and the only reason they are not more serious is because of her. But they go on walks and to eat and talk on the phone, yadda, yadda, yadda .

I tell him I am already stressed about my interview at 8:30 the next morning so please can we talk after because he was starting to bring me down He says, "no, let me finish" So then he says they went out to eat the Friday before he and I first went out. Ladies, we were supposed to go out that Friday and I remembered he had called and said he was so busy with his mom he had to cancel So I catch the lie and ask him if that was the same night he and I were supposed to hang out and he said yea So I say again, "please, can we talk later, I am feeling terrible and I have to get up early" and has says again he wants to finish erplexed

Soooo, he goes on to say that the first night that we went out (he picked me up and we went to a lounge) he thought that we were just going as friends and that I was going to hang with my girls and he was going to do his thing Who picks up a girl to just go out and meet other girls, I'm not that dumb

So, by then my chest hurts because this is all so unexpected and I was already stressed out about my job interview. All I am saying is okkaaayyy. I tell him I really have to go and just hang up. He texts me that he is just a lying a**hole and I don't deserve him and blah, blah, blah, and I have to grow up and my head isn't in the right place, blah, blah, blah I text him back and say "you could have told me that from the beginning, we could have just been friends, I'm done, good luck ex."

I could not sleep that whole night and stuttered througout my interview. My eyes were puffballs and I had to ask them to repeat questions several times I can only thank God and my guardian angels because I still don't know how I was picked for the job, I thought it was all over for me.

Ladies, I am not one to assume much with men, my friends had to convince me that he was really feeling me. He has put my pic on his cell, planned to meet my sis next week (his idea), had plans for Friday before I go out of town, was so obvious at work that EVERYONE knew I feel so used and manipulated and I think that hurts more than breaking up. I had just told my gf that I though ex was so kind and sweet and I was so lucky

 

[Bunny77]

Jewelle, I am so sorry.

 

[locabouthair]

aww jewelle im so sorry. I'm glad you got picked for the job. Congrats! at leats now you dont have to deal with EC and the ex.

 

[JewelleNY]

aaawww, thanks ladies I am sorry the posts were so long and confusing, I don't write well when I am upset, I had to go and rearrange some things because I had put everything in the wrong order

I am so glad to finally get away from EC, I thnk my whole outlook will improve without her negative butt around me. I wonder why she seems to get so much pleasure treating me like crap And I am dumb for continuing to give her chance after chance when she is acting nice The ex situation was really out of nowhere My friend says guys like a challenge and I feel that guys don't see me as a challenge anymore now that I want to settle down. I feel like I just can't get it right

 

[Cincysweetie]

I did it before and it was enough for me to say I wouldn't do it again. I forgot this awhile back when I had a crush on this guy at my new job and the situation got a lil sh*tty...which just reaffirmed to me that I could not go there ever again!

I'm sorry to sound so negative, I'm sure your situation is much diffferent from mine...I wish you luck!

 

[Keen]

aaawww, thanks ladies I am sorry the posts were so long and confusing, I don't write well when I am upset, I had to go and rearrange some things because I had put everything in the wrong order

I am so glad to finally get away from EC, I thnk my whole outlook will improve without her negative butt around me. I wonder why she seems to get so much pleasure treating me like crap And I am dumb for continuing to give her chance after chance when she is acting nice The ex situation was really out of nowhere My friend says guys like a challenge and I feel that guys don't see me as a challenge anymore now that I want to settle down. I feel like I just can't get it right

Congrats on your new job! Hold your head up. It would have been awkward for you to see him after this. This is a great blessing.

 

[*Happily Me*]

awwww,

The good this is, you have a new job AND a new year is starting. Out with the old and in with the new.

Screw him and he's right - you don't deserve him. you deserve MUCH better!

(((hugs)))

 

[Bunny77]

Oh yeah, congrats on the new job! Perfect timing for you.

Just don't be eyein' ole Bill too long while you're on the rebound.

 

[SeatownSista]

I'm upset for you. It sucks to be mislead. UGH!! Thank goodness you found a new position. It sounds like your current job is a toxic environment, especially with that sneaky coworker. She is probably just jealous of you. Everything happens for a reason though. Perhaps this new job will lead you to your true love. Not necessarily another interoffice romance, but maybe you'll met HIM as you're walking to work or through one of your new coworkers. It's totally your ex's loss though. JERK!

 

[MzLady78]

I feel like I just can't get it right

I could not have said it better myself- I feel the exact same way right now.

It sucks the way he went about it, but he did you a favor.

It was EXTREMELY selfish of him to pick right before your interview to decide he wanted to come clean. I think that's very indicative of the type of person he is and I'm glad you didn't waste years of your life on his sorry ***.

 

[chickory_bee]

I'm dating a co-worker...we sit in meetings and I wonder if everyone can see the looks that occassionally betray us!

We are together a LOT so most mornings when we're going to work, he'll give me a kiss in the car and drop me off (at the metro station), and then park the car and we go in different cars on the train, and then act suprised if we see each other

We don't do lunch together (well, we have 2wice in the past 6 months), and we try not to spend much time together during work hours.

It's hard coz when people say bad things about him, I want to DROPKICK them!
He's going to make me his wife (though he doesn't know this yet), so everyone will have to know soon!

 

[dlewis]

Dang JNY, that sucks. Sorry.

 

[TinyT]

I could not have said it better myself- I feel the exact same way right now.

It sucks the way he went about it, but he did you a favor.

Both of you ladies are right on the money that dating in general (not just dating a coworker) can be a bit confusing. I go through that "geez I just don't get it phase when relationships take a turn for confusion."

While finding out that a guy is being distant or funny-acting or just down right selfish doesn't seem like favor is being shown to you, it really is a blessing to see a person's true character sooner than later. It is easier to let go when too many feelings haven't been involved and too much time hasn't passed.

It's easy to say and not so easy to do, but just try to push through to better days. Congratulations on your new job opportunity. I hope for the best for you in career and life.