indian lady said "is that your hair"

[tsturnbu]

so, i was in the salon the other day getting my hair done. i noticed that an indian lady who threads eyebrows there kept looking at my hair. then as my beautician started to blow dry my hair, the indian lady asked "is that your hair". i said "yes" she then said "no, i mean do u have extensions?" i looked at her like she stupid because i thought i just answered her question. so i said "no". then she says "thats all yours?" then i said "yes, it is all mine" with a smile. then she nodded as though she was surprised.

now, i must say that i was a little offended, but also flattered. obviously she thought my hair was so long that it had to be a weave since she sees girls in the salon all the time. i think she probably thought it was a weave because i am in desperate need of perm, so my hair was looking especially coarse. the funny thing is i still dont think of my hair as really long. not until i am 100% waist lenght, will i believe that is "really long". but, i will take whatever god gives me.

 

[HoneyA]

I guess that was her way of complimenting your hair. Why couldn't she just have said, "oh your hair is really nice and long". Why do people always feel the need to ask AA women if it's all yours or if "you grew it from the roots?" I have never been so forward as to ask someone if they were wearing a weave. In the grand scheme of things, how does that impact my life? If their hair looks nice, it looks nice, end of.

 

[Diya]

I don't think she was trying to be offensive, but the fact that she (and so many other people) feel the need to constantly ask black women with long hair if it's 'all theirs' really says something.

Personally, I cannot wait for the day when a black woman with long, healthy hair invites compliments and not stares of disbelief...or better yet, it'll be so common that people won't be compelled to comment at all... just admire it and keep moving like they do with everyone else .

 

[Eisani]

I get my brows threaded by an Indian lady and one day my hair was down (rarity) and obviously I'd never been in w/my hair down because she first commented on the color, said she liked the change. I told her it's been this color since I've been coming to her, just looks darker when wet. Her white employee then asked if it was my hair and I said yes. They both were like "OMG, it's so pretty!" I told them I was growing it out, not cutting any more and I do it myself. The Indian lady was like "good, I like this better than all those braids and weaves some ladies wear ." I was thinking to myself, some ladies as in whom? I knew what she was trying to say but I just took it for what it was. Then when I was leaving she said, "I like you, you're not like some of the other ladies that come in here." She's sweet, but a lil funny actin @ times.

 

[audacious1]

so, i was in the salon the other day getting my hair done. i noticed that an indian lady who threads eyebrows there kept looking at my hair. then as my beautician started to blow dry my hair, the indian lady asked "is that your hair". i said "yes" she then said "no, i mean do u have extensions?" i looked at her like she stupid because i thought i just answered her question. so i said "no". then she says "thats all yours?" then i said "yes, it is all mine" with a smile. then she nodded as though she was surprised.

She deserved that look. I would have given it to her as well.

I think its a rude question to ask. period. To me, it's like asking someone how much they make on their job. Anyone with decency doesn't do it. I've never asked anyone that... I try hard to make my staring to decide whether or not it is less obvious

 

[audacious1]

I get my brows threaded by an Indian lady and one day my hair was down (rarity) and obviously I'd never been in w/my hair down because she first commented on the color, said she liked the change. I told her it's been this color since I've been coming to her, just looks darker when wet. Her white employee then asked if it was my hair and I said yes. They both were like "OMG, it's so pretty!" I told them I was growing it out, not cutting any more and I do it myself. The Indian lady was like "good, I like this better than all those braids and weaves some ladies wear ." I was thinking to myself, some ladies as in whom? I knew what she was trying to say but I just took it for what it was. Then when I was leaving she said, "I like you, you're not like some of the other ladies that come in here." She's sweet, but a lil funny actin @ times.

She's rude.

 

[Kurlee]

She's rude.

 

[AllAboutMoi]

I too think that was rude but take it as compliment. If you think about it, it is rare to see us with waistlength hair and we grew it. Actually, I don't even see a lot of waistlength weaves unless I turn on the t.v. I get irritated with the question too especially when I answer and they don't believe me.

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

I don't think it was rude. Before I came to this forum, when I saw black girls with anything past shoulder length (never saw much more than that) I was amazed!

And when I first came to this forum, I thought that the ladies must be mixed with sumthin'! It was a real eye opener for me.

 

[AwesomelyNappy]

i think it would have been bitter sweet for me also.

on one hand, you're upset that someone has to always question your hair. that no matter what, people would always question your hair, as if you are an acception to the unwritten rule that black women in America can't have long hair (without a weave). it seems to belittle all the hard work done to get to and retain that length. The fact that most people can't seem to accept that black women can grow long hair just as beautiful as other races, and that if she has hair longer than shoulder length that it means its a weave or she's mixed (somewhere down the line), annoys me.

on the other hand... it would be a modest compliment that someone thought that my hair was so long that it just "had to be" a weave. i know i kind of contridict myself by saying that. And the shock of amazement when they see that its really all home grown... i bet that would feel just lovely. (although i wouldn't know how that feels at the moment).

Although, i'd be upset if someone continued to challenge me on my (soon to be) long hair's realness... i think at the end of the day, that it would leave a smile on my face...

 

[Kawaii1]

I'm gonna start asking folks if their hair is weave and see how they like it.

 

[DivaRox]

I'm gonna start asking folks if their hair is weave and see how they like it.

. ..

 

[shelli4018]

It's not that serious. I've never understood why women spend so much time and $$$ growing their hair out only to become offended by the attention and questions it garners.

 

[cmw45]

I'm gonna start asking folks if their hair is weave and see how they like it.

I don't like the "touchers." I wear braid outs all the time which makes my natural hair big with lots of curls and people, I don't even know, feel like they have some right to touch it. I even got check for tracks once...no, seriously, this dude raked his hand across my scalp and then said, "I love playing in black women's hair especially when it's real." erplexed

 

[dlewis]

I have people do me like that. I think they are shock to see blacks with longer than average hair because for the most part when they see black with longer hair, it's not theirs.

 

[blue_flower]

I've gotten that question from all colors of the rainbow. One time someone asked me if my hair was a *wig*. I think people don't realize how rude it sounds to ask someone if that's their real hair. I guess it's because they're surprised that black women can have beautiful hair.

 

[the_UnPrettiest_pretty]

so, i was in the salon the other day getting my hair done. i noticed that an indian lady who threads eyebrows there kept looking at my hair. then as my beautician started to blow dry my hair, the indian lady asked "is that your hair". i said "yes" she then said "no, i mean do u have extensions?" i looked at her like she stupid because i thought i just answered her question. so i said "no". then she says "thats all yours?" then i said "yes, it is all mine" with a smile. then she nodded as though she was surprised.

now, i must say that i was a little offended, but also flattered. obviously she thought my hair was so long that it had to be a weave since she sees girls in the salon all the time. i think she probably thought it was a weave because i am in desperate need of perm, so my hair was looking especially coarse. the funny thing is i still dont think of my hair as really long. not until i am 100% waist lenght, will i believe that is "really long". but, i will take whatever god gives me.

tsturn, I thought you were WL?

I guess that was her way of complimenting your hair. Why couldn't she just have said, "oh your hair is really nice and long". Why do people always feel the need to ask AA women if it's all yours or if "you grew it from the roots?" I have never been so forward as to ask someone if they were wearing a weave. In the grand scheme of things, how does that impact my life? If their hair looks nice, it looks nice, end of.

Whenever I wear my hair down, I get asked those questions all the time. Hell, I had my hair in 2 bantu knots (one on each side) the other day and a chick at the drive-thru asked was that my real hair. I'm like "huh?" I smiled and told her yeah, but I was thinking to myself "how in the hell do you make bantu knots wearing a weave???" But oh well, I digress......I feel people are always asking those questions like "is that all your hair" or "is that your real hair" b/c most of the time, they're used to seeing AA women w/ weaves. Now I'd be a fool to say that that's all AA do wear (clearly, that's not the case) but I'm not ignorant enough to say that it doesn't happen. Most of the women I work with wear weaves and so do the girls on campus. When I used to visit the salon regularly, you would see the majority of women in there with weaves. I could count on one hand how many people actually had real hair. It's just a thing that media has put completely out there now that weaves are the thing nowadays for AA women.

 

[the_UnPrettiest_pretty]

It's not that serious. I've never understood why women spend so much time and $$$ growing their hair out only to become offended by the attention and questions it garners.

I agree Shoot, I love it when people ask me if it's all mine or not. I dyed my hair jet black about 2 years ago and I couldn't keep people out of my hair (pre LHCF or BHM). All I would hear is "oooohhhhh, it's soooo pretty and it looks soooo fake" And everytime I walked off, I'd have a huge koolaid smile on my face I went home for the 4th of July and a girl in the store asked me who did my hair. When I told her that I'd done it, get this yall, she says "you braided it too? is it sewn in or glued in?" And yall, she was so serious when she asked. I politely smiled and said "oh no honey, these aren't tracks. This is all mine." She apologized about 3 times while commenting on how pretty it was and then she walked off. I know she was embarrassed b/c I could tell it in her voice. I would have been embarrassed too, but I laughed it off and went on about my business.

 

[pistachio]

Yep. I'd actually LIKE it if asked me if it were all mine because all I'd have to do is part it with my fingers from my scalp, and let them feel stupid. Not only that, but the next time they may not be so forward when they see an AA woman with long hair because they'll think back to how stupid they felt when someone like me showed them that our hair was real.

Also, if that Indian lady asked my twice if it were mine I'd say "yes" to her slowly as if she were a nit-wit.

 

[pistachio]

I agree Shoot, I love it when people ask me if it's all mine or not. I dyed my hair jet black about 2 years ago and I couldn't keep people out of my hair (pre LHCF or BHM). All I would hear is "oooohhhhh, it's soooo pretty and it looks soooo fake" And everytime I walked off, I'd have a huge koolaid smile on my face I went home for the 4th of July and a girl in the store asked me who did my hair. When I told her that I'd done it, get this yall, she says "you braided it too? is it sewn in or glued in?" And yall, she was so serious when she asked. I politely smiled and said "oh no honey, these aren't tracks. This is all mine." She apologized about 3 times while commenting on how pretty it was and then she walked off. I know she was embarrassed b/c I could tell it in her voice. I would have been embarrassed too, but I laughed it off and went on about my business.

Although she was wrong for assuming it was good that she appologized. Some chicks would've rolled their eyes and popped their lips and stomped off followed by some "yeah rights..."

 

[MizAvalon]

I guess that was her way of complimenting your hair. Why couldn't she just have said, "oh your hair is really nice and long". Why do people always feel the need to ask AA women if it's all yours or if "you grew it from the roots?" I have never been so forward as to ask someone if they were wearing a weave. In the grand scheme of things, how does that impact my life? If their hair looks nice, it looks nice, end of.

Agreed. It will be nice when they day comes that a long haired black women isn't stared at like an animal in the zoo.

That lady was incredibly rude. Rude because she asked but extra rude because she insulted you by suggesting that you thought extensions might qualify as real hair.erplexed

 

[Kawaii1]

I agree Shoot, I love it when people ask me if it's all mine or not. I dyed my hair jet black about 2 years ago and I couldn't keep people out of my hair (pre LHCF or BHM). All I would hear is "oooohhhhh, it's soooo pretty and it looks soooo fake" And everytime I walked off, I'd have a huge koolaid smile on my face I went home for the 4th of July and a girl in the store asked me who did my hair. When I told her that I'd done it, get this yall, she says "you braided it too? is it sewn in or glued in?" And yall, she was so serious when she asked. I politely smiled and said "oh no honey, these aren't tracks. This is all mine." She apologized about 3 times while commenting on how pretty it was and then she walked off. I know she was embarrassed b/c I could tell it in her voice. I would have been embarrassed too, but I laughed it off and went on about my business.

See I like that ya'll are proving that black girls can have long locks but have any of you ever thought, "hey I wonder if they asked that white girl (indian, chinese, etc) if they are wearing a weave? Plus the media non-stops with how treandy weaves are but they only push it on black women. I never see them pushing weave on white girls. That sh*t is annoying, hell my bf has bsl hair and doesn't do any of this stuff. So it's obvious that black women can have long hair but naw our stuff gotta be fake! Makes me feel violent, I get annoyed because so many black folks have an inferiority complex about hair and skin,

 

[the_UnPrettiest_pretty]

Although she was wrong for assuming it was good that she appologized. Some chicks would've rolled their eyes and popped their lips and stomped off followed by some "yeah rights..."

Awww man, if I could count the number of times I got that oneI swear 2 girls got into an argument about my hair. We were in Florida visiting family and we went inside to McDonalds before we got to the hotel. I could tell one of the girls was looking at my hair b/c she kept staring. So she finally got up the nerve to ask was it mine and I told her yeah. She goes back to tell the other girl that it was my hair (she & a few others had been staring too) and the girl tells her that's not my real hair. She says it was weave, she could tell by my roots. So they bicker back and forth about it, and the chick asks if she can touch my hair. I looked at her crazy and gave her the okay and she blurts out as loud as she could "see, I told you that was her hair!!" Me and my mom look at each other in disbelief. The girl who was hatin' rolls her eyes and says something smart (I couldn't hear what she said) and walks to the back. We didn't even order anything, we left and ended up going to Church's instead. That was one of the craziest experiences I had ever been through.

 

[Imani]

man, i can't wait til my hair gets long enough for people to think its a weave!

My hair has never been past shoulder length all my life. But i've even gotten asked about my hair being weave and checked for tracks.erplexed
Especially when i was in high school and had a blunt right above shoulder length bob (with some swang to it). I still don't get why people think its weave when its so short??? i guess bc it looked full and even.

 

[pistachio]

Awww man, if I could count the number of times I got that oneI swear 2 girls got into an argument about my hair. We were in Florida visiting family and we went inside to McDonalds before we got to the hotel. I could tell one of the girls was looking at my hair b/c she kept staring. So she finally got up the nerve to ask was it mine and I told her yeah. She goes back to tell the other girl that it was my hair (she & a few others had been staring too) and the girl tells her that's not my real hair. She says it was weave, she could tell by my roots. So they bicker back and forth about it, and the chick asks if she can touch my hair. I looked at her crazy and gave her the okay and she blurts out as loud as she could "see, I told you that was her hair!!" Me and my mom look at each other in disbelief. The girl who was hatin' rolls her eyes and says something smart (I couldn't hear what she said) and walks to the back. We didn't even order anything, we left and ended up going to Church's instead. That was one of the craziest experiences I had ever been through.

Damn that's crazy. I'm sorry this happened to you. I wonder who was more embarrased. You, or the dumb chick that tried to say it wasn't your hair. She should've felt good and stupid when it was discoved out loud that she was wrong about your hair.

 

[Yellowflowers]

so, i was in the salon the other day getting my hair done. i noticed that an indian lady who threads eyebrows there kept looking at my hair. then as my beautician started to blow dry my hair, the indian lady asked "is that your hair". i said "yes" she then said "no, i mean do u have extensions?" i looked at her like she stupid because i thought i just answered her question. so i said "no". then she says "thats all yours?" then i said "yes, it is all mine" with a smile. then she nodded as though she was surprised.

now, i must say that i was a little offended, but also flattered. obviously she thought my hair was so long that it had to be a weave since she sees girls in the salon all the time. i think she probably thought it was a weave because i am in desperate need of perm, so my hair was looking especially coarse. the funny thing is i still dont think of my hair as really long. not until i am 100% waist lenght, will i believe that is "really long". but, i will take whatever god gives me.

I understand how uncomfortable that question might have been because I don't hear or see many AA woman asking woman of different races "is that your hair". However I can see why she was staring. Your hair is gorgeous!

 

[the_UnPrettiest_pretty]

Damn that's crazy. I'm sorry this happened to you. I wonder who was more embarrased. You, or the dumb chick that tried to say it wasn't your hair. She should've felt good and stupid when it was discoved out loud that she was wrong about your hair.

I don't think she was embarrassed (or at least it didn't show). She was just hatin' more than anything. I was embarrassed for her b/c she made herself look so stupid not only in front of me, but the others who were there. I was embarrassed for the other girls as well b/c I mean, come on now, how many chics do you know are about to stand there and argue about someone's hair being real or fake? That was just plain ghetto and ignorant.

 

[tapioca_pudding]

I don't think it was rude. Before I came to this forum, when I saw black girls with anything past shoulder length (never saw much more than that) I was amazed!

And when I first came to this forum, I thought that the ladies must be mixed with sumthin'! It was a real eye opener for me.

I agree w/ you 100%, every single part of your post. I don't see full AA women w/ hair past their shoulders very often in life. Heck, hardly ever. And if it IS APL/BSL/WL, 95% of the time there is a track sewn somewhere up in there. That's not a generalization, that's dang near a fact.

The whole point of me (as well as others) coming here was to LEARN how to take care of and grow long hair. And as many members as we have on this site, we're still the minority.

Let somebody ask me if my hair is weave........ Shooooooo... I'mma start swangin and slangin and poppin and lockin my hair all over the place like "NOPE!!!"

 

[Diya]

Let somebody ask me if my hair is weave........ Shooooooo... I'mma start swangin and slangin and poppin and lockin my hair all over the place like "NOPE!!!"

LOL!!

 

[Soliel185]

Sorry - completely off topic -- but what does "threads" eyebrows mean exactly??

To be perfectly honest, when someone complements me on my hair and it's not a race specific compliment, I'm completely taken aback. I never thought of my hair as "pretty". It was thick, and funky, and ridiculously huge, but I never thought that anyone who wasn't black would every think it was "pretty" - at least not enough to comment on. Maybe b/c I know how much work it takes and I know about all the struggles I go through w it on the daily. The only people that give me the slanty eyed side look are other black women.And to be fair, I've seen lots of women of other races with jacked up hair. Dry thin ends from too much blowdryer, frizzy puffy hair from too much dye, stiff dead hair from too much gel or hairspray..it's just that their hair seems to take it in stride a bit better than ours does. So when I see a woman with super long shiny hair Í sometimes assume it's fake regardless of race. When I was "investigating" extensions, almost every website I came across had a huge picture of Paris Hilton splashed across it, and most of the demos involved white women. And I know plently of girls with super curly, thick, unruly hair and they go through it with curling irons, flat irons, and products just like we do. SO it's our perceptions about them and ourselves that's just as much to blame as theirs.