I'm not into you...

A

Avyn

Well-Known Member
How do I tell a guy this? I saw the thread about turning a guy down initially, but I've been on 4 dates with this guy and he is really, really all in and I'm just :ohwell:. I'm on a don't say no challenge and I knew from the first time I met him that I wasn't really feeling him, but I decided to make an honest effort to get to know him, but I really don't like him at all. He's really sweet and caring, but no love connection. How do I tell him that I am not interested in taking things further? I think this is so hard because he didn't do anything wrong and he's sooooooo nice.
 
Tell him he's a really nice guy but you just don't feel any chemistry between you two. They can't MAKE you feel that.
 
Tell him he is great guy, and you enjoy his friendship. However you don't think you guys will ever be more than that.
 
Tell him youre moving to Cambodia to feed starving children for 5 years so its been real but you gotta go...

J/K....the others are right but keep in mind rejection is rejection...it will hurt no matter the delivery. Just be honest.
 
Don't tell him, "You're a nice guy, but..."

It's kind of a backhanded compliment and doesn't soften the blow.

Plus some men have been taking that to mean that women don't like nice men. When really it means that being nice is not enough. It's necessary, but not sufficient.
 
milknhonee said:
How do I tell a guy this? I saw the thread about turning a guy down initially, but I've been on 4 dates with this guy and he is really, really all in and I'm just :ohwell:. I'm on a don't say no challenge and I knew from the first time I met him that I wasn't really feeling him, but I decided to make an honest effort to get to know him, but I really don't like him at all. He's really sweet and caring, but no love connection. How do I tell him that I am not interested in taking things further? I think this is so hard because he didn't do anything wrong and he's sooooooo nice.
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I think you have enough to work with right here in your post. Honesty is best. "You are sweet and caring and was interested in getting to know you better and I am really happy that I did. However, it's best that we just keep things between us as friends". Honest. Clean. To the point. Easy.
 
ThickHair said:
Disappear..............:lachen:
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NaturalRed said:
Basically. They do this all the time.
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YEP! I came on here with the same question about 2 months ago. I went out with a guy once and spoke to him pretty often within that time span. He was really feeling me but I wasn't feeling him in that way. He was a nice guy and pretty mannerly. Well, he and I planned to go out that Friday and I text him and told him I won't be able to make it. I was just about to follow up with a call when this dude sent me a barrage of text msgs cursing me out and saying some really inappropriate things to me :blush:. Even my gf was like W T F ! So I tore him a new azzzhole. In any event, going forward. I would just do like a dude does and just disappear. They do that shyt all the time. The only reason why I was going to call this particular guy was b/c he seemed really nice and I didn't wanna just dip on him like that. It wouldn't have made a difference b/c he showed his arse anyway :perplexed. Some dudes take things very personally.
 
MissMasala5 said:
I think you have enough to work with right here in your post. Honesty is best. "You are sweet and caring and was interested in getting to know you better and I am really happy that I did. However, it's best that we just keep things between us as friends". Honest. Clean. To the point. Easy.
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I agree with this. Approach this thinking about how you want to be seen and remembered. Even if you're not into him, you don't want him thinking of you as "that rude chick who I treated well and she just up and disappeared on me." However men may act, it's always good to be classy.
 
Dont disappear and don't tell him your pregnant SMDH (save the latter for when you want an ex to leave you alone :sekret: ) BUT forreal just tell him that your just not into him. Tell him the same thing you would want to be told if he wasn't into you and you were really, really into him.
 
sky_blu said:
Dont disappear and don't tell him your pregnant SMDH (save the latter for when you want an ex to leave you alone :sekret: ) BUT forreal just tell him that your just not into him. Tell him the same thing you would want to be told if he wasn't into you and you were really, really into him.
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Exactly that is game playing not acting like an adult. Be honest and tactful.
 
OMG This happened to me too many times. I think all I've gone out with are guys I am just not really into. It's a humongous waste of time and money to keep this going. Just be real. Just tell him you don't think you are clicking with him and aren't him into him. If he doesn't get the point, just start ignoring his efforts to contact you even if he just wants to be platonic friends (which means he thinks he'll still have a chance while he's lurking as a friend). Stop wasting time and money. Like other posters, Men don't hmmm and hawww over how to break it to a woman that they really aren't into. they just peace out and bounce. Women care about others feelings too much. Sorry, this "dating game" is turning me into a heartless wench. :lol:
 
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I'm going to tell him tomorrow. I will take the advice of the posters that rec honestly and tact;) It would be so like me to just disappear...this is my usual MO for bone heads, but he's really nice...seriously like poetry, gifts, listens, thoughtful, the whole nine. He's done more in the last month than some guys do in 6. I just :/... So I will choose my words carefully. I think I would like to be his friend but this has never worked for me. IDK
 
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