"I'm not feelin' ya hair"

PrincessLinzz

PrincessLinzz

New Member
So like I have said a million times I have very wavy/not so curly anymore hair, but decided to do the 2-strand twists throughout my head and roll them at the end. When I took the braids out my result was big bodacious shiny fabulousness (bigger than my hair in the avatar). I have never worn my hair completely down unless it was straightened. Always have been nervous about what people would say.

I was a hit at work and everyone loved it. Most of my co workers are white and they said it looked goreous, beautiful and they loved it. Well 1 black co-worker said wow where did u get the wig. I responded this is my hair. Then he had the audacity to say wear it straight, not feelin' it like that.

I know I shouldnt be, but I'm very upset. All of the years of being self conscious about my big hair and wanting to wear it out and this 1 person just brought back all of these insecurities.

Just needed to vent and hear other people's "i'm not feelin ya hair" stories. :perplexed
 
Don't give that person so much power over you!

Plus, why let one person bring you down? Many other people liked it :yep: You can't please every single person no matter what you do!

Finally he would have gotten a MAJOR :rolleyes::rolleyes: from me. If it looks bad, why did he ask if it was fake? lol
 
Honestly you should take a step back and look at the situation from a scholars point of view.

What's happening with a black man that tells a black woman not to wear her hair in it's natural state? But, to wear it in a natural european fashion.

I'm sorry baby but the statement had more to do with him than you. Just shake your big fabulous fro and be thankful you are no longer in that closed minded space. Sadly your co-worker is there and in deep.

What a shame.
 
You should have replied "so how about you feeling my fist!"

Okay, not really. But dont let the stupidity of this insignificant co-worker dampen your spirits or change your opinion of yourself (or your hair).
 
1. Is he cute enough that you want to date him?
2. Does he pay your bills?

If these answers are no, then what he thinks is pretty worthless to you.
 
I'm blown away, I just can't understand how you can not be feeling big, beautiful, "wavy not so curly" gorgeous hair :lovedrool::love:. Whats wrong with that guy!:giggle:

Its just his opinion, who is he anyway....
 
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See here's how it would have played out w/me:

Coworker- "I'm not feelin' ya hair"
Me- "I'm not feelin' ya face, now get out of mine"
Coworker- :blush:

The end of that


I have gotten alot of ignorant comments. People don't expect a response and usually just look shocked when I say something as equally ignorant back. Sometimes I take the high road but people need to learn not to just approach me any kind of way . The comments don't bother me because I know I look good to me and that's all that matters.
 
OP,

I can totally relate.

When I first went natural, I had days like this. Presently, it still upset me a little knowing that the majority of complements back then came from white people, while the majority of ignorant/rude comments came from black people.

I think I'm even more apt to say something to someone if they were to cross me about my hair these days. I'm not saying I would be rude about it, but some of that frustration I had back in the day would surely surface if someone were to say to me what that dude said to you.

Your hair is gorgeous. Forget about him. Like another said, what he said has nothing to do with you, really.
 
I've had people tell me that they don't like the way I'm wearing my hair at work. I say "I don't care" and give them a look like they're the fool for even voicing how they feel about my hair.

Really, if I didn't ask, I don't need to hear the negativity. Your hair is beautiful...you know it is, so why listen to that fool?
 
My grandmother told me she didn't like my hair when I wore it curly. I basically told her that was just too bad.

If you liked it, that's great. Everyone else (but the guy) liked it too, so even better. He's just some goofy rando and his opinion doesn't matter.
 
girl tell ole boy----gthohwtbs

i remember when i was working at that hiphop mag--dude was like idl your hair like that you should wear it such and such---i was like you answer the phones here--thats yo job---wtf r u worried about how im rocking my hair i was natural at the time--ugh
 
forget him. if you liked it thats all that matters. don't take his opinion as if its more important than yours. he can kick rocks.
 
People do sometimes give their unsolicited opinion at the worst times. I had one Spanish, male coworker tell me about a year ago that he did not like my hair. I had taken my weave out and had my own hair in a braid out.

I told him "Sorry, it grows out of my head this way". He shut up after that.
 
I just want to thank all of you lovely ladies of LHC. I really needed to hear this, I have always had the fear of wearing my hair down in its natural wavy state. I always wore buns and ponytails. I'm so glad I joined this site.

Thanks so much!
 
PrincessLinzz,

I know how difficult it can be to repsond when you are sensitive and someone has opened their big loud mouth to instruct you on YOUR own damn appearance.

I have a story related to the subject of men's unsolicited comments about my apperance. It demonstrates that the quickest thing that shuts down haters is calling them out on it directly and firmly, right then and there. Be as brazen and bold as they, but never rude or profane (because you are better than that).

I was traveling overseas in a country where slimness is very prized. My plump friend and I were being shown around by a flashy local fellow who thought himself God's gift to humanity.

"You are pretty," he said to us out of the blue, "but have you considered going on a diet to lose weight? It would really improve your looks."

I stopped walking up the stairs and turned to face him.

I stared penetratingly into his eyes, disabling him from looking away, and intoned in a clear, loud, carrying voice that proved he had no power to shame me: "What's the matter? Don't you like FAT PEOPLE? Do we disturb you?"

His face flooded with blushes and all his fine bravado dropped. He began stammering apologies... "No, I didn't mean anything by it, I just..."

Tell me why that fool followed me around for the next few days of our trip, a completely cowed and changed man, fumbling over himself to open doors for me, fetch me things, etc.

You must turn their words against them and make THEM ashamed of their attempts to shame you.

*This only works on people with a sliver of a conscience.
 
YankeeCandle said:
PrincessLinzz,


You must turn their words against them and make THEM ashamed of their attempts to shame you.

*This only works on people with a sliver of a conscience.
Click to expand...

He must have felt so stupid, lol. My mother gave me advice VERY similar to yours just now! You're absolutely right, all of you are. Thank you for your story.
 
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