I'm in a Marriage Slump

MissScarlett said:
PH, I've been married 8 years, 9 this year :whyme: :nono: It's tough, I know. Marriage, as all relationships are, are cyclic, they go through changes.

There have been times when I looked at dh like WTH did I marry you and then others like, OMG I :love: you to death. I think any healthy and good marriage has to have its ups and downs.

When I hear a couple has this wonderful happy marriage all the time, I think, ok whatever:rolleyes:

Also, for me, if I'm not feeling dh mentally, if there are some emotional or mental issues there, then I surely can't connect with him sexually. Here I thought I had the best sex in the world with dh and I once almost had an affair, but not for sex and but I couldn't see that at the time and learn to WORK through those cyclic changes that come in a marriage.

Hang in there Ma!
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Thank you for sharing that. You and I got married around the same year. I got married in September of '99.

ITA with your entire post. I feel the same way you do when people act like they are on Cloud-9 all the time :rolleyes:.

I am going to talk to DH tonight about how I've been feeling. Thanks again!
 
PrettyHaitian said:
Thanks so much ladies. I really do need to do some soul searching and get to the bottom of this before it gets worse. To be honest, any of the issues I have are not with him. Just stuff about my parents, or mistakes that I've made. That's why this is so frustrating because I just think he is on the short end of the stick.

Can I go to my regular doctor with this issue? Or should I just look for a therapist?
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I would recommend a therapist over your regular doctor. Like Miss Scarlett said every relationship has it's ups and downs, but it really depends on how you handle everything. The key thing here is that you have to handle it and commit to a positive outcome.

I think the fact that you're addressing this before anything erupts is the best approach. Girl, you're gonna be fine, I can already tell...
 
Everything will work out PH!! :yep: You are being proactive about the situation and taking steps to figure out what is going on.
 
After 14 years i don't jump him all the time either. I do notice that sometimes a week before my cycle i do not have the desire to make love. It is this way afterwards also. This happens every few cycles or so.
 
MissScarlett said:
PH, I've been married 8 years, 9 this year :whyme: :nono: It's tough, I know. Marriage, as all relationships are, are cyclic, they go through changes.

There have been times when I looked at dh like WTH did I marry you and then others like, OMG I :love: you to death. I think any healthy and good marriage has to have its ups and downs.

When I hear a couple has this wonderful happy marriage all the time, I think, ok whatever:rolleyes:

Also, for me, if I'm not feeling dh mentally, if there are some emotional or mental issues there, then I surely can't connect with him sexually. Here I thought I had the best sex in the world with dh and I once almost had an affair, but not for sex and but I couldn't see that at the time and learn to WORK through those cyclic changes that come in a marriage.

Hang in there Ma!
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Amen to this entire post, especially the bolded. I will have been married for 11 years in April and this is so true. I think that you are never truly married until the day you realize you will not be in love every single day.

Try to shake it up a little, go on special dates, do whatever you have to do...if you do, it will pass, I promise you. :rosebud:
 
Hey girly :hug3:
I'm not married now, but observing other married couples, it sounds normal to me actually. Maybe ya'll could plan a vacation or something? Nothing too tiring though.
 
PatTodd said:
Amen to this entire post, especially the bolded. I will have been married for 11 years in April and this is so true. I think that you are never truly married until the day you realize you will not be in love every single day.

Try to shake it up a little, go on special dates, do whatever you have to do...if you do, it will pass, I promise you. :rosebud:
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Yes it goes away, and it will come again. Now when I see it coming, I push it away and try to focus on the true meaning of marriage, my family (my boys) WHY I married dh and how much family means to me.

Oh and you think it gets rough now, add a baby or two:ohwell:Yikers, jikers...but yes its all good in the end.

I try to find little ways to connect with dh in small but significant ways. We have very hectic schedules. I make him take me out once a week for drinks, sans children. We take mini-getaways, every 3 months or so, little weekend trips will help you re-connect.

Listen, we went to a 3day trip in November to the mountains, ALL the way up the mountain, I thought this man is on my last nerve ,:whyme: :wallbash: I complained ALL the way up there and nitpicked him about just about evertying. I was like "shoot I dont even want to be here" We got there and you know what? Dh brought Gone with the Wind with him. It's my favorite movie (not his) and then one when we were dating he said he didnt like but if I liked it, he did. Then I thought again...awww that is why I fell in :love: You gotta go back to the good stuff....
 
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We do, do the little things. We got out at least once/twice a week. Which is why I think it's me. I told DH I need to talk to him. I will share my feelings and schedule some sort of therapy session. Thanks for sharing ladies.
 
PH I have no real advice but cherish all the attention and affection your DH gives you.
DH comes from a family that isn't affectionate at all and currently it makes things very hard for me b/c I'm the complete opposite.
 
I'm not married, but I heard exercise is a great way to lift the spirits and get the blood flowing/circulating, if ya know what I mean:lol:
 
I've been married for almost 6 years and sometimes find myself bored. My husband is great, he just sometimes feels like a roommate to me. This is a part of marriage. I've been going out more and hanging out with the girls to create some space between us, so that I can miss him. Going out and being romantic is important too. I'm sure this is just a stage it will certainly come and go in marriage. Not to mention having sex with the same person over and over and over again, can be well boring after a while no matter how great the sex is eventually you know his next move before he does it, yes you'll still get yours (HOPEFULLY) but the thrill of something new is just not there anymore. I think this is why men cheat often, for us it take a few years before we really notice these things. You'll be fine, this is a part of marriage. You must work to keep it hot. Dance for him, or get some really sexy lingerie, role play like your just meeting?
 
not married but like the advice given in this post. i have to learn to communicate with my man (ex i suppose now). that was the downfall of our relation.

good luck. you are on the right track.
 
MzRhonda said:
Thanks, I will be ordering.

I was reading the directions, how exactly are you using it? Daily? After your cycle? or just whenever? :grin: This may be silly but where are you rubbing it?:perplexed
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I use it after I ovulate. I use it from about Day 15 to about Day 25. I rub it on any thin skinned areas such as my: breasts, necks, sole of my feet, palms, top of my hainds, inner thighs, back of my kneecaps, et cetera.

It if very important to switch the sites. If you rub it on your neck in the morning, put it on your inner thighs in the evening. Also, make sure your skin is clean. I use mine right out of the shower.

Thanks ladies for the advice. I do go out more with my girls and find that I am missing him more. I stopped being a rebel and started taking progesterone again. Now my libido is back :grin:
 
PrettyHaitian said:
I use it after I ovulate. I use it from about Day 15 to about Day 25. I rub it on any thin skinned areas such as my: breasts, necks, sole of my feet, palms, top of my hainds, inner thighs, back of my kneecaps, et cetera.

It if very important to switch the sites. If you rub it on your neck in the morning, put it on your inner thighs in the evening. Also, make sure your skin is clean. I use mine right out of the shower.

Thanks ladies for the advice. I do go out more with my girls and find that I am missing him more. I stopped being a rebel and started taking progesterone again. Now my libido is back :grin:
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Okey dokey...I'll be reporting back once I get it and I use it.:blush:
 
MzRhonda said:
Okey dokey...I'll be reporting back once I get it and I use it.:blush:
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You'll like it. I stopped using it out of rebellion. I was noticing all the good effects I was having but grew resentful of having to use it. I've been on it since June off and on. I am sure if I used to more often, the effects would have stuck around.

Please report back :grin:
 
PrettyHaitian said:
I use it after I ovulate. I use it from about Day 15 to about Day 25. I rub it on any thin skinned areas such as my: breasts, necks, sole of my feet, palms, top of my hainds, inner thighs, back of my kneecaps, et cetera.

It if very important to switch the sites. If you rub it on your neck in the morning, put it on your inner thighs in the evening. Also, make sure your skin is clean. I use mine right out of the shower.

Thanks ladies for the advice. I do go out more with my girls and find that I am missing him more. I stopped being a rebel and started taking progesterone again. Now my libido is back :grin:
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Wow. Good for you then! I hope things are looking better for you. :yep: I'll be there one day am trying to soak this whole thread up.

(Progestertone) It doesn't work for me. I figured, if it didn't work for me, then my hormones are okay and it's more of a mental thing.

I used progesterone cream like you did, (after ovulation) but it was for ttc. No other benefits for me. :sad:
 
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