I'm Getting a Divorce

Great! One more thing to watch out for when I'm in New York;)

Things have a way of working out for the best, even though we dont see it that way at the time. :rosebud:


-A
 
Awww D, I'm sorry. I know how much you wanted to reconcile. :( I'm glad that you are able to see the positive aspects of this whole experience.

LMAO at you driving! So, you drove down the wrong street, almost backed up into pedestrians, AND pissed off a cop? Then you had the nerve to take a PICTURE WHILE YOU WERE DRIVING? :lachen: :lachen:
 
HI D',

I know you said you are ready to move out of this place you are in right now, see your divorce as necessary step to do that. That is how I am choosing to look at mine!
 
I am really sorry to hear about your divorce. Been there, done that. It hurts tremendously. But this too, shall pass. Believe me. Hugs to you! :Rose:
 
DSylla said:
I had another talk with my estranged husband and it looks like it's really going to happen. He has made up his mind and doesn't even want to talk about reconciliation. I'm going to the courthouse this week to get the paperwork, etc.

It will be a clean divorce, meaning, we have no kids or property therfore, there's nothing to argue about.

He's still in my life as a "friend". He helps me out. We're still civil.

Bummer. I my heart breaks because I was the cause of this heartache.

But... I am grateful that I had the opportunity to learn about myself while being with my husband. That relationship forced me to look at the ugly things about myself i needed to change. But i must confess, i'm not perfect, in fact, i'm a little immature and I have a whole lot more to work on. But, i've come a loooongggg way and i am thankful for that.

I could have been in the dark wallowing and feeling angry, rejected, pitiful and holding someone emotionally hostage. That's what I did... That was the old me. I have broke away from this.

Now, if I can only learn to allow myself to be totally happy. I have to get it in my head that it's ok and believe that i DESERVE to be happy. that happiness isn't just for other people - that it's for me too.

a day at a time...

I do feel hopeful though.

Positive news:

I'm 40 years old and I FINALLY rented a car this weeked :-) It was soo much fun driving. ah man! i really want to buy one now.

I did have a few "mishaps" lol

1.) drove down the wrong street

2.) got cocky and was listening to music pretty loud. in fact, it was a rap song and i heard sirens, but i thought the sirens was apart of the song so i kept driving along. hahaha. i looked in the rearview mirrow and this cop was RIGHT behind me. then he pulled up right beside me as we were both driving! He looked like he was cursing me out telling me to move out the way. lol. He then drove past me onto wherever he was going.

3.) i almost ran a red light, realized it but i stopped right in the intersection. I looked behind me and began backing up but there were people already crossing behind me. OOOPPS!! I could have hit someone.

I have the bug now. I must get a car

Sorry for the rambling but i had to lighten the mood.

this is me navigating my way through the mean, dangerous, crazy yellow cab driving streets of NYC :lol:
ATT00001-vi.jpg



~DSylla
Click to expand...


Your struggle today may be a positive in helping u deal in the future.
I know exactly how you feel.
((((HUGS)))))))
 
DAYUM, Dee...I am sorry that you hat to go thru this...like someone else said..you most certainly deserve happiness, and i had no idea you were 40...you look fantastic! I WILL BE THINKING OF YOU...and sending you out some positive vibes...
O yeah..were you driving thr midtown?...looks like a parking lot..
 
Awww, Hugs to you Dsylla,

That D word is a ***** esp when you are the cause. But you handled it well, took responsiblity and made it right. Your ex-can only respect you for that. :) You've already proven yourself if you ask me..driving the mean streets of NYC ain't no joke!:eek: I was scare just riding in a cab there a number of years ago-I will never forget that!! :lol:
You now know thyself-that is an impowering thing. When you know thyself-no one can make you feel guilty for their faults.;)
 
Hey D, I am so sorry to hear about the divorce. But your outlook and reflection on this experience is so positive! You have grown up emotionally and you have learned about yourself! You are in charge of your future happinesss and believe that it will happen. You so deserve happiness and it is coming. Get yourself that car and enjoy yourself. You are a beautiful woman, thank you for sharing and getting it off your chest.:kiss:
 
(((hugs)))! I'm sorry this is happening in your life! I pray that you will get through this quickly and that you will heal and move on to much better things.
 
(((HUGS)))

You have such a positive outlook on life. You will come through this and be even stronger for it.


So, what kinda car are you gonna buy? You know you need one now that the driving bug has you! Get a convertible...:grin:
 
awwwwwwwwwwwww D! You're a wonderful person and a special friend. Best of luck and give me a ride when you see me walking those stinky NYC streets, lol
 
Sorry to hear about the divorce, but as someone said earlier, it's a new beginning.

On another note, thanks for being the newest crazy driver in NY; we really needed it. :cool: :lol:
 
(((dsyll))) Gal I'm sorry the reconcilation is not going to happen.. but at least you're stronger and a better person from the experience.
 
thank you all for your support. I really appreciate and it's made me smile :)

I have been separated for 3 years. I held onto a shred of hope for 3 years that we would get back together. Surely he sees that I have changed. How could he not take me back??

I know that the next partner God blesses me with, i will not take that man for granted.

I now realize that the people that God places in your life are there to help you understand YOU. if that makes sense... I brought my anger, my daddy issues and my momma issues into my relationship. It was always about me and what *I* wanted. I may have even emasculated (sp) him at times... I immaturely thought it was my husband's job to make me happy. :ohwell: Never willing to own that my happiness was my own business.

And he was always patient with me, yet I pushed and PUSHED.

Now i know better.

I know i'll make a much better wife because now, I know. This is what pains me so much. I could be the wife he wanted. But, it's too late.

I'm going to cry and feel bad for a little while, then I'm moving on.

I'm sad, but hopeful...

Thank God I have a few days off this week starting Wednesday. Yes, thank God for the small things.

:)
 
I left out another mishap.

I went grocery shopping and i had a LOT of bags. Big jugs of water, cat litter, cat food, all heavy stuff. So, my friend calls and he wants to come check out my ride. Hee!

He met me in the parking lot and I asked him to come back to my house to give me a hand carrying my groceries upstairs.

I followed him back to my place and I got kinda frustrated looking for a place to park, so I asked him if he would park the car for me. He decided to double park the car right in front of my building and then we carried the groceries upstairs.

He left and I went downstairs to move the car - but wait. I turned on the car - i'm pressing brakes and then the gas, the car feels "heavy". I'm thinking "what the heck is wrong with this car? ". I'm really worried now and my first thought was "how much is this going to cost me". shoot! It was making weird noises too.

I called Enterprise roadside assistance who agreed to come tow the car.

I'm really annoyed at this point. It's saturday and I was really disappointed that I may not be able to enjoy the car.

As i'm sitting there waiting for roadside assistance to come, i picked up the car manual out of boredom. Opened the book and i happened to flip right to the "Emergency Brake" page. :lol:

I looked down at this bar-like thing I soon discovered was my emergency brake and had a lightbulb moment.

My friend had put on the Emergency brakes. :(:look::lol:

grrrrrrrrrr

at least my car wasn't "broke"

I called Enterprise back and cancelled the towing. I was embarrased :Blush2:
 
*hugs*

Im sorry Dsylla. :( I know how much you still care for him, and i know this is not an easy thing to do. I hope you are able to find peace of mind from this.
 
KiniKakes said:
*hugs*

Im sorry Dsylla. :( I know how much you still care for him, and i know this is not an easy thing to do. I hope you are able to find peace of mind from this.
Click to expand...
you know what, after responding in the "the one question thread" i thought "hmmm, let me give him a call".

It's been on my mind for a while anyway. I would periodially ask him what his plans where and he'd reply that he was still divorcing me, but nothing happened.

That waiting gave me hope.

Well, when I asked him again yesterday what his plans were, he impatiently told me again he was divorcing me. I was hoping that his reply would be different :ohwell:

That was the wakeup call i needed.

You were sorta the catalyst. and I needed it. seriously!

I'm doing what needs to be done. I'm at peace with that.

I can't explain it, I feel sad yet excited at the same time. like something's about to happen...

Something good is in store for me and i can feel it.

:)

ETA - Thank you Kini. Your question awakened something in me.
 
Last edited:
DSylla said:
I left out another mishap.

I went grocery shopping and i had a LOT of bags. Big jugs of water, cat litter, cat food, all heavy stuff. So, my friend calls and he wants to come check out my ride. Hee!

He met me in the parking lot and I asked him to come back to my house to give me a hand carrying my groceries upstairs.

I followed him back to my place and I got kinda frustrated looking for a place to park, so I asked him if he would park the car for me. He decided to double park the car right in front of my building and then we carried the groceries upstairs.

He left and I went downstairs to move the car - but wait. I turned on the car - i'm pressing brakes and then the gas, the car feels "heavy". I'm thinking "what the heck is wrong with this car? ". I'm really worried now and my first thought was "how much is this going to cost me". shoot! It was making weird noises too.

I called Enterprise roadside assistance who agreed to come tow the car.

I'm really annoyed at this point. It's saturday and I was really disappointed that I may not be able to enjoy the car.

As i'm sitting there waiting for roadside assistance to come, i picked up the car manual out of boredom. Opened the book and i happened to flip right to the "Emergency Brake" page. :lol:

I looked down at this bar-like thing I soon discovered was my emergency brake and had a lightbulb moment.

My friend had put on the Emergency brakes. :(:look::lol:

grrrrrrrrrr

at least my car wasn't "broke"

I called Enterprise back and cancelled the towing. I was embarrased :Blush2:
Click to expand...


LOL!! atleast you're learning.... when I first started driving, I actually DROVE a while w/ the thing on wondering what was wrong w/ the car.:grin:
 
Sweetie, I understand you've made mistakes. You've been pinning for this guy for 3 years and you've gone through self-transformation. You've done your part in your redemption.

He chooses to move on. Please move on too. What's done is done. Even if you're still "friends" don't allow backward glances to keep you from the next great opportunities that are sure to come your way. You're turning a new leaf, you're wiser, and more knowledgeable. You're gorgeous. You'll do great!!!! :up:
 
Have you told him that you plan to go to the courthouse this week to start the paperwork? That may be an eye opening moment for him and will let you know weather he really wants this divorce or not.
 
Lisa23 said:
Have you told him that you plan to go to the courthouse this week to start the paperwork? That may be an eye opening moment for him and will let you know weather he really wants this divorce or not.
Click to expand...

yeah, i told him. My gf says the same things you're saying. but, i'm not banking on that.

i'm really glad that i have you all to go through this with. Serioulsy! I did a lot of growing right here on this board.

You all are like the sisters and cousins I never had.

Thanks :Rose:
 
Hey D

I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to send you some (((hugs))) and continue to encourage you, sister.
 
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