If you're not married; you're single????

Cinda2503

Cinda2503

New Member
I heard this on a relationship talk radio program I listen to.

A girl called up and said she was 25 and single. Then later on in the conversation she said me and my boyfriend are going to my parents house for Thanksgiving. The DJ was like, "I thought you were single. You have a boyfriend?" The caller said, "well, I'm not married so I'm single." Another male caller, called up and agreed with the previous caller."

The DJ's question was then, "What happened to being in a committed relationship? Being single and having a boyfriend are two different things."

Then quite a few callers agreed with the people who said, "if you're not married; you're single."

I have never heard of this logic before. I guess technically, it's true. :ohwell:

What say you?
 
why couldn't she just say I am not married but I have a boyfriend? Technically you are single even in a committed relationship if you are not married.
 
Technically, I agree with her, the caller is not married. When checking off boxes, it would be considered single.

But what about the acknowledgement of her current relationship?

Here's a scenario:

You're in a committed relationship for 2 years. A guy walks up to you and ask you are single. Would you say yes? If yes, why not say, I'm in a relationship or I'm dating someone.

Where's the bridge from single to married?

In my mind, when you say single, you are available to date other people?

Emtionally, are you really single if you are in a committed relationship?
 
Cinda2503 said:
Technically, I agree with her, the caller is not married. When checking off boxes, it would be considered single.

But what about the acknowledgement of her current relationship?

Here's a scenario:

You're in a committed relationship for 2 years. A guy walks up to you and ask you are single. Would you say yes? If yes, why not say, I'm in a relationship or I'm dating someone.

Where's the bridge from single to married?

In my mind, when you say single, you are available to date other people?

Emtionally, are you really single if you are in a committed relationship?
Click to expand...


If someone asked me of course I would say I am in a committed relationship. But in reality single means never married.
 
^^^In the situation you mentioned, I'd just tell him that I had a boyfriend.

I don't necessarily think it has to be complicated... for me, if I'm in a relationship, then no, I'm not free to date others (nor is he), but if things go wrong, there are no legal ties holding us together... either of us could walk at either time.

The way I think of it is that the "single"-but-in-a-relationship period is the bridge to marriage. By all definitions, I'd be single because I wasn't married, but because I'm in a relationship that could lead to marriage, then I'm not necessarily available either.
 
I guess I have another question to add on my list when I meet someone.

"Are you single?" and "Are you in a relationship?"
 
I've never thought about it that way but it is a very good state of mind to maintain as fickle as people's dating relationships can be. I only end up dating (really being courted by) men that I could see myself marrying anyway- otherwise like some posters have said what's the point of dating (besides sex, something to gain from it, just to have someone around, etc. :rolleyes:) if you have no intentions of being with this person long term and hopefully in marriage?

I think a lot of women would be better off if they had that mindset all the way up until marriage. Like others have said it doesn't have to be complicated and you can still be in a committed relationship- but if you remember that you aren't trying to say "I do" women might not put up with as much BS as they do in a lot of dating relationships (myself included :yep:)
 
Yep. :yep:

I was at a bday party week before last and the DJ was like "All the single ladies make some noise!!!" So I made some noise :look:, my beau wasn't too pleased with that. I was like "Am I not unmarried???!! Exactly! I'm single!" :giggle:

Ain't no rangs on these fangas!
 
Everything Zen said:
I've never thought about it that way but it is a very good state of mind to maintain as fickle as people's dating relationships can be. I only end up dating (really being courted by) men that I could see myself marrying anyway- otherwise like some posters have said what's the point of dating (besides sex, something to gain from it, just to have someone around, etc. :rolleyes:) if you have no intentions of being with this person long term and hopefully in marriage?

I think a lot of women would be better off if they had that mindset all the way up until marriage. Like others have said it doesn't have to be complicated and you can still be in a committed relationship- but if you remember that you aren't trying to say "I do" women might not put up with as much BS as they do in a lot of dating relationships (myself included :yep:)
Click to expand...




I never heard of "single" being used in that way before and I never thought about it in those terms before but know that I have I like it.:yep:

I do, however,think it is a tad bit disrespectful to the relationship that you are in (if you are in one) but I would say "single-and currently dating" or "single and in a relationship." something to that effect.
 
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Cinda2503 said:
I never heard of "single" being used in that way before and I never thought about it in those terms before but know that I have I like it.:yep:

I do, however,think it is a tad bit disrespectful to the relationship that you are in (if you are in one) but I would say "single-and currently dating" or "single and in a relationship." something to that effect.
Click to expand...

Absolutely- I think you can say you have a SO or how you said it or however you want to label it but it's the mentality that is most important. Not a wandering eye per se but until dude gets serious and you two are engaged I say keep the idea of being single mentally in the back of your head. I guess I get tired of seeing women holding onto some BOGUS relationships with worthless men just for the sake of having "someone". :perplexed
 
Cinda2503 said:
Technically, I agree with her, the caller is not married. When checking off boxes, it would be considered single.

But what about the acknowledgement of her current relationship?

Here's a scenario:

You're in a committed relationship for 2 years. A guy walks up to you and ask you are single. Would you say yes? If yes, why not say, I'm in a relationship or I'm dating someone.

Where's the bridge from single to married?

In my mind, when you say single, you are available to date other people?

Emtionally, are you really single if you are in a committed relationship?
Click to expand...

I think "single" men with girlfriends will use this line, well the ones that are looking to cat around.

It also explains why some women and men with go after a person who clearly has a SO, using the well they're not "married" line.
 
Cinda2503 said:
I guess I have another question to add on my list when I meet someone.

"Are you single?" and "Are you in a relationship?"
Click to expand...

And sometimes even when you ask, they still just lie.

My ex-fiance told me "No" when I asked him "Do you have a girlfriend?" when first met, when really he should have said "Yes".

Now I ask the question more than once, in case they get amnesia.
 
Cinda2503 said:
I heard this on a relationship talk radio program I listen to.

A girl called up and said she was 25 and single. Then later on in the conversation she said me and my boyfriend are going to my parents house for Thanksgiving. The DJ was like, "I thought you were single. You have a boyfriend?" The caller said, "well, I'm not married so I'm single." Another male caller, called up and agreed with the previous caller."

The DJ's question was then, "What happened to being in a committed relationship? Being single and having a boyfriend are two different things."

Then quite a few callers agreed with the people who said, "if you're not married; you're single."

I have never heard of this logic before. I guess technically, it's true. :ohwell:

What say you?
Click to expand...

Single and married are 100% objective terms. You hear them, you know what they mean.

What exactly is dating - are you actively seeing someone? Are you "single" but looking and available? Are you "playing the field"? Are you "single" and hoping/praying? Or are you out the game altogether?

I think the point is you need to ask DIRECT questions to get direct answers. Because "dating" is subjective, you can't just ask someone "are you single or married?"...because there is a lot of in between.

And really, I find this no surprise. Women crave consistency and monogamy - men do not. SO many women operate in relationships based on assumptions: he takes me out to dinner + he's introduced me to his family + we have sex = I am in a relationship. NO! Until you confirm that status with your "man", you can't assume that he's operating under the same premises.

So yea, I'm going to say I agree with the caller...
 
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Not married is single in my book, period. I usually qualify my statement and ask them to qualify theirs.
 
Determined22 said:
And sometimes even when you ask, they still just lie.

My ex-fiance told me "No" when I asked him "Do you have a girlfriend?" when first met, when really he should have said "Yes".

Now I ask the question more than once, in case they get amnesia.
Click to expand...

John Legend's Greenlight:

Do you have a girlfriend?
Well technically No;
If you'll be my girlfriend,
Then I'll make it So.
You'll be my only true lover.
No competition, no other
Baby it's just, the thrill of the chase
I've got a feeling I'm winning this race...
Baby I'm in much closer
I just need permission so...
 
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tinkat said:
Yep I agree....there was a thread about this a while back.
Click to expand...

Yup I started that thread. I still consider myself single even though I'm in a relationship. If someone asks I say I have a bf but legally yes I am single.
 
frankie said:
Yep. :yep:

I was at a bday party week before last and the DJ was like "All the single ladies make some noise!!!" So I made some noise :look:, my beau wasn't too pleased with that. I was like "Am I not unmarried???!! Exactly! I'm single!" :giggle:

Ain't no rangs on these fangas!
Click to expand...

:grin::grin::grin: I agree.
 
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