if you have your own place, how often can your SO stay over

[fattyfatfat]

ladies, if you have your own place, how often can/does your SO stay over? does he have a key? if you leave for work can he stay or does he have to go? thanks.

 

[QUINN]

ladies, if you have your own place, how often can/does your SO stay over? does he have a key? if you leave for work can he stay or does he have to go? thanks.

DF stays over two to three times a week.
Yes, he has a key, even before we were engaged. He helped out w/ the kiddies while I was working and he had days off.
Yes, he can stay when I'm not at home. He usually doesn't, we are the same way, I don't like to be in ANYONE'S house when they are not at home, even my Momma's. I know, strange, but that's just me (us).

 

[Amour]

he can stay over whenever he likes; my home is his home, his home is mine

He now has a key as he helps fed Tia (my dog - read: baby ) when I am at work.

When I go to work he can stay, no problems there

 

[FlowerHair]

My SO has his own set of keys to my place and he can come over whenever he likes, whether I'm there or not.

I don't care for his place because it's rather uncomfortable compared to mine.

Normally he comes over 2-3 times a week.

 

[jaiku]

I own my own place. He doesn't.
He doesn't have a key. He can spend the night on the week ends and maybe once during the week. If I leave to go to work he can stay until its time for him to go to work.

I don't let him get too comfortable in my place. He kknows my reasoning and until we get married thats how its going to be.

 

[londontresses]

I own my own place. He doesn't.
He doesn't have a key. He can spend the night on the week ends and maybe once during the week. If I leave to go to work he can stay until its time for him to go to work.

I don't let him get too comfortable in my place. He kknows my reasoning and until we get married thats how its going to be.

I kinda feel the same way. I think living together and him staying at mine, with his washcloth and toothbrush there, coming and going when he pleases, are two different things.

For those that have your SO round more than twice a week, does he contribute to any bills of any sort?

 

[SpiritJunkie]

i look forward to folks response on londontresse post.

i own my place as well and my recent ex came over perhaps 3 x's a week and stayed over most weekends. he didn't contribute.

 

[fattyfatfat]

bumping my thread because I would like more responses

for the ladies that are comfortable with their SO staying over many times during the week, and/or he has a key....how long did it take for you to be comfortable with this?

 

[QUINN]

I kinda feel the same way. I think living together and him staying at mine, with his washcloth and toothbrush there, coming and going when he pleases, are two different things.

For those that have your SO round more than twice a week, does he contribute to any bills of any sort?

Yes, feeding the kids (my biggest bill), gas (we all know the price of gas) and he pays for most things when we are together, which frees up my resources.

It didn't take me very long to give him a key. He's my cousin's best friend of 11 years.

 

[FlowerHair]

I kinda feel the same way. I think living together and him staying at mine, with his washcloth and toothbrush there, coming and going when he pleases, are two different things.

For those that have your SO round more than twice a week, does he contribute to any bills of any sort?

No, he doesn't contribute to any bills, but buys food and stuff when he comes over. Why would he pay bills for a place where he doesn't live? I wouldn't pay any bills if I stayed at his place a couple of times a week...

 

[Amour]

No, he doesn't contribute to any bills, but buys food and stuff when he comes over. Why would he pay bills for a place where he doesn't live? I wouldn't pay any bills if I stayed at his place a couple of times a week...

Exactly. My SO doesn't contribute to any bills, I wouldn't ask or want him to do. Those who asked would you expect your bf to contribute to the bills/rent/ mortgage if he stayed over once in a while? If so why?

 

[imstush]

my SO stays over a couple of times a week, and I stay over his place the remainder. He buys food and juice when he comes over, etc. I don't expect him to pay bills or help out with the rent because he has his own place. I wouldn't make this a habit if I was casually dating or didn't think he is the one. Oh and we leave together in the mornings because we both have jobs. On the weekends when I go to my class I sometimes leave him, and vice versa if he has something to do on the weekends he will leave me at his place.

 

[Amour]

my SO stays over a couple of times a week, and I stay over his place the remainder. He buys food and juice when he comes over, etc. I don't expect him to pay bills or help out with the rent because he has his own place. I wouldn't make this a habit if I was casually dating or didn't think he is the one. Oh and we leave together in the mornings because we both have jobs. On the weekends when I go to my class I sometimes leave him, and vice versa if he has something to do on the weekends he will leave me at his place.

This is exactly us.

 

[ThickHair]

My recent ex, he stayed once a week at my place and I stayed once a week at his. He didn't have a key to my place and vice versa. He had to leave my place when I left and he left me a few times at his place but I would rather not stay if he wasn't there.

 

[gabulldawg]

Me and my SO stay together pretty much every night. I prefer to stay with him because he just bought a new house and he has digital cable with Tivo. I live in a measly two bedroom apartment - with no cable. Neither one of us have the keys to each others' places. We both have lost our key privileges for various reasons. erplexed I contribute to his bills whenever I can and he does the same, even though we stay at his place most of the time. But he makes a lot more money than me, so he doesn't bother me too much about paying any of his bills/mortgage, etc. I usually contribute with cleaning or buying groceries. I think if it wasn't for me there would be no food in his house! I usually go to work later than him, so it's not a problem for me to stay at his house after he leaves for work.

 

[Everything Zen]

MisterMan gave me a key to his place like after 2 months of dating. I don't have my own place yet (I will come this June!!!) I have a whole drawer of clothes at his place and I use his free storage space. I buy groceries a lot but he doesn't expect me to. I also try to contribute by cleaning. His home is my home and he doesn't ask me to pay any bills.

 

[Poohbear]

I don't have a significant other, but if I did, he could only visit. He would not be staying over and he would not have a key to my place. The only way he would be able to stay all night and have a key is if we are binded by a marriage contract.

 

[Connie]

I don't have a significant other, but if I did, he could only visit. He would not be staying over and he would not have a key to my place. The only way he would be able to stay all night and have a key is if we are binded by a marriage contract.

Whew! Glad to see I'm not the only one. I was reading through the other posts and beginning to think I was a dying breed.

Not that I haven't had the SO staying over, but looking back, it just isn't worth it. They stay over, then they expect a nice cooked meal in the AM like they're your husband. Ya'll can keep that ish. As a matter of fact, I'd rather visit him, have my fun and leave when I'm done.

 

[DMJ's Mom]

I kinda feel the same way. I think living together and him staying at mine, with his washcloth and toothbrush there, coming and going when he pleases, are two different things.

For those that have your SO round more than twice a week, does he contribute to any bills of any sort?

No he doesn't pay any bills at my place just like I don't pay any of the bills over at his place. But on the same note he doesn't have a key to my place and I don't have a key to his usually we're out and moving so much that really our places are empty until it comes time to lay down our heads for the night.

 

[Everything Zen]

I don't have a significant other, but if I did, he could only visit. He would not be staying over and he would not have a key to my place. The only way he would be able to stay all night and have a key is if we are binded by a marriage contract.

Is this because you have a belief in relations should wait for marriage kinda deal?

 

[Everything Zen]

Whew! Glad to see I'm not the only one. I was reading through the other posts and beginning to think I was a dying breed.

Not that I haven't had the SO staying over, but looking back, it just isn't worth it. They stay over, then they expect a nice cooked meal in the AM like they're your husband. Ya'll can keep that ish. As a matter of fact, I'd rather visit him, have my fun and leave when I'm done.

Maybe your SO expected that but actually MisterMan does most of the cooking and serving me meals.

 

[lexi08]

Maybe your SO expected that but actually MisterMan does most of the cooking and serving me meals.

I have never been in the habit of letting an SO stay over frequently on a regular basis, if you want that kind of access then make me your wife. If they did, they cooked me breakfast or I was taken out to breakfast. They only expect things when you allow them too.....

 

[Everything Zen]

I have never been in the habit of letting an SO stay over frequently on a regular basis, if you want that kind of access then make me your wife. If they did, they cooked me breakfast or I was taken out to breakfast. They only expect things when you allow them too.....

I couldn't agree more.

 

[Poohbear]

Is this because you have a belief in relations should wait for marriage kinda deal?

Even if I was an atheist, I wouldn't do it either.

 

[Highly Favored8]

Yes, my FH has a key and he helps pay half of the bills. He helps with house work, homework, and help me to raise my son. I built a house and I am getting ready to move in on 4-15-08 "Lord Willing" my FH has helped me all the way. God is Good! I am Humbled and Blessed, to have help in these times!

 

[Bublin]

Interesting thread.

I was engaged to my ex and i had a key to his place but i never gave him a key to mine. He questioned it all the time. Asking what i had to hide. I only used his when he was there.

He mainly stayed at mine - say 2-3 times a week. His place was so uncomfortable, the bare basics. Never bought groceries that i liked and hardly turned the heating on erplexed. He did cook for me and waited on me hand and foot but when you have to wrap up in a duvet cus you're damn cold its not worth it - not even for love.

I'm the kind of girl that needs all her home comforts all the time. I want to pick my clothes from my wardrobe - not from an overnight bag or from a few items ive left at his place. I need all my toiletries to hand. I just feel like i'm camping out.

I found that him staying over was costing me alot of money and he never offered any money. He did pay when we went out and always drove.

After a year together i discovered just how in debt he was and staying at mine was economical for him.

I have just someone new and although he is a very different person i will be sure to not let the same thing happen. We've been on 6 dates and i still haven't invited him in yet. No feet under the table.

 

[fattyfatfat]

thanks for all of your replies.

I have my own place. My SO comes over only when Im here. He does not and can not have a key.

If your SO has a key, how long did it take to give it to him. Did he ask or you just gave it?

 

[TLC1020]

SO stay over about 3-4 times a week, I usually stay with him more though. Neither have keys to each others place and don't need them until we are engaged to be married.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Ditto. My husband did not get a key to my place until we were engaged and even then it was because I needed him to wait for a package and just never asked for my key back. He never came over unless I was at home and he never used the key since I was always at home when he was coming over.

When we were dating he stayed over a few nights a week but every few weeks I'd give him all of his clothes and other items to take back to his place. He did not move in his clothes and furniture until after the honeymoon.

He jokes about it now since I always made sure that he knew that he did not live at my place without being mean about it. As I explained to him, although I was sure of his intentions to marry me (as was my family since he did ask my parents for permission), I know of many women who got comfortable with their fiance sleeping over and they are still not married years later.

I own my own place. He doesn't.
He doesn't have a key. He can spend the night on the week ends and maybe once during the week. If I leave to go to work he can stay until its time for him to go to work.

I don't let him get too comfortable in my place. He kknows my reasoning and until we get married thats how its going to be.

 

[Everything Zen]

The only thing I'm questioning is if some of you ladies feel less uncomfortable about it becasue if you're not married it doesn't "look" right morally? I am finally moving into my own place 2 hours away from MisterMan in 2 months.

I am SO much more comfortable at his place than I am at home with my parents plus I work from my home office which means wherever I want to be from 9-5 (basically). I help him out by buying groceries and cleaning from time to time but he never asks me to and he still takes me out on dates and for the most part does not let me cook- he cooks and waits on me. It's been almost a year and he respects my desire to wait for sex until marriage and we have already started looking at houses and rings so I don't see what the big deal is. I feel like I'm looking out for all the pitfalls of cohabiting while getting all the benefits (meaning I get to know what's it's like to "live" with him and all of his quirks and habits and vice versa).

Besides now that we will be living farther away for the time being it would be mean to send him away after such a long drive after a few hours doncha think?