If I cut my Hair, I lose my Man...

Shinka said:
Thank you ladies for the support. I really thought about this. Yes, we have more issues on the table than just this hair, but we decided to take it slow to work them out. I tried explaining to him the hair issue to no avail. He wasn't hearing it.

I guess me wanting to change my hair was too drastic. He even mentioned how my hair was almost shoulder length when we met a year ago. So I guess my hair is part of his attraction to me.

But, my decision is F_HIM. He gotten on my last nerve with this today.


So I took his clippers and GI Janed my hair. So I'm rocking a head wrap because it's uneven for my taste. Howeverm, I feel so liberated fomr him and the hair.

Many of you are right: I feel like I just speed up the process of a potential breakup.

I hate to be controlled. So I'm taking the consequences in stride as a newly liberated...(for like the 8th time) Napp.
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Well Hello GI Shinka! Way to claim your power sister. You should be under no one's control.
 
Think about what you gained by cutting your hair...:yep:

I just think it's curious how you can get so much support from ladies here on this board who don't know you from Adam but the one that claims to love you...not so much...I pray for you happy, healthy scalp and hair, the growth and length you want, and the love and support that you need and deserve. :yep:
 
For me, it would be my hair. Not b/c I care more about hair than my man, but b/c HE obviously cares more about hair than me if he gives an ultimatum like that.

Everyone has the right to have a preference (long hair, short hair, blk hair, blonde hair, etc), but in the end it's hair and it will grow back. I think him giving that choice is even more mean b/c you did have a bad reaction to your last relaxer. It's not like you just woke up one morning and said "hmmm I'm cutting all my hair off".

Just my .02 :look:
 
xxBlackRosexx said:
That is crazy he is supposed to love you for you no matter what!
Cut it if you want to and see if he goes, if he does then he aint for you.:wallbash::wallbash::wallbash:
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i disagree. i find this kind of thinking naive and even dangerous; imo, many people's love for their partner is not unconditional at all and i tend to think that's best (i.e - don't think your partner is above sin/failure etc). with that said, i do not think cutting one's hair is something a partner should leave another for. that's a trivial reason. i do agree that if she cuts her hair and he leaves her, then there were other issues at play and the relationship wasn't bound to last anyway, long hair or not.

op, i say seriously consider how good your relationship is with this guy. if you think your relationship is fulfilling, then you could do a long transition and then BC when your hair is medium length (about 7-8 inches).

eta: reading on it seems your relationship is dead in the water (no offence but i get that from your posts), so go ahead and BC if this is what you truly want.
 
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WHOS More important

you or your man?

without you there would be no you and your man

so put you first and chop ur hair if thats what you want

if ur prepared to lose him

if your not prepared to lose him

then grow it out

i'm a feminist at heart

but i believe you can go around these things

dont put the man on BLAST

i mean, thats what attracted him amongst other things to the OP i imagine????

men complain women change re re re

if hes the kind of man affected by how you look to him then why cant they compromise?

but for him to lowe you is extreme
my man is in love with my hair

but i know he aint ending me and him over some excess waste protein!!!!!!!!!

sory,. i;m no good with direct answers
 
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Shinka said:
I have a dilemma today. I want to BC cause I can't do these perms. I had a bad scalp reaction last touch up and its almost time for anothetr touchup. My hair is short so there's no hiding the hair or protective ponytails. It's getting puffy in the miami heat.

I have a dilemma, I want to cut it and my man said if I do...it's over. He lasted through another BC this past Novemeber and says he can't do another.

"Makes no sense for a pretty girl like you to look like a boy"

We've been together for a year, we just ended our engagement, but decided to take things slower.

I don't know what to do. I don't like this puffy permed mess. He doesn't even like braids or weaves. I'm at a crossroads.

My Man or My Hair...help please.
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If this guy would dump you because you cut your hair you should be the one dumping HIM. Sorry to be harsh, but God knows it's the TRUTH!
You can do better.
 
Shinka said:
Thank you ladies for the support. I really thought about this. Yes, we have more issues on the table than just this hair, but we decided to take it slow to work them out. I tried explaining to him the hair issue to no avail. He wasn't hearing it.

I guess me wanting to change my hair was too drastic. He even mentioned how my hair was almost shoulder length when we met a year ago. So I guess my hair is part of his attraction to me.

But, my decision is F_HIM. He gotten on my last nerve with this today.


So I took his clippers and GI Janed my hair. So I'm rocking a head wrap because it's uneven for my taste. Howeverm, I feel so liberated fomr him and the hair.

Many of you are right: I feel like I just speed up the process of a potential breakup.

I hate to be controlled. So I'm taking the consequences in stride as a newly liberated...(for like the 8th time) Napp.
Click to expand...
Good for you!!!!!

I think what you did was commendable.
 
I wrote a long reply and the got logged out-

There are obviously lots of issues going on here!


I dont think your relationship could work long term-cut your hair if you like and if he goes he goes! You can do better! Remember Good, Better, Best

Your beautiful you deserve the best! Right now he doesn't even sound good
 
Please don't forget to start another thread when your hair starts inching down your back and he is begging you to come back. :)
 
I think it's worth discussing major changes in your appearance with your husband in advance. With your boyfriend, you asks him how he likes it when you get back from the salon.

As most women on this board can testify, most of us have had to do a BC at some point in our hair journey to deal with some issue but it should not be the death knell of a relationship.

My own BCs have varied from a shaved back & 1 side in high school to trimming back to cheek & shoulder skimming length.
 
SweetlyBlessed said:
I concur with the above. That's just plain nonsense. Is he just using your hair as an excuse for something else that will end the relationship? Looks like he's looking for a way out and it appears that you do nothing that out of line so he picked your hair.

It's more then your hair...pray and seek the REAL answer.
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Whether or not you cut your hair you should really CUT HIM out of your life!
 
If he's going to break up with you over something that stupid then you don't need him. It's not his hair and he's not your husband. I wish a nigaro would....
 
Girl, you know what's in your heart. I just bc and my husband wasnt happy. he wanted me to stay relaxed. i did what I wanted to do. My scalp wasnt agreeing with the relaxers. he hasnt left either. if he is giving you an ultimatum, just think whats next. Can u truly live like this? You need someone who loves u unconditionally. I say bc and do you. Hugs and keep us posted.
 
Do what will make you HAPPY with YOURSELF. If he can't love you when your happy with yourself, when will he ever truly love you? Talk to him.
 
He should find you attractive with "boy hair" or longer hair if he truly cares about you. Wow, what's his problem? I have to tell you honestly, if that's all it would take for him to end a relationship with you, you deserve someone better. In the meantime, do what's good for you.
 
Kimberly said:
I'm sorry. This doesn't sound like the person for you, to me. Sounds like you've already lost your man for him to even make such an ultimatum. I say call him on it....and NEXT!
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Yep. He already broke off the engagement. Duh!
 
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